No one cares about the features of anything. What they want to know is how it helps them.
“What do these features do for me?”
A friend of mine was asking about the internet provider we use in our home. Naturally, I wanted to sell him on the service that we use because I think it’s the best.
So I told him, “You get up to one gig upload and download speeds.’
Then I thought about it for a second and realized this: most people don’t know what that means. More importantly, they don’t care.
So I changed up my approach and told a story instead.
I told him that some of the projects I do each week for work have to be uploaded to Vimeo. “With our old Internet provider, I explained, “it would take me between 15 and 20 minutes to upload a single video. Now, with this new provider, it only takes me about 20 to 30 seconds to do the same thing.”
He was sold, right then and there.
Stories are how we humans make sense of the world. Stories are also what sells—anything and everything.
No matter what you’re trying to persuade someone to do, find a way to tell them a story about it.
“Too many businesses suffer from FOMO [Fear of Missing Out] when it comes to their marketing. ‘We NEED a podcast!’ We NEED to be on TikTok!’
We’re all marketers now, trying to change the culture and influence others (hopefully for the better). But we have a problem: we get so caught up trying to figure out the tools and tactics, we stop focusing on the people!
What if your target audience isn’t ON TikTok?
What if your ideal customers don’t LISTEN to podcasts?
Why use those platforms if they aren’t helping you reach the right people?
“Who’s it for?” is the first question we should be asking.
H/t to Seth Godin for teaching me what’s most important in marketing.
(Here’s the original post if you’re interested.)
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I’m a native of Mississippi, but I traveled to California numerous times as a teenager. Having been born and raised in the Deep South, I’d grown up saying “Yes, sir!” or “No, ma’am!” my entire life.
(For those of you not of the Deep South, “ma’am” is a contraction of the word “madam.” You know how us Southern folk like to throw a little twang into our speech).
In our culture, it is considered polite to use these phrases, and the epitome of rudeness should you not.
Then I traveled to California…
You’re Being Rude
On numerous occasions, people laughed at me for saying it. A friend of mine asked, “Is that something you just say in the South?”
I replied, “Yes, we use ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ whenever we speak to our elders. Or those we consider to be in positions of authority.”
“Well,” she replied, “when you say it, it sounds like you’re being sarcastic…like you’re mocking my parents.”
I was completely floored. It never occurred to me that I might be coming off as rude. On the contrary, I thought I was speaking with the utmost respect by using “sir” and “ma’am”.
Why Did I Tell You That Story?
It’s quite simple: different people see things differently.
If you travel to Spain, you are likely to be kissed on both cheeks as a form of greeting (at least before COVID-19). In the United States, our “bubbles” are too big for something like that. We’d consider that a severe violation of our personal space.
In some countries, it’s considered incredibly rude to “clean your plate.” Why? Because the cook will think you didn’t get enough to eat.
It seems bizarre, right? That’s because you see things differently.
Consider these differences when interacting with different people. Especially when traveling to different places. Or when in close contact with people of different cultures.
We All Have a Different Noise In Our Heads
Different people see things differently. Because of this, they interpret things differently. What may seem like an empathic gesture to one person might come across as uncaring by another.
An advertisement might be funny and persuasive to one prospect and bawdy and offensive to another.
You might create a work of art that one person ridicules unmercifully and another describes as “a masterpiece.”
When serving or communicating with different people, think whether or not your gesture will be well-received by the other person.
If not, change gestures or tactics.
You could easily write it off. “That person is just being difficult and unreasonable.” Occasionally, that might be so.
But you can’t do anything about that. All you can control is what you do.
And what you can do is treat different people differently.
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There is a war going on, a content war—one of which we are all a part. If you are on social media or have a smartphone, you now have a voice.
We have two choices:
We can sit on the sides and watch passively, soaking up everyone else’s content and letting it sway us one way or another.
Or we can choose to create, contribute, and add our voice to the mix and try to be heard. To change someone for the better. To make a difference however small.
It’s true you may never be noticed. You might be drowned out by all the other voices. But doing the work is still worth it—in fact, it’s all that matters.
If we do not speak up, there is no chance that we can improve anything. And those that seek to make things worse will overtake those who want to make things better.
Writing and sales: if you want to be successful in anything, you must be able to do both well.
If you have an idea, you must communicate it to others; if you want it implemented in some way, you must persuade them.
Writing and sales.
If you want a new job, you have to let others know why you’re the applicant for them by first getting their attention and then persuading them of your worth and potential.
Writing and sales.
“Writing is organized thinking on behalf of persuasion.”
Writing helps you clarify your thoughts and communicate more clearly. You need it in every field in which you might work. Learn to write.
Parents, physicians, therapists, educators, and those in every other profession must win over those they serve–children, patients, students–to their way of thinking. Learn to sell.
Writing and sales: the most important skills of a modern worker.
If you want to create lasting influence with others, or change for the better, there is really only one way to do it:
Praise the good.
“So long as a person did anything good, he would praise him and use him for the service in which he excelled, but to his other conduct he paid no attention…”
–Cassius Dio writing about Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius
When Emperor Marcus Aurelius wanted to influence other people, to reinforce the behaviors and actions he wanted to see, he would praise the person who did the good deed. This is actually quite Pavlovian in its execution.
Conditioning good behavior
Remember Pavlov from your introductory psychology class? Pavlov would ring a bell before he gave his dogs food; the food caused the dogs to salivate. Eventually the dogs associated the ringing bell with food and would salivate when the bell rang, even when Pavlov did not give them food.
Marcus essentially did the same thing with those in his service: whenever they did something of which he approved, he praised it. This constant reinforcement of the good conditioned his people to do more good work in the future. But there is a second part to Dio’s observation above…
Pay no attention to the rest
Not only did Marcus praise the good, he ignored the behavior and actions he didn’t want to continue. Why did he do this?
