Tag / 7 habits

by Nathan Coumbe

Wisdom and Mission

Life is like a tuning fork: when struck, the tuning fork resonates a true pitch, one that doesn’t alter as long as it rings. Each of us is like a musician in an orchestra: we must strive to tune ourselves to that tuning fork, the true pitch ringing in our lives.

How much effort do we expend trying to create our lives, our careers, our families, based on how others have succeeded? We strive to emulate other families – keeing up with the Joneses next door. We constantly research which careers pay the most or have the most advancement potential, hoping that the next job is the right fit.

It doesn’t work.

Each of us has unique characteristics and traits we were either born with or developed over time. Would not we be better served in trying to find things in the world that matched us, rather than attempting to mold ourselves into something “out there” in the world?

It would be like a musician seeing a tuning fork then creating his own, hoping that it was the right pitch but with no knowledge of the subject (himself). Were he to use it to tune his instrument, he would find that the pitch isn’t correct.

Your mission in life isn’t something you create; neither is wisdom. Victor Frankl said that we detect rather than invent our missions in life. It’s already there: you must simply align yourself with it, not strive to create it.

Wisdom isn’t created – you cannot make yourself wise. You must seek it out, finding it in others who have come before you, in scripture or great writing, and in your own experience of the world.

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life….Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” – Victor Frankl

Seek your mission; seek wisdom.

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to get updates delivered directly to your inbox.

Join 904 other subscribers
by Nathan Coumbe

Courage

What is courage? It is the same thing as bravery?

Courage might be doing something even when you are terrified.

It might also be one’s readiness for action when a situation demands it.

Either way, courage is a choice. It is the act of deciding to act when the need arises.

Be courageous. Choose to act.

by Nathan Coumbe

What would it take to replace you?

Think about your work and personal life for a moment.

What qualities and skills would your employer look for in a new hire were she attempting to replace you?

Be that person now.

What would your spouse, significant other, or children look for in a partner or role model if you weren’t around?

Be that person now.

Start.

Be the person others in your life want and need; you will become nearly impossible to replace.

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to recieve new posts as soon as they go live.

Join 904 other subscribers

by Nathan Coumbe

How do you ensure that you are pursuing your version of happiness?

You must define it.

What is it that you value? What principles do you want to guide your life?

Love? Kindness? Generosity? Education? Career?

What kind of person to you want to be?

Curious? Successful? Entrepreneurial? Intelligent? Understanding?

What do you want to do?

Write a book? Go skydiving? Play at Carnegie Hall?

What do you want to have?

A five-bedroom home? Two children? A golden retriever? A BMW?

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

Until you start defining your vision for your future, you cannot truly determine what your path to success will be.

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe to recieve updates as soon as they post.

Join 904 other subscribers

by Nathan Coumbe

Don’t wait to have – be!

There is a tendency to see a problem as being outside of oneself. The problem is “over there” or “with that person.” Sadly, there is nothing you can do about “that over there” or your idiot coworker Bob.

If you start to think the problem is ‘out there,’ stop yourself. That thought is the problem.” – Stephen R. Covey

If you wait to have enough time to exercise, you’ll never have it.

If you wait to have a more loving and understanding spouse, he never will be.

If you wait to have an advanced degree before you start trying to teach other people, you will likely fail to ever start teaching.

Instead of waiting to have something that will miraculously fix your problem, be the person who already has it.

If you want to have time to exercise, be the person who blocks out ten minutes three times a week to do a quick strength training session.

If you want a more loving and understanding spouse, be the kind of spouse who loves unconditionally, who listens to understand rather than to respond, criticize, or persuade to your way of thinking.

If you want to teach, be a teacher. Whatever you are currently learning, whether from a book, an online course, or a college curriculum, teach it to someone else. Write a blog post about it; have a conversation with a friend and try to explain the concept to her in a way that makes sense.

If you want to have marketing skills, be a person who spreads the word about something she cares about, someone who gets others involved.

The only way anything will ever change is if we, ourselves, grow. Be the change you want to see in the world, and the change will happen.

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to receive updates as soon as they post.

Join 904 other subscribers
by Nathan Coumbe

Natural consequences

You are free to do anything you want. You are not free to choose the consequences.

Every choice we make has a natural consequence associated with it. 

You can choose to eat McDonald’s three times a day (I’ve done this), but you cannot choose the consequences of this decision (I gained 40 pounds in a year, added 8 inches to my waist, and felt miserable most days). 

