Tag / mississippi

by Nathan Coumbe

A solution to the homeless problem

I live in the Deep South—the “Bible Belt” as some call it. 

One of our quirks? We’re surrounded by churches. 

By most estimates, there are more than 9,100 in this state. That’s one church for every 330 Mississippians.

Many of them are huge. But what I’ve never understood is why they’re so big for seemingly no reason. 

They take up massive tracts of land. The enormous buildings themselves cost a fortune to light, heat, and cool. 

And 6 days a week, they sit almost entirely empty. 

Why not take a leaf out of the “Good Book” and use them for the public good when a service isn’t happening?

What if they became a shelter for the homeless? From the sweltering heat (we hit 104º a couple of weeks ago), pollution, and the elements?

What if they were a place to shower and eat? A staging ground for launching a job search?

My research has shown that some churches throughout the country already do this, but not many here in Mississippi. 

I’m no theologian, but I feel Jesus would approve.

For more daily musings like this, subscribe below:

by Nathan Coumbe

Mississippi elections are broken

Tuesday was the Mississippi Primary Election, and like a good citizen, I turned out to vote. 

I hate voting in primaries in this state. But this week, it was especially humiliating. 

As usual, I drove to the church, walked inside, and approached the table to check in. And like usual, I had to identify as either Democrat or Republican (even though I was hoping things might have changed).

Now, I’m a staunch independent and do not believe that either side is always right all the time. And in Mississippi, you are not required to register to vote as either one party or the other. You’re just registered to vote. 

But at the polls, they FORCE you to publicly declare your allegiance to one party or another. Out loud. Surrounded by a room full of people. Before you can get a ballot. 

Now, being a white man in the Deep South, I shocked almost everyone in the room by saying, “I guess Democrat.” The demeanor of the woman who was checking me in completely changed. The smile vanished, the friendly tone turned to ice. She handed me a ticket and said, “Over there,” pointing to a table at the back of the room.

I walked over with my ticket… and was informed they had no ballots. I was required to vote electronically. 

So here I am, already having lost my secret ballot (because everyone knows who you’re voting for if you say, “Democrat” as there’s only one option for each position). Now I had to stand in the spotlight with a group of other “self-proclaimed Democrats” with no privacy whatsoever. 

The voting machine was this huge, bright screen that had no coverings to keep your choices hidden. And you could feel the eyes on you and see heads shaking the whole time you were waiting. 

And because I had to cast my ballot electronically, while all the Republicans got to do theirs on paper (sitting at tables with privacy covers of course), I’m pretty sure my vote will get conveniently “lost.”

(I’m a little bitter, so maybe I’m wrong about this, but I’m venting). 

I don’t like being forced to vote on party lines. And no one should be forced to tell a group of total strangers which way they’re voting, whether they’re Democrat OR Republican. It’s no one else’s business. 

I know some people will say, “That’s not the point of the primary election. You have to pick one side or the other to get them to face off in the general election.” One, that’s not the point of this rant. And two, you shouldn’t EVER be forced to vote in black and white. But I digress.

The whole point of an election is to have a choice in who represents you and to make that choice secretly, privately, and safely. 

But do you really have a choice when you can only vote one way? And can you really feel safe during the process, especially as someone voting Democrat in a deeply red, über-Conservative state? Or as a Republican voting in a liberal one?

The point of this rant is to point out the evils in the system that exist to keep people from voting.

How many people turned away from the polls this week when they discovered they had to identify one way or the other? Republicans in the handful of mostly Democratic areas? Democrats in just about every part of this state? 

(You have to be one brave soul to declare yourself a “bleedin’ liberal” in a Deep South state like Mississippi.)

And, of course, independents like me who hate labels and hate having no real choice!

How many of them left the polls thinking, “Well, my vote didn’t count. Why did I even bother? Why should I come back at the general election? Or the next primary?”

Ask voters from other states—it doesn’t happen this way for them. And they are shocked when they find out this is how we do things here.

Regardless of your political leanings, you can’t honestly say that being forced to tell other people how you’re voting doesn’t feel just a little slimy. 

If that was the only change they made—a private way to get your (extremely limited) ballot rather than shouting it from the rooftops—that would be something. 

But the point, it seems, is to make voting uncomfortable, difficult, and frustrating. Because that lowers voter turnout. Which means nothing changes. 

The extreme people who shout the most, spread the most shit, and make people the angriest, are the ones who stay in power.  