There is a wonderful little book who’s first chapter discusses this at length:
How often have you had a positive outcome after you criticized someone for doing something? I would hazard a guess at 10%.
When you criticize someone, they get angry, defensive, and emotionally illogical. He or she will justify the action rather than accept that it was wrong. It’s a natural human response. We don’t like to be wrong, and we definitely don’t like other people pointing out our poor behavior.
Therefore, the only way to get the results you want from other people is to praise them when you seeing them do the good deeds you want done. Criticizing the bad doesn’t work: it only causes resentment.
“We are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures brisling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”
(Of course, there are some behaviors that are dangerous, illegal, immoral, or that might harm others; these behaviors must be stopped immediately. Those sorts of behaviors are not the topic of discussion here.)
Be a model
How do let others know what good actions or behaviors are? You must be a model. Do the things you want others to do; be the kind of person you want others to be.
Seth Godin likes to say, “people like us do things like this.” Invite people to be “people like us,” whoever you think “people like us” should be. Then, do the things you want others to do, and when they follow, praise them for it!
Model good behavior. Praise others when they perform good work. Ignore the rest.
Uncle Ben said it best: “with great power comes great responsibility.” This should be the phrase by which every leader and marketer lives.
Marketing and leadership are two fields primarily focused on influence. Leaders focus their efforts on influencing what work gets done and on what companies place emphasis; marketers focus on what products get made, what gets purchased, and what changes are made in our culture.
With great influence also comes great responsibility. Leaders and marketers have in their hands the power to persuade others towards things that are either helpful or harmful.
Who gets to decide which is which? Technically, it’s the follower, the consumer, or the customer. But we are all human–we know before a customer tells us whether or not our product or idea will harm her.
If you lead others, if you sell, or if you persuade, please take your responsibility–the power you have over other people–seriously.
You are having an argument with your spouse, and she doesn’t understand your point of view, no matter how much you push it.
Your children won’t do anything that you ask them to do. They won’t engage or communicate with you; they shut down every time you try to talk to them.
You are writing blogs and posts, but no one is reading or responding to them.
You’ve created a product that will change lives, but no one is buying it.
Naturally, you ask the question:
“Why is no one listening to me?”
You feel you are doing everything right. You have the right ideas or the right argument; you know more than your children; this product is truly amazing and has revolutionized the way you see and do things. And yet, no one is listening. No one is engaging. No one is buying.
Why?
Because you aren’t listening to them.
The only way to get others to listen to you, to engage with you, to buy from you, is to listen to them and understand their points of view, their wants, and their needs.
If you bludgeon people over the head with your arguments and ideas, they won’t accept them; they don’t have the same ideas, the same noise inside their heads. They are telling themselves different stories. The key to being listened to, to making an impact, is to understand those other stories.
You don’t have to agree with them, but you do have to listen to and understand them. When people feel understand, when they feel heard, when they know that you see them and their side of things, they feel more open to hearing what you have to say.
No one is listening to you because you aren’t listening to them.
Your spouse won’t listen to your side of the argument because all you are thinking of is your side of the argument.
Your children won’t listen to your advice and guidance – even though you probably do know more and understand more than they do – because they don’t feel like you understand them, how they feel, or the narrative in their heads.
No one is buying your stuff because as awesome as it is, they don’t get how it will benefit them or how it will make them feel once they use it. Why? Because you didn’t take the time to understand what they want or how they want to feel.
To influence someone, you must open yourself to the possibility of being influenced by the other person. This means creating a feeling of understanding in the other person. This is not meant to be manipulative: you must genuinely want to understand the other person. Also, people can tell if you are simply trying to manipulate them rather than understand them.
Listen to what your spouse wants; listen to how your children feel; listen to the needs and frustrations of your customers.
Understanding must always come first; otherwise you’ll fail.
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Even on the smallest scale, we are marketing and selling. It might not be products but rather ideas or ways of thinking and being.
If I have an idea about how people can behave or change to improve their lives, to become the best possible versions of themselves, it does no one any good unless I can persuade them to adopt the ideas. That means that I have to sell to them.
“Making is insufficient. You haven’t made an impact until you’ve changed someone.”
– Seth Godin, This Is Marketing, p. xiv
Marketing and sales are both about influence; each of us must influence others to create change (we will get into the ethics of influence in another post).
Leadership in the modern age is sales and marketing. During the Industrial Age, a leader told an employee what to do and that person either complied or left. In the Knowledge Age, a leader must influence those who follow. You can still attempt tell people what to do, but it rarely leads to enrollment and willing compliance, without which high-quality work does not occur. However, influencing them – by empathizing and understanding what they want, feel, need, and believe, and then having the courage to let them know your ideas for progress – this sort of leadership brings others willingly to your way of thinking. (It also potentially creates better ideas than either party came up with on their own.)
Every career requires sales and marketing. A psychologist is both a salesperson and a marketer. If they do not market, they do not get patients. She cannot rely on her credentials to bring people into the office.
A teacher is marketing each time she sets foot in the classroom. If she cannot get her students to come with her, if she cannot get them excited and willing to go on the learning journey, her knowledge and expertise are useless. She must influence them.
If you coach people on how to level up their careers, personal lives, or get past negative scripting from earlier life periods, you must sell them on the ideas you present. If you fail to do so, or do it poorly, you have failed to create change or the desire for it in the other person.
Regardless of whom you seek to influence, you must always begin by understanding them, their points of view, their wants, desires, worries, fears, and problems. That is always the first step to influence, and influence is marketing.
We all must influence others to make change happen, and if everything is marketing and everything is sales, you might as well learn to do it well.
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