Category / fear

by Nathan Coumbe

Art and plumbing are more similar than you think

Zig Ziglar relates a story in one of his talks about a man traveling through Native American tribes early in the 20th Century. What the man discovered was not a single person he encountered in those tribes stuttered. 

This phenomenon fascinated him, but he could never find a reason why. Finally, he asked one of the elders in the tribe why this was so. The elder informed the man there was no word in their native language for “stutter.” 

No label, no problem. 

In a fantastic article in The New Yorker, the author writes about the phenomenon known as “writer’s block.” What’s most interesting is this problem is not world-wide. The idea did not penetrate Europe until the 1800s, and even today, most Europeans don’t know what it is. It seems to be almost strictly an American issue. 

No label, no problem. If you don’t have a way to identify something as a problem, it can’t be a problem. 

We are all creative at something. We don’t get blocked: we get scared that what we create isn’t good enough. We feel there is some ethereal muse that must speak to us before we can make anything worthwhile. 

That’s crap.

Seth Godin has, what I believe to be, the most profound podcast episode I’ve ever listened to called “No such thing (as writer’s block).” One of my favorite sayings in the episode is this: “plumbers don’t get plumber’s block.” No plumber says he’s feeling too overwhelmed or uncreative enough to fix a pipe. They just fix the pipe. Surgeons don’t wait until they hear the muse speak to them to operate – they practice their craft every day and perform when it’s time to perform. 

Your art, whether it’s writing, music, painting, communicating, or leading people, is a craft – it’s a trade! Like blacksmithing, welding, or some other trade, it’s something that you learn, practice each day, and use to make something. 

If you’re a writer – write! Every day. Write something. Set a timer for 30 minutes and write. If you can’t think of what to write, write “I can’t think of anything to write,” over and over again until a new thought pops into your head. When that thought pops into your head, write it down too. Don’t worry about it making sense, being fantastic, or winning a literary prize. Just write. 

Insert your own art into the statement above and adapt it to your own situation. 

You aren’t blocked – you’re scared. Don’t wait for the muse. Do your work. 

It’s a trade like any other. 

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by Nathan Coumbe

How to get into the Hall of Fame

What does it take for a Major League Baseball player to earn a spot in the MLB Hall of Fame?

It takes failure.

Not a little bit of failure – it requires failing almost two-thirds of the time.

The best baseball players who’ve ever played the sport only average a hit 3 out of 10 times they come up to bat. That means they fail at their job 7 out of 10 times. And yet we still regard them as the best.

Why then, in our own lives, do we strive so hard to avoid failure at any cost? What if the avoidance of failure is preventing us from succeeding at a level that would cause us to stand out from the pack?

We don’t learn how to succeed through books, lectures, or seminars – we learn through failure, the greatest teacher of all. The books and seminars can help us avoid mistakes committed by others who’ve walked the path before us, but we have to fail on our own, in our own way, to find what works and what doesn’t.

To paraphrase Seth Godin in his webinar a few days ago: success requires time and failure.

Failing not only teaches you lessons from which you can improve, it also makes you more resilient to future failures. Each time you fail, you build a reserve for the future, which grows your confidence and allows you to try bigger and better things the next time. It’s a cycle that only spirals up.

What could you do in your life where you would consider batting .300 to be Hall of Fame-worthy success?

Don’t fear failure – fear never taking the chance of doing something great.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Leap of faith

Let’s be honest: leaping out into the unknown is terrifying. It is the unknown, after all.

But sometimes, to break the cycle, you just have to jump.

It always helps to have a solid foundation from which to start. Family, friends, finances, hope – they give you that foundation.

Build your relationships. Trust other people. Develop a healthy self-image.

Then jump.

by Nathan Coumbe

What are you afraid of?

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he could do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.”

–Henry Ford

In what areas do you doubt yourself?

What is the resistance telling you right now you cannot do?

Write it down; call it what it is. “Notice and name” as the folks over at Precision Nutrition like to say.

Don’t judge yourself; don’t feel guilty. Just say what it is. Then start asking why.

Why are you afraid?

You might find the answer surprising…you might also find that you have no answer and, perhaps, no reason to fear.

What one thing could you do right now to move away from the fear? What change do you desperately want to make but are too afraid to take the first step?

