Tag / fear of failure

by Nathan Coumbe

Why do we diminish our work?

An acquaintance of mine in Seth Godin’s Purple Space Community announced a new project. It was one I never would have thought of, yet still found fascinating and potentially life-changing for some people.

But he ended his announcement by saying, “I know it’s not significant or anything…”

Why do we do that? Why, when we embark on a new journey or start something new, do we diminish it from the outset?

Because we’re afraid it might not work.

Because we don’t want to feel a sense of letdown.

Because we equate “significance” with the size of the impact, not the impact itself.

Significance: the quality of being worthy of attention; importance.

Nowhere in that definition does it say anything about being worthy of attention to a large number of people. It just says “worthy of attention.” And if it’s worthy of attention to a few people, that makes it significant to those people!

I shared with him the Tale of the Starfish:

A young girl was walking along a beach where thousands of starfish had washed up during a storm. When she came to a starfish, she picked it up and threw it back into the ocean.

A man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? You can’t save them all. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl picked up another starfish and hurled it into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference for that one!”

by Nathan Coumbe

Learn or succeed

These are the only two results of any endeavor.

My late mentor Dan Miller sent this to me in a message years ago:

“At the beginning of each year, I set goals and plans to do things that have the potential to not work. If they fail, I learn. If they succeed, I profit. Either way, I win.”

Whenever I find myself hesitating about a decision, I re-read this. I hope it helps you, too.

by Nathan Coumbe

Better to try and fail? (Or never try at all?)

In the movie Lions for Lambs, Robert Redford’s character asks his professor a poignant question:

“Is there any difference in trying but failing, and simply failing to try—if you end up in the same place anyway?”

Of course there is. 

If you try to do something, you at least have a chance at succeeding, however small it may be. 

But if you don’t try because you’re too scared of failing… Then you’ve already failed. In that scenario, you’ve guaranteed your failure. You’ve taken possibility and luck out of the equation.

If everyone adopted that nihilistic attitude, then nothing would ever happen. Our lives, businesses, relationships—literally everything—would come to a screeching halt. We’d be living in entropy, slowly withering away to nothing. 

Our lives are built on failure. The striving for worthwhile goals is what helps us grow, not the achievement of those goals. 

So if you have a choice between trying and failing, or not trying because you’ll end up in the same place either way, make the choice to try. 

by Nathan Coumbe

Start with a rough draft

It’s much easier to make your work better if you have something to work with.

You can’t edit your blog post if you haven’t written it yet.

You can’t make your new song swing if you don’t record the demo.

You can’t grow your business if you don’t start by landing one paying customer.

Trying to make things perfect before you put the work down on paper is futile.

Get the rough draft finished. Then go back and make it better.

by Nathan Coumbe

Change your story, change your results

Each of us has an internal narrative constantly chattering about who we are. 

But what we don’t always realize is that internal narrative influences how we behave.

If you tell yourself the story that, “Overeating makes me feel happy,” that story might be a stand-in for the real story—“I’m unhappy with different aspects of my life and overeating gives me a small dose of pleasure.”

Until you realize this, you’ll continue to overeat and live on greasy fast food multiple times each week.

(I know this because it’s a story I’m trying to rewrite myself). 

If you tell yourself a story that says, “I’m not skilled at sales or business,” you might never realize your unresolved dream of starting your own venture and working for yourself. 

The first step to overcoming many of our chronic issues is to start telling ourselves a different story. 

Changing what you do starts by changing your identity—who you believe yourself to be. 

Change the story, change the person.

by Nathan Coumbe

Are you scared of failing? Or…

Are you afraid the path you’re walking is taking you somewhere you don’t want to go?

The former means you should probably keep going.

The latter is a warning from your inner self, your conscience, your child artist… Whatever you want to call that little voice that whispers truth in your ear.

But here’s the problem:

Often the two fears are hard to distinguish. To figure out which it is requires time for introspection, writing, silence… Sometimes even experimentation with what’s scaring you.

Often this fear manifests itself around our careers.

