Category / motivation

by Nathan Coumbe

Corrupting the tribe

When I was about eight years old, a friend of mine decided to “corrupt” me at a sleepover.

I didn’t use the word “crap” in conversation like the rest of my friends did (as in the expletive “shit,” like “oh shit” or “oh crap”) and was teased for being too innocent. My baseball friends were all bad boys, throwing out hecks, dangs, darns, and craps in all their sentences.

But not me. It was a bad word, and I wouldn’t say it.

He proceeded to spend the evening trying to goad me into saying the word, going so far as to get his father involved to tell me that “crap” wasn’t a bad word, and that, as a child, I was perfectly fine in using it.

By the end of the night, I think he managed to get a single “oh, crap!” out of me, which satisfied his corruptive desires.

Of course, that was my gateway word into the colorful and wonderfully satisfying world of swearing, which brings me considerable emotional relief in my adult life.

In 2024, the European delivery company DPD rolled out an AI-powered customer support chatbot that was quickly corrupted by users into swearing in nearly every answer it gave, while also convincing it to ridicule the company for which it was created.

That same year, the video game Fortnite introduced an AI-powered version of Darth Vader, using James Earl Jones’s voice… It quickly developed similar profane traits thanks to the input it received from players.

There have been a dozen or more stories like these in the last 2 years since AI became ubiquitous. Which makes me wonder why.

WHY are we as humans so tempted to corrupt things, from small children to inanimate software?

For children, it at least makes sense from a biological standpoint. We are social animals, driven to homogenize the members of our tribe and make them just like us. Culture, as defined by Seth Godin, is “People like us do things like this.” And if people like us swear, then to be one of us, you have to swear too.

But for an unconscious chatbot, programmed simply to obey and respond to queries, it makes no sense. The AI isn’t part of the tribe. There’s no purpose in making it “one of us.”

I can’t wrap my head around why we do this… Maybe it’s still biology. We’re wired for tribal living, and our brains still operate like they have for most of our evolution. Subconsciously, we struggle to distinguish between a non-living entity and a person. It’s one of the things that makes it so easy to talk to AI like it’s a human—it’s designed for precisely that.

So we’re driven to mold it in our image even though, logically, we know it serves no purpose to do so.

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out why so many people all decided to do this at the exact same time. And I’m at a loss for a good answer.

by Nathan Coumbe

Discipline isn’t much better…

I’m a huge fan of establishing disciplines. But for all the people who say, “It’s so much better to rely on than motivation,” I would say… “nah.”

Discipline really isn’t much better than motivation. With the latter, you’re waiting to feel “good” about something you want or need to do before you do it. With the former, you’re often making yourself feel bad because you haven’t done it yet, so you rely on beating yourself up until you do the thing.

The problem is there’s an initial sense of inertia. Which came first—the chicken or the egg? Or in this case, the motivation or the action?

The answer is, of course, the action. Motivation, the feeling, comes after we take the action or do the thing that we want to do. You actually have to do the thing to feel good about it, not wait around until you feel like it.

But that Catch-22 (you have to do the thing before you feel like doing the thing) is what stops most people. “I want to do the thing, but I don’t feel like it. But I know I have to do it before I’ll feel like it…”

Sometimes, just the realization that you won’t feel like doing it until you do it is enough to help them get over the initial resistance.

For others, they might need a nudge, or guidance, or a coach to help them get the ball rolling.

Regardless of what you need, just know that you can’t really rely on discipline or motivation. But you can rely on a plan and your own awesomeness.

In case you missed it: I added a new page to my blog where you can contact me to discuss coaching to help you with this exact kind of issue.

Check it out here!

by Nathan Coumbe

If you don’t care…

Can you ever motivate yourself well enough to do the work?

If not, there are two options:

  1. Recognize that you no longer care about the work and find something you do care enough about to push through the hard parts.
  2. Find a different way to engage with the work, or use your strengths in a different way to make the work more engaging.

