Category / effectiveness

by Nathan Coumbe

One hundred

There is something magical about the number 100. Nothing that comes before it really has the same feeling of meaning associated with it.

Think of the first time you had $100 in your hand. Today, that really doesn’t stretch very far, but do you remember the feeling? It was powerful, a feeling of wealth, of richness, of feeling as though you could do anything and buy anything you wanted.

Or what about Napoleon’s 100 Days? He escaped from the island of Elba, rallied 1,500 men, marched on Paris, and became emperor once more. Of course, he was defeated at Waterloo and kicked out again, but he still had those hundred days.

Or maybe working out? Have you ever done 100 push-ups or pull-ups? Have you ever put 100 pounds on a bar and lifted it for the firs time?

United States has exactly 100 senators. And the other important thing to many Americans: there are 100 yards between end-zones on a football field.

100ºF is extremely hot for humans; 100ºC will boil water into vapor.

100% is total, complete, a perfect score.

Most great lists of music, actors, artists, influential people, and books are lists of 100.

There is truly something special about one hundred.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Perhaps you’re looking at the wrong map

One of my favorite teachings in Stephen R. Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is the one about paradigms. To summarize, he uses maps as a metaphor for paradigms: they are representations of real places, not the places themselves.

If you are trying to navigate through Atlanta, but the map you received was misprinted with Atlanta as the name but a layout of New York, you are going to have a very difficult time getting where you want to go.

This has resonated with me for the past two days. I have been feeling restless and unsettled about where I am in certain aspects of my personal and professional life. It’s a feeling of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I decided to take a step back and use my powers of self-awareness to look at how I was looking at these circumstances.

I won’t go into detail about all of the things I’ve examined for two days, but what I will say is that I have come to find that I was looking at my life through a certain lens. When I stepped back and looked through a different lens – when I picked up a different map – I had a sudden feeling of clarity.

Perhaps I am in the right place: where I am is allowing me to practice and make mistakes. I am learning and using skills that I have been trying to practice, and I am doing it in an environment that supports me.

My paradigm has changed from one of restlessness to one of purpose: I am here for a reason; I am doing certain things for a reason. I must live in the present for a while, so I can launch into the next phase of my life.

Take a moment today and look at your maps.

Make sure you are looking at the right one.

If not, get a new map.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Successful people do ONE thing all the time

Successful people are normal. They have no superhuman abilities, no extreme discipline honed by years of meditation or special operations training. However, they do something the rest of us don’t always do:

They choose.

Successful people choose what is important to them; they choose to prioritize what is important throughout the day; and they choose to carry out those things regardless of feelings or external triggers.

You must plan to do the things that matter – the things that will get you where you want to go. These are the achievements, contributions, and attributes for which you want to be remembered at your funeral.

Before you can plan them, however, you must define them. How will you achieve what’s important if you don’t know what is important?

You won’t.

But even if you lay out what is important and plan your day accordingly, it will not matter unless you choose to carry out the items of importance. This is what separates successful people from the rest.

“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do….They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”

E.M. Gray – “The Common Denominator of Success”

Even if something is important, and you are aware of its importance, you will find times when you really don’t want to do it. You won’t want to exercise; you won’t want to read your kids to sleep after a long day at work. If you don’t, that’s fine. But you are making a choice based on feelings or circumstances, relinquishing control of your own life.

Every action you take or don’t is a choice. Choose to do the things that further your mission, rather than choosing to let other people, feelings, and circumstances choose for you.

Choose to be successful.

In summary

Define what really matters most to you.

Plan your days based around what is important.

And most importantly, choose to act regardless of how you feel, what other people do, or what is going on around you.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Nice guys finish

The saying goes, “nice guys finish last.” I say we drop the final word.

Nice guys finish; that’s what is truly important.

How can the idea of being kind to others, of being understanding and empathic, lead you astray?

You might be taken advantage of; you may not gain any immediate wins or notoriety by being the nice guy. But in the long term, you will come out ahead. You will finish.

You might be last, but you still finished the race.

Those who are overly aggressive, pushy, disagreeable, who stomp all over other people will get ahead of you. They are playing a short game. They’ll win the battle. But you aren’t a tactician: you are a strategist.

The strategist, the nice guy, takes the long view: he sacrifice the immediate benefits of imposing his will on someone else. He does not seek to win at all costs. He stays true to his principles and values, giving respect and dignity to others. The results of such an approach are increased trust and understanding between two parties, rather than a win/lose or lose/win situation.

So yeah, nice guys may finish last. But they make it to the finish line. The same can’t always be said for mean guys.

by Nathan Coumbe

Averaging out

It is amazing that our workplaces push so hard to average out employees in a culture that places so much emphasis on sports.

“How could you have a soccer team if all were goalkeepers?”

–Desmond Tutu

On a football team, players have specific roles assigned based on their talents and, many times, physical traits. Quarterbacks don’t fill in for linebackers and vice versa.

The only way for businesses to thrive is to focus on and develop the strengths and differences of their teams; averaging them out into mindless automatons squashes creativity, collaboration, and synergy. Different strength areas in an individual combined with the complimentary strengths of others make an effective team.

