by Nathan Coumbe

What are you REALLY hungry for?

Ever find yourself staring into the harsh glow of the refrigerator when you know you aren’t hungry?

Or digging through the cabinets, hoping one of those rustling foil bags will “hit the spot”?

If you’re human, the answer to both questions is, “yes.”

When you do this, you might be eating because you’re hungry for something else. 

Us humans often eat when we’re feeling stressed, unfulfilled, upset, or angry. We also do it as a form of procrastination: often a tough project at work is too overwhelming to consider. So we put it off by eating. (This is a big one for me…)

If you can resonate with this, fret not. You’re totally normal. 

I used to eat (a lot) because it was the only thing that was bringing me any pleasure at times. 

Work sucked—not only was it exhausting, but it was incredibly dull and unfulfilling. I wasn’t doing something that was meaningful to me, so I ate… just to feel something.

I also had no hobbies (other than watching Netflix). After college, I went to work full-time on a 9-to-5 schedule. And for some reason, I decided to give up every satisfying, joy-bringing, fulfilling hobby that I had. 

There were other things missing in my life too… Holes that weren’t being filled.

All I could do (so I thought) was fill it with food. It was the only “hobby” I had.

Of course, this wasn’t good for my health. I gained a massive amount of weight, put a dozen inches on my waist, and developed injuries usually only suffered by folks in their 70s.

Any of this sound familiar?

Using food as a coping mechanism is very common. It’s solving a problem for you right now, even if it might cause other problems later. And that’s okay—don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. 

If you’re ready, willing, and able, the first step is to build awareness. Not to change anything, mind you. Just become aware of what’s going on a little deeper below the surface. 

You can start by enacting a simple practice.

Whenever you feel a craving for something…

Whenever you’re contemplating a task at work, then walk to the fridge instead…

Pause for just a moment and ask yourself: “what am I really hungry for?”

  • Is it affection? 
  • Sunlight or fresh air?
  • Dancing? Music? Some other hobby you’ve always dreamed of?
  • Validation?
  • Connecting with a friend or loved one?
  • A job better aligned with your skills?
  • Sex? (You have no idea how often we all substitute food for this one 😬)

Once you pause and think about this for a moment, go ahead and have that snack. And enjoy the hell out of it!

For now, all you need to do is recognize what’s really going on—what’s missing.

Then, if and when you’re ready, go take care of that craving you’re really hungering for. 

by Nathan Coumbe

Give the people what they want

But what happens when what we want isn’t good for us? Or downright harmful?

One example I thought of comes from the food world. 

Many of our favorite things—Girl Scout Thin Mints, potato chips, Coca-Cola, Reese’s Cups—were engineered in a lab by a bunch of guys in white coats for one purpose. To be hyperpalatable—hitting our taste buds in all the right ways to make us eat more, crave more, and buy more. 

The problem is this: these things are designed to be easy to eat in massive quantities and to play on the chemical reactions in our brains to make us want them more and more all the time!

Now, they would argue that they’re just “giving people what they want”. Meeting market demand. And there’s some truth to that. 

If they suddenly went back to using more natural, rather than chemical, ingredients, customers would notice. We’d hate it… and probably get REALLY upset with these companies too.

 If they made them less cravable, crunchable, salty, delicious—they would be more like fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and other whole, mostly unprocessed foods. 

Now, those real foods taste great, but they don’t have the same impact on our taste buds and brains as do our packaged foods. There’s just no comparison. 

Which is why it’s hard to make the switch. An apple just doesn’t taste as good as a Thin Mint. (Believe me, I’m speaking from experience here). 

But again, the problem occurs when these things take over our lives, causing massive health issues like diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, and others. And we can’t stop ourselves because our brains are being played on directly—it all just tastes so damn good!

Now, I’m not saying the government needs to get involved in things like this. Or that people need to be told what and what not to eat. I’m simply asking a question:

How do we embrace a free market system, a “give the people what they want” system, when what we often want is terrible for us? 

Is there a good solution? Probably not. They all come with downsides, some of them quite severe. 

Such is life in the 21st Century.

***As an aside, let me be clear: there are no good foods and bad foods. Don’t put labels on your stuff like that. There’s no quicker way to drive yourself nuts than to do that. Think of your foods on a continuum from “Eat More” to “Eat Less”. 

Unless you like to eat dryer lint or chug anti-freeze, there probably isn’t anything you should put in a “Don’t Eat” category. 

The purpose of today’s post was more philosophical: an exercise in mindfulness on my part.

by Nathan Coumbe

What do I need to hear today?

You may have noticed by now, but…

Many of my blog posts probably seem like they’re written for me. 

That’s by design—this blog, more than anything, is a way to get my thoughts out of my head and into the world. And often, these thoughts are ones I wish someone had told me years ago. Or perhaps reminders of what’s important. Or what I need to pay attention to.

This isn’t uncommon. One of the greatest books of philosophy was never meant for publication. 