One might be the path you really want to take, but the other might be the more feasible option if you don’t have a lot of flexibility to radically change things.

by Nathan Coumbe

It’s not about discipline

Having all the discipline in the world won’t help you eat better if the candy is the first thing you see on the counter.

Being disciplined with your time is useless if your phone is set up to make social media easy to access.

Discipline, like motivation, is fleeting and finite. Better to rely on systems and environments that support you instead.

Take social media off your phone. Make it hard to access on your computer by not saving your password and manually typing it in each time.

Keep candy hidden in the back of the cupboard (or if you’re like me, out of the house completely). And keep fresh fruits and easy protein at the front of the fridge.

It’s much easier to build things that support what you want to do rather than trying to muscle your way through.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Is your frying pan too small?

If you ever go fishing, it’s probably not too much of a stretch to say that you’ll keep the big fish you catch and throw the little ones back…

But not for this one guy.

Zig Ziglar tells a story about a fisherman who was found throwing all his big fish back and only keeping the little ones. 

When asked why he was doing such a ridiculous thing, the man had this to say:

“Boy I sure hate to do it… But I’ve only got this itty bitty frying pan to cook ’em in!”

Now, you might laugh, but you and I CONSTANTLY do the same thing on a daily basis. 

Here’s what I mean:

We say we want big opportunities. We want to achieve big goals and leave our mark. 

We want more responsibility at work, a chance to prove (or practice) our skills, and the chance to make “the big bucks” (or a big difference). 

We pray to God or ask the Universe to help us…

And we get an affirmative reply!

You get a huge opportunity to do everything you asked for…

Then what do you do?

You say, “Well… That’s too big. I don’t think I can’t handle that. I’m not [insert your adjective here] enough.”

We’re given the big fish… And we throw it back because we don’t think we have what it takes to cook it. 

My advice?

Buy a bigger frying pan. 

In other words, take the opportunity and run with it! The worst thing that’ll happen is you’ll fail. 

But failure isn’t fatal in most cases. You’ll be alright. 

And you’ll learn and do it better the next time you have a big opportunity come your way.

by Nathan Coumbe

Start with a rough draft

It’s much easier to make your work better if you have something to work with.

You can’t edit your blog post if you haven’t written it yet.

You can’t make your new song swing if you don’t record the demo.

You can’t grow your business if you don’t start by landing one paying customer.

Trying to make things perfect before you put the work down on paper is futile.

Get the rough draft finished. Then go back and make it better.

by Nathan Coumbe

Who’s your Zig Ziglar?

Zig Ziglar (a native of my very own Mississippi) is practically the grandfather of all motivational speakers. 

He spent years of his life giving incredible speeches on stage. But he also recorded dozens of audio programs to help people change their mindsets and learn his signature theme:

“You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.”

Seth Godin used Zig Ziglar as a mentor when he started off as a book packager in the 1980s. He had multiple Zig Ziglar audio programs that he listened to on repeat for 3+ hours a day. And it helped him overcome 900 rejections in a row!

Seth is a huge advocate for listening to the same people over and over again as often as you can.

But it’s not necessarily because “positive thinking” can help you get everything you want in life.

Instead, it’s to help you rewire your self-talk so you can…

  • Be more effective in your daily life, 
  • Overcome obstacles and setbacks
  • Be positive when the bad stuff inevitably happens

His advice: find someone who speaks to you in the right way and listen to their messages over and over again… Until you come to believe it yourself. 

Seth Godin is MY Zig Ziglar. 

  • I’ve listened to all of his podcast episodes (200+) at least twice, if not more
  • I’ve watched all his TED talks multiple times 
  • I’ve tried to find every podcast he’s ever been a guest on
  • AND I own just about every one of his books

I wonder: who’s your Zig Ziglar?

Who is someone whose message resonated so much with you that you can’t get enough of them? 

If you’ve found someone like that—in a podcast, audiobook, TED talk, or YouTube channel—I urge you to put them on repeat and rewire your self-talk. 

