Tag / change psychology

by Nathan Coumbe

“People like us do healthy things like this”

According to Seth Godin, the definition of culture is, “People like us do things like this.”

Any sort of “culture” you want to be part of has things people like them do, so all you have to do to join that culture is do those things too.

Want to be a writer? What do writers do regularly that makes them successful? Copy those behaviors, and you’ll be a writer, too.

Have you always wanted to be a politically engaged, active, contributing citizen? What do those sorts of people do daily, and can you build a relationship with them?

I was thinking about this in the context of health this morning, and I thought it could be a really helpful way to develop healthier (and sustainable) practices in your life.

What do the healthy people you know do on a regular basis? Answering that question is a really good way to become people like us in this context (i.e., people who are healthy).

Some of those things are pretty basic:

  • They move often and a lot, in ways they enjoy
  • They eat more whole foods in moderate amounts
  • They sleep well
  • They have ways to manage their stress

The hard part, of course, is actually developing these practices. But one key to becoming a “person like this” is to get involved with those types of people. They will naturally rub off on you.

Culture and community might be a game-changer.

by Nathan Coumbe

Why would they do this?

There’s a line in Crucial Conversations worth memorizing:

“Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do what this person is doing?”

Most of our behaviors aren’t irrational. Some of them are unconscious, but people rarely do things for “bad” reasons.

Everyone sees themselves as the “good guy” in the story. This means they must be doing this action for a rational reason. It’s solving a problem for them. It’s in service to something they value.

And it might be completely and totally awful to a great many other people. But the first step in fixing something is to understand it.

You might not know why right away, but it’s worth sitting with the question. It might help you find the solution to irrationality.

by Nathan Coumbe

It’s not the tool, it’s the system

Or lack thereof.

You don’t need a better tool. You need a better system. Or you need a clearer outcome.

You think the next new software will solve your work overload. But the reality is that only good workflows that you design for yourself can do that. Software can’t help until you have that down.

You think that the next workout program or supplement will finally help you get a “ripped” body. However, neither of those matters if you don’t have a clear vision for what you actually want, or you can’t execute the boring and simple habits consistently over a long period.

It’s rarely the lack of the right tool that’s the problem anymore. Most of the time, it’s a lack of appropriate systems.