You can choose to put your finger on a hot stove (why would you?), but you cannot choose whether or not you get burned. The natural consequence is a burned finger.

When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other. – Stephen R. Covey

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to receive updates as soon as they post.

Join 904 other subscribers
by Nathan Coumbe

There is no such thing as bad weather…

Only inappropriate clothing.

If it’s raining outside, why would you get mad at the rain? What good does it do?

Put on a jacket; break out the rain boots; grab an umbrella. Don’t curse the rain.

Things are going to happen that are beyond your control. All you can control in those instances are your responses to them. 

You’re on vacation in Hawaii, and it’s raining outside…so curl up on the couch with a good book and a hot cup of tea. Or go outside in your bathing suit — you’re in Hawaii, for Pete’s sake.

A politician you don’t like is voted into office…so go vote next time. 

You burn your hand while taking dinner out of the oven, and dinner crashes to the floor. You could kick the oven (that’ll teach it to burn you!), curse, scream, and tell everyone that the evening is ruined. Or you could run your hand under some cold water, put aloe on the burn, and order pizza while laughing at your clumsiness. 

Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes things happen that you wish didn’t. 

You can’t change or manipulate the events. It’s a waste of energy. 

You can only change yourself.

Spend your energy wisely. 

Don’t miss a thing! Subscribe below to receive updates as soon as they post.

Join 904 other subscribers
by Nathan Coumbe

Proactivity and resilience go hand in hand

Resilience is the ability to rebound from challenges, setbacks, and crises. When something happens, a resilient person is seemingly less affected by the event than a non-resilient person (not true). 

Is someone born resilient? Doubtful. 

Resiliency is a skill; it can be practiced and improved. It can be practiced by consciously choosing how to respond to a challenge, setback, or crisis. The effects of the event may indeed be negative: they might be seriously damaging to mind, body, or spirit. But that most fundamental human right, that of proactivity and the ability to choose, cannot be taken away by a negative event. 

Resiliency, therefore, is practicing proactive responses in the face of negative events. It can mitigate the long-term effects of a difficult situation.

Is it easy? Of course not.

Is it necessary? More than ever. It will make you stronger.

Choose how you respond; become more resilient.

by Nathan Coumbe

Your lens determines your reality

Imagine you are looking through a telescope. Is what you are seeing actually how the world looks?

What if the lens had a crack in it? The image is now distorted, but is reality actually cracked? Of course not.

Imagine a friend is looking through another telescope, and you are are both looking at the same thing. What if her lens had a higher zoom or some filter on it which changed the color? Or perhaps your friend has a degenerative eye disorder which makes it difficult to see. 

Would the two of you disagree on what you were seeing? 

Yet we do it every single day.

Each of us walks around using different lenses to see the world. Two perfectly rational people can look at the same issue and have completely different opinions about the “reality” of the issue. Stephen Covey would call these lenses paradigms — different ways of seeing the world. 

Why does this matter?

We can only become truly effective when we realize that our ideas and opinions are not the only ways, the correct ways, to see the world. Seth Godin talks about each person having her own unique noise in her head. What she wants is different from what you want, at least in some minuscule way. Sometimes that way is vastly different from yours. 

If, for example, you wanted to sell something to someone – an idea, a widget, or a plan – you would need to talk about it from the other person’s point of view. That person doesn’t care how you feel about it; they only want to know what it will do for them. We are selfish that way.

Be proactive when speaking with someone: consciously try to see the world through her lens.

Imagine a world where each person sought to understand the other person before arguing.

by Nathan Coumbe

The one book I wish I had read before college…

I have decided that this blog will be dedicated to helping others live a more effective, curious, and creative life. To that end, I believe we should start with basic and universal principles of living a good life. There is one book I wish I had read before I began college: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr. Stephen R. Covey.

I first read the book when I was a junior at the University of Southern Mississippi, but I did not take it seriously. I simply believed I had more important obligations. Little did I know that had I practiced the fundamental principles contained within the book, I would have achieved more than I could have dreamed at 24 years old.

These are the seven habits:

  1. Be proactive.
  2. Begin with the end in mind.
  3. Put first things first.
  4. Think win-win.
  5. Seek first to understand, then be understood.
  6. Synergize.
  7. Sharpen the saw.

I will be exploring these in-depth in future posts. I hope that you will be inspired to live a more effective life as you follow along.