Are you afraid you might fail at being a salesperson? Or does the idea of selling this particular thing make your skin crawl?

Remember: one means you should try. The other means you should rethink your path.

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by Nathan Coumbe

It’s Just a Simple Fear of Failing

Dan Miller sent out an email a couple of weeks ago entitled “Why Are You Stuck?” It struck a nerve in me, so I pinned that email to the top of my inbox and read it every day for the last two weeks.

Today, I finally took the time to craft a response and send it back to him. I thought I’d share it with you as well.

I’m a great writer—in fact, I do that in my day job. That, combined with my teaching experience, is why I was hired. Because I’m good at, and enjoy, writing, I keep thinking about, journaling about, and contemplating becoming a freelance copywriter as a 15-hour a week side business.

(Click here if you’d want to learn how YOU can start a business with only 15 hours per week)

I eventually want to become a full-time marketing consultant and a business coach for aspiring entrepreneurs and small business folks. I’m already doing the latter as part of my day job, just not as often as I’d like.

And…I keep getting cold feet, talking myself out of it. But today, I think I’ve finally been able to express what’s holding me back. It’s not a fear of cold-calling people or getting rejected…

I’m afraid I’m going to let them down! I’m afraid I’m going to fail to live up to my prices. Or write bad copy. Or that I’ll wireframe and write copy for a website, and it won’t work! I’m terrified of charging someone money for something and failing to deliver what I promised.

It seems disappointingly simple that my hold-ups come down to a simple fear of failure. But there it is. Dan asked me the question, and this morning I finally had an answer for him.

What’s holding you back? Maybe you’re thinking of starting a business or becoming a freelancer yourself. If so, I encourage you to click here and enter your email address.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Are You Afraid of Being Told “Yes”?

Fear of rejection is normal. As a new freelancer, businessperson, or job-hunter, the thought of being rejected is terrifying. It’ll stop you in your tracks.

You don’t even have to try hard to imagine the feeling. You reach out, make cold contacts, and have (metaphorical) doors slammed in your face over and over. It’s enough to keep anyone from trying.

But there may be another reason you’re hesitating. A seemingly ridiculous reason you haven’t sent that email or finished that application.

You’re worried they might say yes…

Why would anyone worry about that? Isn’t hearing “yes” the best news possible?

And yet this fear is universal. Because if they say yes, you’re on the hook. You’re now responsible.

If you take on a freelance project, it’s all on you to deliver. If you take on a new job or move into a new career field, you have to perform.

And maybe…just maybe…you’re afraid you won’t be able to live up to the expectations. Maybe you’re worried you won’t deliver on the promise you made.

It’s not always fear of rejection that paralyzes us.

Often, we’re worried we’ll get exactly what we ask for.

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by Nathan Coumbe

How to get into the Hall of Fame

What does it take for a Major League Baseball player to earn a spot in the MLB Hall of Fame?

It takes failure.

Not a little bit of failure – it requires failing almost two-thirds of the time.

The best baseball players who’ve ever played the sport only average a hit 3 out of 10 times they come up to bat. That means they fail at their job 7 out of 10 times. And yet we still regard them as the best.

Why then, in our own lives, do we strive so hard to avoid failure at any cost? What if the avoidance of failure is preventing us from succeeding at a level that would cause us to stand out from the pack?

We don’t learn how to succeed through books, lectures, or seminars – we learn through failure, the greatest teacher of all. The books and seminars can help us avoid mistakes committed by others who’ve walked the path before us, but we have to fail on our own, in our own way, to find what works and what doesn’t.

To paraphrase Seth Godin in his webinar a few days ago: success requires time and failure.

Failing not only teaches you lessons from which you can improve, it also makes you more resilient to future failures. Each time you fail, you build a reserve for the future, which grows your confidence and allows you to try bigger and better things the next time. It’s a cycle that only spirals up.

What could you do in your life where you would consider batting .300 to be Hall of Fame-worthy success?

Don’t fear failure – fear never taking the chance of doing something great.

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