Hedonic Happiness: Happiness that comes from the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Eudaemonic Happiness: Happiness that comes from living a meaningful life.
You say you want one, but do your actions speak otherwise?
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Children flourish if parents reward their efforts rather than outcomes.
Annie Duke’s decision-making education makes it clear that good decisions don’t always result in good outcomes. All decisions involve luck to a certain degree, so neither we nor our children can control how things might turn out.
Sometimes, a good decision leads to a bad outcome, and other times, a bad decision leads to a good outcome. This means we must reinforce good decision-making first and foremost, not just praise decisions that lead to results we like.
This is not to say that all children deserve a participation trophy. It means that we should appropriately reward good effort (i.e., good decisions) and discourage bad decisions, even if they lead to a positive outcome.
The “how” of achievement matters as much, if not more, than the “what.”
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Modern science texts tell high school students that they must first formulate a hypothesis and then conduct experiments to determine whether or not that hypothesis is true.
But that’s the opposite of what Charles Darwin did. He didn’t start out with a developed idea for the theory of natural selection. When he set out aboard the S.S. Beagle and traveled to the Galapagos Islands, he had no hypothesis.
Instead, Darwin set out to observe and collect notes and ideas.
The accumulation of these observations, learnings, ideas, and notes led to the formulation of a hypothesis and the subsequent development of the theory. He worked from the ground up, not from a hypothesis backward, like the “slip box” note-taking approach explained by Sönke Ahrens in How to Take Smart Notes.*
Cal Newport’s advice in So Good They Can’t Ignore You seems similar in this regard. Common career advice is to find something you’re “passionate” about and find a way to make that passion fit a job or career. But he argues the opposite—passion comes after someone develops experience in a job, skill, or career path. It’s not the catalyst (at least not in most cases).
One could argue that the “Slip Box” approach taken by researchers and scientists—gathering lots of ideas first, then developing an argument—would similarly benefit career planning.
Don’t start with a predetermined passion or career path. Instead, begin with exploration, discovery, and experimentation.
The result will be a fully fleshed-out and rewarding career with passion as the byproduct.
*Ahrens’s book is one of my favorites and directly responsible for my ability to write as much as I do.
The premise is simple to understand: collect ideas and write notes to yourself about your thoughts when reading, studying, or observing without worrying about “what it’s for. Over time, you’ll have collected so many ideas and come up with so many original ideas that different arguments and hypotheses will form almost of their own accord.
Atomic Habits by James Clear consistently tops every bestseller list.
And for good reason: if you follow the ideas, you’ll improve your habits. Improve your habits, and you improve your days. Improve your days, and you improve your life.
What’s the saying? “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”
Emerson definitely said it better than I. But it means the same thing: your daily habits lead to your lasting legacy.
Which brings me to an idea I presented to someone the other day.
A friend told me he wanted to write. And he’d considered going the “Stephen King” route, writing 2,000 words a day, but he seemed daunted by that prospect.
I agreed. That’s a lot to commit to at the beginning. So I suggested he go the Atomic Habits route instead.
What’s the smallest version of that habit he could reasonably commit to?
My idea: write one sentence every day. Then don’t break the streak.
I find it hard to believe that anyone reading this can’t come up with at least one original thought every day.
It doesn’t have to be brilliant. In fact, I guarantee that 50% of your ideas will be “below average.” But so what? Half my blog posts are below average—that’s the definition!
It doesn’t have to be brilliant—it just has to exist! Do that for 30 days, and the 31st sentence will be infinitely better than the 1st one.
A writer writes. So be a writer and start writing!
I often ask (and I’m sure you do too) why all these brilliant “bad guys” in the world don’t put their skills to use for good?
Oddly enough, I found an answer in an unlikely (or, depending on your worldview, very likely) place: investing.
Scott Galloway, in his book The Algebra of Wealth, discusses the ratios of risk to reward in the stock market. For many high-risk investments, the reward is outrageous, but the risk is destructive.
So the obvious answer to the question is that bad guys make more money via crime than if they put those same skills to use for a legitimate employer.
They have massive potential upside, potentially millions of dollars.
But the downside is worse than what most are willing to pay: risking lengthy prison sentences isn’t appealing to most people who would also love to make $50 million in a few hours. But for a select few, it’s the lifestyle they want.
So, you probably already knew this, but some things are worth putting into words.
It is pursued and obtained indirectly by doing things—consistently, deliberately, and long-term—that may not always be physically enjoyable in the moment but inevitably result in a feeling of happiness.
Instead of trying to will happiness into existence, focus on the conditions that bring about happiness—sound mind, healthy body, meaningful work, deep relationships—and perhaps it will emerge. —Clay Skipper
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Instead of focusing on how risky something feels, focus instead on how generous you’re being.
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Pretend for a moment that you’re a coach and someone approached you with an issue.
How would you help them? What would Coach You tell that other person?
Now, with that same mindset, imagine that you are the client with the same problem. Why would you tell yourself anything different?
Be the same coach for yourself that you would be for others.
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The first way is the one we most often focus on: earn more money.
Get a higher-paying job to buy a nicer house, go out more, and live a life of luxury. In short, you want to earn more money to have the freedom and flexibility to live a better life.
But there’s an inverse to this idea: needing less.
Lower your expenses by moving into a smaller home, downgrading to one car, or making more meals at home. Decrease what you need money for, and you get the same effect: more freedom and flexibility, but with the money you already make.
One isn’t better than the other, but one might be easier to obtain.
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Here’s an idea:
Copy all the details from a job description on LinkedIn, then plug them into an AI (Claude is the best).
Then ask Claude, “Based on the information in this job posting, what can you tell me about the company and what I could expect from the role?“
You’d be surprised at how much you can glean from the answer.
Take it a step further: have Claude create a tailored resume specifically for this job based on your LinkedIn profile or a description of your work history. No need to spend hours on each job posting when your assistant can do it for you.
While you’re at it, why not ask Claude to help you decide what steps to take to ensure you’re a standout candidate for the role? He might suggest training, courses, or a certification you need to obtain for other roles like this.
You might even ask him to lay out a roadmap for engaging with people at the company, making connections and first contacts so that you aren’t just a faceless resume in the pile.
They are already using AI to screen everyone out without so much as a second thought. Why not use it yourself as your personal agent?
Movie stars have them; now so do you.
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