Until we can believe that there is enough to go around, that each of us has the possibility to win alongside others, we cannot live effectively in an interdependent world.
Instead, we will see the world through the paradigm of scarcity. Everything becomes a competition rather than a chance for cooperation and mutual benefit.
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“You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”
—Ruth Smeltzer
Help someone today in whatever small or grand way you can.
Don’t do it as part of your job—do it because it (and you) are good and decent.
Give the gift of service—true service—where reciprocation is not possible.
A little old lady can never put a price on being helped across the street.
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When you are serving other people (i.e., working), there will be times when you don’t have the answer to the problem in front of you.
Perhaps you work in customer service, a retail store, or banking. Someone is going to ask you a question for which you do not have an answer. What do you do?
If you went to a typical school or were processed through typical corporate training, you might have a few possible answers immediately:
Do you see a better option?
You are surrounded by people that know more than you, have more experience than you, and do the same type of work as you, either in person or resources on the internet. Ask them for help, but take it one step further.
Learn alongside the person you are trying to help. It’s easy and has two benefits: 1) the person in need gets the help he or she requires, and 2) you learn something new that will be in your toolbelt for next time.
Here’s your answer when you don’t know:
“I don’t know the solution to this problem, but I guarantee we can find one. Let’s find out what it is together!“
Most of our education and training conditions us to work by ourselves, independently from everyone else, under an authority figure who has all the answers.
“Only raise your hand if you know the answer” becomes “never acknowledge ignorance in front of customers!” That will only discredit you. They will lose faith in you. You will be humiliated.
Actually, no – by being humble enough to admit your ignorance, they will respect you for not lying to them, not giving them bad information that will fail or hurt them in practice, and not wasting their time.
The real world is full of collaboration, synergy, and needs us to use all available resources to find the answers. The real world is an open-book group test.
It is not full of, nor should we encourage, independent work with no outside help, an authority figure with all the answers, or a lack of information that you are not allowed to remedy by looking up the answer.
If the real world isn’t like that, why are we training people to operate that way?
Be bold, be brave, and admit your ignorance. Then go find the answer using every person and resource at your disposal.
“I don’t know – let’s find out together.”
The saying goes, “nice guys finish last.” I say we drop the final word.
Nice guys finish; that’s what is truly important.
How can the idea of being kind to others, of being understanding and empathic, lead you astray?
You might be taken advantage of; you may not gain any immediate wins or notoriety by being the nice guy. But in the long term, you will come out ahead. You will finish.
You might be last, but you still finished the race.
Those who are overly aggressive, pushy, disagreeable, who stomp all over other people will get ahead of you. They are playing a short game. They’ll win the battle. But you aren’t a tactician: you are a strategist.
The strategist, the nice guy, takes the long view: he sacrifice the immediate benefits of imposing his will on someone else. He does not seek to win at all costs. He stays true to his principles and values, giving respect and dignity to others. The results of such an approach are increased trust and understanding between two parties, rather than a win/lose or lose/win situation.
So yeah, nice guys may finish last. But they make it to the finish line. The same can’t always be said for mean guys.
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