You can do it.

by Nathan Coumbe

How much is enough?

I asked myself this question a few days ago and elaborated on it in my journal. Specifically, I was asking myself, “How much money do I need to make to feel like I am making enough?”

Honestly, making more money right now would not bring me any more happiness. It’s not money that my conscience is crying out to gain: it is meaning, purpose, the ability to use my God-given talents and strengths to serve and help other people.

The income I make now is actually more than enough to satisfy my needs at this moment. So why am I not doing something that fills my cup?

Have you ever asked yourself what enough is? If you made $40,000 a year, could you live on that if it meant you were doing something you cared about so much and so thoroughly enjoyed you couldn’t dream of doing anything else?

My answer is yes. Yours may be different. At a certain point, making more money is just making more money. Studies tend to cap the increase in happiness that comes from money at about $75,000.

So what goal, idea, or passion is the quest for more money preventing you from pursuing?

Are you, perhaps, an artist who wants to paint? A musician who wants to play and teach? Or are you, like me, a teacher who simply wants to teach?

Ask yourself this question: could you, honestly, make a living knowing the starting or average income that job in your head receives? Could you survive, or even thrive, if it meant you were doing what you felt passionately called to do?

The irony is most of the time when you quit pursuing money and start pursuing passion in the service of others, more money than you imagined comes into your life.

How much is enough? Could you make it doing what you love?

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by Nathan Coumbe

Verify, don’t trust.

Perhaps it is because of my history education background, but I have a pet peeve about verifying information.

Human beings love stories: we have been telling stories ever since we could draw, write, or communicate with the most basic sounds. It is part of human nature. Because we like stories so much, we also love to embellish, hyperbolize, and, frankly, make stuff up.

In times of crisis, the last point is particularly common. There is a lot of misinformation out there: cures have already been created; vaccines are readily available; drinking liquid silver and bleach will keep you from catching the notorious coronavirus that causes COVID-19; mutations are occuring; martial law is being enacted.

Humans like to tell stories, and even when it is unpleasant, humans like to have their emotions stimulated. People make up stories to trigger these emotional responses. You must be aware of this.

This is not new.

For as long as we have been telling stories, writing articles, and now, using social media, people have been sensationalizing things simply to be heard. People crave attention; they desire to be heard. Some people will do anything to make that happen.

This habit of making things up, of telling half-truths, of seeking attention from the public – it isn’t new. The difference now is scale: more people than ever before, 2 billion in fact, have a voice; not all of them use that voice for good.

You must be vigilant, and check your sources. You must also resist the urge to share every single social media post you see, especially if you haven’t verified the information you are reposting. It will cause fear, panic, and anger. This situation is bad enough as it is, and people are already feeling dread.

Why make it worse?

You are lucky to live in world now where you have a voice; 100 years ago, you would not be so blessed.

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

–Uncle Ben from Spider-Man

You have a voice: please use it responsibly.

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by Nathan Coumbe

You are doing just fine. Relax.

We are constantly getting caught up – in what we don’t have, haven’t accomplished, how far we have to go, what we need to be doing next to get where we think we want to go.

It’s exhausting.

It’s also very frustrating and discouraging if you are not careful. When you find yourself getting caught up in all the stuff bouncing around your head, it helps to take a step back and look at things from a bird’s-eye view.

View your life on a timeline. I will illustrate with my own:

15 years ago, I was beginning one of the darkest periods of my life: bad relationships, growing up way too fast because my home life was falling apart, deep depression, severe anxiety – these were just a few of the treats I unknowingly had in my future.

10 years ago, I was just beginning college with an idea of what I wanted to do with my life – an idea that changed almost a dozen times in five years.

5 years ago, I was finishing my senior year of college. After graduation, I took a job making money that had me living below the poverty line in Mississippi. I was making about half of what I spent on my college education.

In the last five years, I graduated, got married, worked in five distinctly separate fields, got promoted three times, was actively recruited by a company because of skills I developed outside of college, and more than doubled my income.

It’s easy to get stuck on how far you have to go and all the things you haven’t yet accomplished. Don’t forget to look back and see how far you’ve come. The perspective will instantly change how you feel.