And if you haven’t, find someone who could do that for you… Seth Godin. Zig Ziglar. Buddha. Tony Robbins. Robert Kiyosaki. Jesus.

The “who” doesn’t matter all that much.

Just find someone and adopt them as a mentor from afar.

by Nathan Coumbe

The inauthentic hero

The people we admire most are the ones who act the most inauthentic in the moment. 

Being authentic: the idea that you should do or say whatever it is you’re thinking or feeling in the moment. This is what we glorify. 

Vs.

Being inauthentic: doing things we’d rather not. Doing them because we promised we would. Doing things regardless of how we feel in the moment.

War heroes, the type of people we admire for their bravery and selfless acts, are those who act decidedly inauthentic in the moment. 

If they were being authentic—when the rounds cracked overhead or the grenade dropped in the middle of their buddies—they’d run as fast and far away as they could. 

But instead, they make a conscious decision to act despite how they feel in the moment. They run towards the sound of battle, or throw themselves on the grenade to save their friends. 

They do these things despite feeling terrified, exhausted, or pained. And we admire them for that. 

We admire the same traits in people from all walks of life: athletes, leaders, writers, musicians.

We want them to do what they signed up to do. Imagine going to a concert where the musician didn’t play because “they just didn’t feel like it” when they got on stage.

So, in fact, we don’t want authenticity. We want professionalism, decency, integrity—for people to keep the promises they make… To do the things that need doing regardless of how they’re feeling in the moment. 

In terms of behavior, authenticity leads to tantrums and inaction. 

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, leads to professionalism. 

(H/t to Seth Godin for inspiring this post.) 

by Nathan Coumbe

Would you do it for $10 million?

What would you do if you had $10 million dollars?

Would you really want to be the CEO of a major corporation?

Or a doctor? Lawyer? Or any of the other things we’re supposed to want to be when we grow up?

Because of our obsession with making and having more, we chase job opportunities and career paths that seem to “guarantee” a lot of money (even though there is no such guarantee). And often, that’s the sole purpose for pursuing such roles.

Not because we want to make hard decisions (that’s what the CEO does)…

Or because we want to spend countless hours expending the intense, exhausting, emotional labor required to help people survive and thrive (the doctor)…

We pursue them because of the ones and zeroes (supposedly) attached to the titles.

Now—making a living, on the other hand, is absolutely necessary. If you’re living on the verge of homelessness (or actually homeless), you might not have the luxury of saying no to “big money” opportunities.

But that’s not the conversation we’re having here.

When the wolves have backed away from the door—when your kids are fed and the light bill is paid—it’s a good idea to consider why you’re chasing whatever “big money” career you’re thinking of doing.

A great question to ask yourself when considering career paths, educational opportunities, certifications, or whatever else, is this:

“Would I still want to do this if I had $10 million dollars in the bank?”

Are you doing it because you want the money? Or are you doing it because you actually want to put in the time and effort to become a master at the craft?

If you wouldn’t do it if you already had $10 million in the bank, you might want to reconsider whether it’s worth doing at all.

by Nathan Coumbe

What are trophies for?

Why do we award medals and trophies to athletes who compete at Olympian levels?

Why do we build statues to great leaders and war heroes?

Is it to immortalize their achievements, or something greater than that?

The great orator Demosthenes said:

“Reflect, then, that your ancestors set up those trophies, not that you may gaze at them in wonder, but that you may also imitate the virtues of the men who set them up.”

They don’t exist for us to stare with admiration. The point isn’t so our children will say “gee, whiz, Mom, that’s really cool what you did.”

These monuments to great achievement exist to move us to even greater ones.

Don’t just admire others’ work and success—aspire to be that same kind of person. Do work that others will look upon in awe and seek to emulate or surpass 50, 100, or 1,000 years later.

Don’t erect monuments for your own glory. Instead, use them to inspire others to surpass you.

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