The question is not,”What do you want to do when you grow up?”
It’s, “Who do you want to be?”
How do you want to contribute?
What legacy do you want to leave when you’re gone?
It might be part of what you do for a living. It might not. More likely, it will be a whole-person approach to living.
Ask the right question and you’ll get a better answer.
“What do I want to do when I grow up?”
We have all asked, or been asked, this question.
But it’s the the wrong one—it has multiple answers that change much too often.
Instead, ask yourself : “who do I want to be?”
How do I want to contribute?
What legacy do I want to leave when I am gone?
It might be part of what you do for a living, but it might not.
More likely, you will approach everything you do in life—your job and your personal relationships—with a new sense of wholeness and possibility.
If we start by asking the wrong question, we will never get the right answer.
But if you ask the right question, you’ll at least be on the path to the right answer.
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Regardless of quarantines, social distancing, and other methods of protecting ourselves physically, we can still find ways to serve others.
Many of us will be mowing our lawns today. How difficult would it be to push the lawnmower over one yard and take care of your neighbor’s?
Perhaps you still have a job, but a friend of yours does not. Order groceries and have them delivered to her door (it’s even more fun if you keep it anonymous).
Cook a casserole for your mother, wrap it up, and leave it on the front porch.
Keep yourself and others safe, but still find ways to contribute to others.
Networking – the idea of surrounding yourself with lots of people who might be able to open doors for you and help you get jobs – is a terrible practice.
It sucks.
The premise is flawed; it goes against every notion and every principle of decency and humanity. To effectively network, it seems one must adopt the mindset of, “What can this person do for me? How can she connect me with the HR department at [insert famous company]? What resources can she offer me so that I can get better (more marketable and attractive to potential employers)?”
Take, take, take, take. It’s a very common practice in Social Networking – some will say, “Use [pick your Social Media poison] to grow as many potentially helpful connections as possible so that maybe one of them can help you get a job at a certain company.”
The selfish focus, the mindset of “me,” is horrid. What is worse: it often backfires and alienates those you are attempting to use for your own selfish gains.
You think these “connections” can’t read right through your message? You’re wrong.
I propose a new way to network – go on your LinkedIn profile and start going down the list of connections. For each one, ask yourself this question: “Can I make a contribution to this person today, and if so, how?”
One important note: this requires a paradigm shift – a genuine change in your way of thinking (here’s a post about paradigms). You cannot adopt this posture while thinking in the back of your mind, “How can I contribute in a way that will get me something later?” You haven’t actually changed anything about the process that way.
If you really want to test this out, find someone in your list of connections who truly cannot “do” anything for you, in the sense of making a connection, giving a recommendation, or helping you get a job. When you find this person, ask yourself what contribution you can make: maybe it’s a simple message of gratitude for something they posted; perhaps it’s asking how their business is performing during the current crisis.
It doesn’t have to be much – it only has to be genuine. Only you will know if your intentions are pure.
“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
–John F. Kennedy
JFK said it well, and the same message applies to networking.
Ask not what your connections can do for you; ask what you can do for your connections.
(I had to jump on the bandwagon and write one of these “20/20 vision” posts; I hope you will forgive me.)
I once had 20/20 vision in both eyes; a degenerative disorder in my right eye quickly reduced my vision to around 20/80. With glasses, I am able to see at approximately 20/40.
Speaking metaphorically, my 20/40 vision will probably serve me better than 20/20 ever would. Here’s why:
I could make all sorts of plans for 2020, and if I achieved them, you might consider me quite successful. But how would we truly know?
If I only look to the end of 2020, all that I accomplish this year might take me in the wrong direction. Only by looking further out, to 2040 and beyond, can I truly know if what I accomplish this year will matter long-term.
I have to determine what I want said about me on my 50th birthday, not my 30th. What will be important to me in 20 years? What are my principles and values I wish to live by? What is my mission? What achievements and contributions do I wish to have and make? If I die at 50, what do I want said about me at my funeral?
Having that 2020 vision is great; we should all strive to accomplish extraordinary things this year. Just make sure that you look out far enough, so that what you accomplish this year has meaning in 2040 and beyond.
Happy New Year, all.
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