Meanwhile, the moderates who want to get things done, who want to work across the aisle, who care about their PEOPLE rather than their CAREERS, are never heard from.

But again, that’s the point. Maintaining the status quo.

“You can have any color car you want,” Henry Ford once said of his Model T, “as long as it’s black.” 

I suppose we should change it here in Mississippi to, “as long as it’s red.”

(I genuinely don’t care what party you voted for—this isn’t right. If you want privacy and confidence in your vote, let me know. I’m working to figure out how, and to whom, to submit a petition to have this changed. I’ll need your signature.)

by Nathan Coumbe

Different People See Things Differently

I’m a native of Mississippi, but I traveled to California numerous times as a teenager. Having been born and raised in the Deep South, I’d grown up saying “Yes, sir!” or “No, ma’am!” my entire life. 

(For those of you not of the Deep South, “ma’am” is a contraction of the word “madam.” You know how us Southern folk like to throw a little twang into our speech). 

In our culture, it is considered polite to use these phrases, and the epitome of rudeness should you not. 

Then I traveled to California…

You’re Being Rude

On numerous occasions, people laughed at me for saying it. A friend of mine asked, “Is that something you just say in the South?” 

I replied, “Yes, we use ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ whenever we speak to our elders. Or those we consider to be in positions of authority.”

“Well,” she replied, “when you say it, it sounds like you’re being sarcastic…like you’re mocking my parents.” 

I was completely floored. It never occurred to me that I might be coming off as rude. On the contrary, I thought I was speaking with the utmost respect by using “sir” and “ma’am”. 

Why Did I Tell You That Story?

It’s quite simple: different people see things differently. 

If you travel to Spain, you are likely to be kissed on both cheeks as a form of greeting (at least before COVID-19). In the United States, our “bubbles” are too big for something like that. We’d consider that a severe violation of our personal space. 

In some countries, it’s considered incredibly rude to “clean your plate.” Why? Because the cook will think you didn’t get enough to eat. 

It seems bizarre, right? That’s because you see things differently. 

Consider these differences when interacting with different people. Especially when traveling to different places. Or when in close contact with people of different cultures. 

We All Have a Different Noise In Our Heads

Different people see things differently. Because of this, they interpret things differently. What may seem like an empathic gesture to one person might come across as uncaring by another. 

An advertisement might be funny and persuasive to one prospect and bawdy and offensive to another. 

You might create a work of art that one person ridicules unmercifully and another describes as “a masterpiece.”

When serving or communicating with different people, think whether or not your gesture will be well-received by the other person.

If not, change gestures or tactics. 

You could easily write it off. “That person is just being difficult and unreasonable.” Occasionally, that might be so. 

But you can’t do anything about that. All you can control is what you do.

And what you can do is treat different people differently.

Get daily insights into business, personal growth, and creativity.

Subscribe today.

by Nathan Coumbe

Be bad in public

Yesterday’s post talked about perfection getting in the way of your art. Today, I wanted to give a special thanks to John Cochran, Joey Panella, and Rebecca Smith for letting me get out of my own way.

When I was in my early twenties, I majored in Jazz Studies at the University of Southern Mississippi. My weapon of choice was the drum set, and I was pretty average.

I was learning from books, playing in jazz band rehearsals 3 days per week, and shedding in the practice room. Still, I was not great.

I wasn’t great because I had almost no experience.

For whatever reason, John, a guitarist, came to me and asked if I would be willing to play drums with him and the others in a weekly gig at a pub in Hattiesburg. I accepted.

It was not until I started playing 3 hours a day – not very well – every single Tuesday from 10pm-1am, in front of a live audience, that my skills as a musician truly started to develop. That was the experience I needed to truly begin developing as a musician. It was at that point that I began learning on what I needed to focus and develop, so that I would improve. And improve I did.

I say all of that to encourage you to do a few things:

  1. Be brave enough to practice, and suck, in public.
  2. Find a mentor or sponsor that will allow you to suck in public.
  3. Show up day after day whether you suck or not.

I’m not encouraging you to be bad at something for which you’ll never put in the effort to become excellent. I’m saying that you’ll have to be bad at something you want to do before you become good; it helps if you do it in public, and it really helps if someone supports you while you do it in public.

It’s the only way you will start learning what you need to learn.

Thanks John, Joey, and Rebecca.

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to get insights and ideas sent directly to your inbox each day.

Join 904 other subscribers