It was a journal that Marcus Aurelius wrote in every day to remind himself how to live. To practice what he was learning. To gird himself against the trials and tribulations of his time (and there were many). That book became Meditations.

St. Augustine also had a journal that became a book of wisdom. As did Ralph Waldo Emerson. Their musings became widespread, even though that wasn’t the goal. 

So maybe you should start a daily blog. Or a daily YouTube video. 

Not because you’ll get famous. Or because you’ll make a lot of money. (You probably won’t do either.) 

Do it to stretch that muscle of putting your ideas into the world. And maybe also to tell yourself what you need to hear.

Who knows? Maybe someone else will benefit from it too.

by Nathan Coumbe

A trick to help you better enjoy work

There’s one tiny thing you can do to drastically increase the enjoyment and satisfaction you get from work.

When you learn something new – whether it’s related to the “job“ or not – share or teach it to someone you work with. 

I once learned that a tiny practice we did at the office wasn’t just for fun or recognition. It also had real financial benefits to the company. 

Scared as I was to speak up, I shared it with my small three-man team…and discovered that my boss didn’t know about it. I was able to teach him something new.

Don’t assume just because someone’s been working somewhere longer than you that they know everything about “how things are around here“.

Be generous with your knowledge. It will only pay you back. 

by Nathan Coumbe

“I can’t eat fries, right?”

Do French fries and pizza have a place in a “healthy” diet?

Well, I’m sad to say…

They absolutely DO!

I’m sad to say it because I’ll get a ton of hate from people who disagree. Or tell me that’s irresponsible advice. 

But what’s truly irresponsible is causing people to deprive themselves and triggering disordered eating patterns. 

If you tell yourself you can’t eat something, that’s a surefire guarantee that you absolutely will eat it at some point in the near future. Often in extreme, and gastric-distressing, amounts. 

You should absolutely eat French fries. And pepperoni pizza. And chocolate ice cream.

AND…

You should also eat lots of:

  • lean protein
  • colorful fruits and veggies
  • Healthy fats
  • Slower-digesting, higher-fiber carbs

One of my favorite meals is a grilled chicken caesar salad… with a side of hot, delicious, salty, crispy fries (dipped in ketchup, of course). And I can be strong, healthy, and happy doing so. 

So there you go. You now have complete, unconditional permission to eat whatever you want. 

Now, there are ways to do it so that you still hit your physical health goals. But that’s a discussion for another day. 

As my coach, Scott Quick, likes to remind me: 

“For the love of God, order the fries!”

by Nathan Coumbe

No effect, no opinion

Everyone seems eager to tell others that what they’re doing is wrong. 

“Don’t you know that it’s better to pay the minimums on your debt and invest the rest?”

“Why are you still renting? You should have bought a house by now… You’re just throwing your money away!”

“You can’t possibly know what you’re talking about because it’s not your job.”

“You can’t marry that person—it’s totally immoral!”

Well, maybe there’s a method to the madness…

Maybe you want those payments gone so you have total control over your income.

Maybe you’re still renting because you don’t know where you want to live yet. Or you don’t have enough money to cover repairs if something major happened. Or—GASP— you want to pay cash for a house! And renting is just buying you time until you’re ready. How crazy is that?

Or maybe you know exactly what you’re talking about, and you understand THEIR point of view too. You simply don’t want to live the same way as them. 

Here’s a rule I think more of us should live by: 

Unless my behavior affects you, you don’t get to have an opinion about it.

And the magic of it? This works for everything.

If you don’t approve of gay marriage, then don’t do gay marriage yourself. But that doesn’t give you the right to dictate someone else’s lifestyle. Because their behavior doesn’t affect you.

If you want to live a debt-free lifestyle, other people don’t get to tell you you’re an idiot because “that’s just not normal.”

And if you don’t want to wear a helmet when driving on your motorcycle, you do you. Your behavior is only going to kill you…

On the other hand, you can’t smoke in a restaurant or movie theater. Because your behavior affects my health, safety, and well-being.

You can’t dump your toxic waste in our waterways… Because by definition, it’s communal—it belongs to (and affects) everyone.

And you can’t text and drive. “Well that’s just my behavior – you can’t tell me what to do.” Actually, yes I can. Because while you’re texting and driving, you might smash into me at 70 miles an hour. 

You might be fine, but I’d still be dead.

So, the next time you feel the need to tell someone how wrong they are, ask yourself:

Does their behavior affect me?

If it does, say something. 

If it doesn’t, keep your mouth shut.

(Unless they’re asking for your opinion, of course). 

by Nathan Coumbe

But do people care?

One of the keys to successful businesses and fulfilling careers is solving interesting problems.

Solving problems creates value, and value creates wealth.

But there’s a catch: other people have to care about the problem you solve. And they have to care enough about it to pay for it.

One of the first problems I solved for people was based in the music world. 

I knew people wanted to learn the drums. The problem was there wasn’t an easy-to-find drum teacher in the area. 

There were scores of drummers who taught, and I was nowhere near the best one. But… no one knew how to find them. 