If there are genuine weaknesses inhibiting an employee from performing, it must be addressed. However, to focus exclusively on weaknesses, rather than the uniqueness of the individual, makes little sense. Even as children we were taught not to attempt to fit round pegs in square holes. The shapess are different, and they are ideally suited certain places.

The same is true in work: find the right person with the right talents that multiplies the performance of a role and team.

Making everyone a linebacker makes for a losing team.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Empathy

“Until thy feet have trod the Road

Advise not wayside folk.”

–Rudyard Kipling

What is Kipling’s meaning? Should we not correct others when they do wrong, unless we ourselves have done the same wrong? I don’t think so.

I think Kipling is speaking of empathy, the skill of attempting to feel what someone else is feeling, of putting oneself in the shoes of another.

Most people react when they see someone acting in a way with which they disagree or do not understand. We see a parent fail to harshly correct a child for misbehaving, so we assume the parent is inept or irresponsible. A person resorts to drinking as a coping mechanism, so we call them a wastrel, a drunk, or a fool.

But what if you put yourself in place of the parent, or even the child? As the child, how would you prefer to be corrected? With harsh words and physical punishment, or through a one-on-one conversation used as a teaching moment? Would this not grow trust and improve the relationship? Perhaps the parent had a painful childhood she does not wish to repeat with her own offspring, so she chooses to react with restraint.

Look at the alcoholic, a type of person with which I have had more experience than I wish to remember. Perhaps he grew up in a violently abusive or neglectful household; perhaps he saw friends and innocents killed in a horrifying warzone. Yes, alcohol will not heal his wounds,nor is it a healthy way to cope. However, to judge and condemn without the same experiences of that person, or at least without empathizing with him, is an ineffective way to interact with the person. Empathy and understanding would go much further towards helping him to recover were he willing.

This is not to say that you should not try to help others find the right path, but how it is done can make all the difference.

Moreover, until you have put yourself in the place of another, how can you be sure that the other person is wayside and not yourself? Were you to empathize with them, you might come to find that your paradigm, your view of the world, is incomplete or inaccurate. We would all like to believe that we are objective and rational, but more often than not we fail at both.

Choose empathy before all else. You might then be in a position to influence others in positive ways. And if not, you have still become a better human for the attempt.

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by Nathan Coumbe

2020 vision is great. 2040 vision might be better.

(I had to jump on the bandwagon and write one of these “20/20 vision” posts; I hope you will forgive me.)

I once had 20/20 vision in both eyes; a degenerative disorder in my right eye quickly reduced my vision to around 20/80. With glasses, I am able to see at approximately 20/40.

Speaking metaphorically, my 20/40 vision will probably serve me better than 20/20 ever would. Here’s why:

I could make all sorts of plans for 2020, and if I achieved them, you might consider me quite successful. But how would we truly know?

If I only look to the end of 2020, all that I accomplish this year might take me in the wrong direction. Only by looking further out, to 2040 and beyond, can I truly know if what I accomplish this year will matter long-term.

I have to determine what I want said about me on my 50th birthday, not my 30th. What will be important to me in 20 years? What are my principles and values I wish to live by? What is my mission? What achievements and contributions do I wish to have and make? If I die at 50, what do I want said about me at my funeral?

Having that 2020 vision is great; we should all strive to accomplish extraordinary things this year. Just make sure that you look out far enough, so that what you accomplish this year has meaning in 2040 and beyond.

Happy New Year, all.

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by Nathan Coumbe

What would it take to replace you?

Think about your work and personal life for a moment.

What qualities and skills would your employer look for in a new hire were she attempting to replace you?

Be that person now.

What would your spouse, significant other, or children look for in a partner or role model if you weren’t around?

Be that person now.

Start.

Be the person others in your life want and need; you will become nearly impossible to replace.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Should be vs. what is

You cannot move forward until you accept the reality of your current situation.

Things absolutely should be a certain way. Some people should still be alive.

But they aren’t.

Your current reality dictates what is possible in your future. But that realization equips you with a great power: the power to turn what you think should be into your future reality (to a certain extent. I’m in no way insinuating that you can bring back the dead).

Accept what is, then act accordingly.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Tomorrow is just another Wednesday

It’s New Year’s Eve – which means tomorrow is a new year, a chance to start over again, to accomplish all the goals you set for yourself but failed to achieve in 2019. It’s a chance to make new resolutions and actually keep them this time.

Yeah…right.

Tomorrow is just another Wednesday. New Year’s resolutions rarely work, as most of us know.

Yes, there is something innate within us that seems to see new opportunities at the beginning of every year, but there really isn’t anything special about tomorrow.

Except that tomorrow is another day. If you are lucky enough to wake up breathing tomorrow, you’ve been given a chance. Every day gives you the opportunity to start again, to make promises to yourself and keep them.

So do that – not because tomorrow is New Year’s, but because tomorrow is tomorrow. What is one tiny little thing you want to start doing better, or stop doing altogether?

Make a promise to yourself that you are going to do that one tiny thing. Keep that promise, day in and day out; don’t worry about anything else. Pretty soon you will form a habit. Then do it again. Not next year as a New Year’s resolution, but next week or next month, as a promise to yourself.

Tomorrow is just another Wednesday. Make the most of it.

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