Relax. You’re doing just fine.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Profit vs. service

You have a really good idea, an idea that people will love, that will make a difference, that will make things better. In fact, the little voice in your head continues to tell you, “This might work.” But you continue to hesitate; you still haven’t shipped. Why not?

Money.

It always come back to money…but I don’t mean money in the way you’re thinking.

You might be a freelancer, a musician, a writer, or a budding entrepreneur: you want to improve the world, and you need to eat. Essentially, you are wrestling with two competing ideas: “Will this make me money?” vs. “Will this help people?”

If you live and work by the former question, you will make very little progress. There is no way for you to know if your endeavor will generate revenue, which means you will probably wait until you are sure it will work before you act. But if you can’t be sure (and you can’t), you won’t act.

Around and around it goes.

If you are searching for “yes” to the money question, you will feel fear every time you create a new video or go to click on the checkout button of a webhosting platform. You’ll be terrified every time you pick up the phone to make a sales call or approach a new customer in a store.

If you are worried about the profit, you revert to a scarcity mindset:

“I don’t know that this article will make money, so I probably shouldn’t post it.”

“Someone else is already doing something similar; I won’t be different enough to standout and earn an income.”

“What if I spent a little money to make this happen, but I never earn it back? I’ll have wasted it!”

Is that true? What if you didn’t make any money back, but you helped someone by spending it? You gave a gift; it was charity.

You do need to eat, which might mean you need a job while you seek to serve other people. If you work to answer the question, “Will this help people?” you will find that your ideas come naturally. They will be much easier to send out into the world: you won’t hesitate, because there is much less riding on the outcome.

In fact, the outcome is practically harmless. You either end up right where you started, or you make change happen. If you only help one person, then the answer to the question is a resounding “YES!”

I think the secret is faith and the right mindset. The right mindset is seeking to help people because you want to help them, not because you want to profit from them. Ironically, if you help enough people, you will be much closer to turning a profit than the fool who is focused on it.

Seth Godin says it all the time: “Ideas that spread, win.” They do. Helping others spreads, which means it wins. If you help people, they will know who you are. If they know who you are, they will come to you for more help. They will probably tell their friends about you as well. Soon you have an audience, people who trust you because you sought to help them, not profit from them. When people trust you, you win.

Live a life of abundance and give, give, give. Have faith that if you help enough people, the money will come.

And if it never does?

Well…you still helped a lot of people.

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by Nathan Coumbe

This one is just for me

(These are simply thoughts I needed to work out yesterday. Feel free to skip today’s post, as it is rather selfish. However, if you, for whatever reason, read all the way through this post, think about where all the signs in your life are pointing; ask yourself why you are hesitating going down the road.)

What do you do when all the signs are telling you to go a certain way? Why don’t you just go?

All the aptitude tests, interest assessments, and personal inventories tell you to go do this one thing, but still you hesitate.

Is it because you don’t know the next step to take? No, because you know the next step – get a graduate degree.

Is it because you don’t know the field in which to get the degree? Maybe…you do have trouble choosing between your varied interests.

Is it because of what you read and hear? Perhaps so.

“Professors don’t make a lot of money.”

“Most professors are adjuct, so they have work at multiple schools without receiving benefits from any of them.”

“Colleges are slowly dying – it’s hard to get a job at one, and it isn’t the most secure form of employment anymore. The cost of college is keeping people away, and the student loan crisis is going to cause all of them to fail.”

“You may be teaching in a field you love, but the students might not care about the material.”

“Half of the Ph.Ds out there are working in fields unrelated to their studies.”

Or perhaps it’s internal. Students are borrowing small fortunes without thinking to study things (or party but still somehow get the grade) that won’t guarantee them a stable job and a livable wage. That is something in which I cannot, in good conscience, involve myself.

Is it because you might have to stop working, taking a severe pay cut in order to attend?

Are you afraid you’ll fail? Perhaps you are worried you might get the degree, but you won’t be good enough/smart enough/talented enough/hard-working enough to be the best, which means you might not be sought out by the people who need the expertise you went to obtain.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Courage

What is courage? It is the same thing as bravery?

Courage might be doing something even when you are terrified.

It might also be one’s readiness for action when a situation demands it.

Either way, courage is a choice. It is the act of deciding to act when the need arises.

Be courageous. Choose to act.