So my solution was simple: I made business cards and left them on the counter at my local music store. And it worked: I got a lot of inquiries and a number of students. 

Another problem I wanted to solve (which I, at least, thought was interesting), was the massive littering issue at the park near my home. 

I had the idea to buy lots of cheap garbage cans and place them all over the park. In doing so, I thought I’d make “the garbage can is too far away” excuse moot. 

But I soon realized the idea wouldn’t work for one simple reason: no one else at the park cared about littering. It was the furthest thing from their minds.

Sure, I might have been able to persuade a few people through extensive marketing efforts (maybe), but it would truly have been a lost cause.

Finding a problem to solve is the first step. Next you have to figure out if other people care about it.

by Nathan Coumbe

Choose the harder path

No original thought from me today. Instead, a piece of wisdom I came across from Paul Graham:

“Start by picking a hard problem, and then at every decision point, take the harder choice.

***

If you have two choices, choose the harder. If you’re trying to decide whether to go out running or sit home and watch TV, go running. Probably the reason this trick works so well is that when you have two choices and one is harder, the only reason you’re even considering the other is laziness. You know in the back of your mind what’s the right thing to do, and this trick merely forces you to acknowledge it.”

Choose the harder option and watch your quality of life explode.

by Nathan Coumbe

3 meaningful moments

One of my coaches taught me a new exercise this week, and I felt I should share it far and wide.

It’s called the “3 meaningful moments” exercise.

The gist is to think back on 3 different moments from major periods in your life—childhood, adolescence, and adulthood—then write about them in detail.

Once you have this done, you are to distill your experiences into a single word that ties the threads together.

I’ve included my response to this exercise below

***

I was 9 years old, enrolled at an arts school in my city, and required to read a certain number of books each term to get Advanced Reader points. On a whim, I picked up a book that had a picture of a soldier on it— a “Dear America” book entitled The Journal of Scott Pendleton Collins, A World War 2 Soldier.

The opening scene described in graphic detail the D-Day landings at Normandy, France in 1944. From that moment forward, I was hooked on history.

I begged my mom (and she acquiesced) to take me to the library, which became almost a weekly occurrence, and read as many books (many of them well beyond what a 9 year old should have been reading) on that topic.

My interest soon spread out to encompass all of WWII and then history in general. Eventually, my bookshelf at home was FULL of books on just about every topic imaginable, and my library has only grown since then.

When I was 14, my parents bought for me a bass guitar. I’d been studying violin and piano from the age of 7, so I was not without musical skill. But I proceeded to teach myself how to play the bass.

Then I picked up my mom’s acoustic guitar, and taught myself that too. My brother got a set of drums, and I picked up the sticks and taught myself that as well.

That became my focus—I was decent at everything else, but I focused on drums for the next 10 years, taking lessons and eventually getting a bachelor’s degree in jazz studies with an emphasis in percussion.

Giving me that first instrument led me on a journey through every type of music imaginable, and taught me extremely valuable skills such as deliberate practice, diligence, patience, listening, empathy, and more.

At 27, I’d been working for Apple for about a year, when I was offered the chance to become a Creative. In that role, I served as a teacher, workshop facilitator, troubleshooting expert for customers, and a coach of sorts for employees on how to use all our technology.

This was the first time I’d been working when I felt that feeling of flow. Teaching came more naturally to me than just about anything else. Being in front of a group of people, helping them learn and master new skills—this felt more natural than just about anything else I’d ever done before.

And I was GOOD at it.

I had regular customers who’d wait and wait for my classes just so they could work with me. And I learned so many skills: how to sell, how to speak in public, how to present, adapt teaching styles on the fly. And I loved what I did.

Not only was I good at it, but it gave me the chance to learn so many new skills—drawing, computer coding and programming, music production, photography, videography, and all-around creativity. The only reason I left that job was because I wasn’t making enough money to support my family while doing it.

I’m trying to think of a word that ties all of these threads together. “Learning” is the first one that comes to mind. But then “curiosity” came to me. And that feels right at the moment. I truly think curiosity has defined my life and been the underlying reason for both my insatiable desire to learn new things, but also my ability to become proficient at so many disparate things as well.

***

If you have the time and desire, I’d love to hear about your “3 meaningful moments” in the comments below.

by Nathan Coumbe

Making a GOOD living

Most of us read that phrase and think it means “earning a lot of money so we can buy nice things, go to fun places, and have a life of ease.”

But what if we took it literally?

Maybe it means making good things to make others’ lives better. Or perhaps making “good” (the concept) part of your life and modeling that to others. 

Maybe it just means making the world a good place. After all, we do live here.

Work is how we express our gifts, our skills, our selves. It’s how we contribute to society. Hopefully doing well at our work will let us be compensated well (while also allowing us to both enjoy our time here and be generous blessings to others). 

But I don’t really think money has much to do with good living. At least not after a certain point.

That’s my definition. What does “making a good living” mean to you?