You are doing just fine. Relax.

We are constantly getting caught up – in what we don’t have, haven’t accomplished, how far we have to go, what we need to be doing next to get where we think we want to go.

It’s exhausting.

It’s also very frustrating and discouraging if you are not careful. When you find yourself getting caught up in all the stuff bouncing around your head, it helps to take a step back and look at things from a bird’s-eye view.

View your life on a timeline. I will illustrate with my own:

15 years ago, I was beginning one of the darkest periods of my life: bad relationships, growing up way too fast because my home life was falling apart, deep depression, severe anxiety – these were just a few of the treats I unknowingly had in my future.

10 years ago, I was just beginning college with an idea of what I wanted to do with my life – an idea that changed almost a dozen times in five years.

5 years ago, I was finishing my senior year of college. After graduation, I took a job making money that had me living below the poverty line in Mississippi. I was making about half of what I spent on my college education.

In the last five years, I graduated, got married, worked in five distinctly separate fields, got promoted three times, was actively recruited by a company because of skills I developed outside of college, and more than doubled my income.

It’s easy to get stuck on how far you have to go and all the things you haven’t yet accomplished. Don’t forget to look back and see how far you’ve come. The perspective will instantly change how you feel.

Relax. You’re doing just fine.

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This one is just for me

(These are simply thoughts I needed to work out yesterday. Feel free to skip today’s post, as it is rather selfish. However, if you, for whatever reason, read all the way through this post, think about where all the signs in your life are pointing; ask yourself why you are hesitating going down the road.)

What do you do when all the signs are telling you to go a certain way? Why don’t you just go?

All the aptitude tests, interest assessments, and personal inventories tell you to go do this one thing, but still you hesitate.

Is it because you don’t know the next step to take? No, because you know the next step – get a graduate degree.

Is it because you don’t know the field in which to get the degree? Maybe…you do have trouble choosing between your varied interests.

Is it because of what you read and hear? Perhaps so.

“Professors don’t make a lot of money.”

“Most professors are adjuct, so they have work at multiple schools without receiving benefits from any of them.”

“Colleges are slowly dying – it’s hard to get a job at one, and it isn’t the most secure form of employment anymore. The cost of college is keeping people away, and the student loan crisis is going to cause all of them to fail.”

“You may be teaching in a field you love, but the students might not care about the material.”

“Half of the Ph.Ds out there are working in fields unrelated to their studies.”

Or perhaps it’s internal. Students are borrowing small fortunes without thinking to study things (or party but still somehow get the grade) that won’t guarantee them a stable job and a livable wage. That is something in which I cannot, in good conscience, involve myself.

Is it because you might have to stop working, taking a severe pay cut in order to attend?

Are you afraid you’ll fail? Perhaps you are worried you might get the degree, but you won’t be good enough/smart enough/talented enough/hard-working enough to be the best, which means you might not be sought out by the people who need the expertise you went to obtain.

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We are all volunteers

Everyone you interact with on a daily basis is a volunteer in your life.

Don’t believe it? Try an experiment:

If you have children, a spouse, or any sort of significant other, order them around, withhold affection, neglect the small kindnesses and courtesies that make relationships so strong and fun.

If you do it long enough and often enough, they will quit.

(Please don’t actually try that experiment.)

The same is true in any organization: simply because someone is employed by another does not mean that person is not a volunteer. You would never neglect the needs and wants of a customer or disrespect her. Why not? Because a customer is a volunteer – she is choosing to do business with you, and that choice can be revoked at any time.

There seems to be some disconnect when money is involved – because the person is paid, she does not deserve the same level of care and dignity given to a customer. This could not be further from the truth.

The employee might be reliant on that money; she might need it for her survival, but she is still a volunteer.

Your friends and family members are volunteers; they are customers. They are choosing to do “business” with you, and at any time, that choice can be revoked. Your employees are volunteers; they just happen to be paid.

Treat everyone with whom you interact as a volunteer customer, and you will seldom be disappointed.

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New toys

There is nothing quite like coming home and opening new toys. Even when you’re almost 30.

My new practice and teaching kit arrived today, and I could not be more thrilled.

It pays to have a partner

Sometimes the best thing you can do in life is to find someone to walk through it with you.

If you’re lucky (or a really good judge of character), that person will support you, believe in you, push you to greater heights, and love you unconditionally.

I hope you find that person. You deserve it.