Category / happiness

by Nathan Coumbe

The first thing to do when you get laid off…

I lost my job yesterday – nothing to do with me. Something happened with the company, and I was one of the casualties.

There’s nothing I can do about it but to accept the reality of the situation and figure out how I’ll respond, rather than react, to this setback.

And the first thing I did?

I went for a walk.

Even though I really didn’t want to. I did it anyway – and I felt better for it.

When something like this happens, the best thing you can do is to get in some movement. Any form of exercise will do:

  • A long walk
  • A few laps at the pool
  • A great strength session

Get the heart pumping, the blood flowing to your brain, and the endorphins storming throughout your body.

There’s another thing you need to do, too—take your daily dose of motivational vitamins.

I love to listen to Seth Godin and Zig Ziglar on a daily basis – the same messages over and over again until I can repeat them verbatim. Why?

Because when I start repeating what they say—when I can finish their sentences—it means I’ve changed the way I talk to myself. Their messages of hope and success become my thoughts on the same topics.

So, if you’re about to lose (or already have lost) your job, take these two steps immediately.

  1. Get in some exercise (and do something physical EVERY SINGLE DAY)
  2. Take your daily motivational vitamin

By the way, here are two great recommendations from Seth & Zig to get you started:

P.S. Check out my cute little video talking about this very topic.

by Nathan Coumbe

Create a reality from which you don’t want to escape

I can’t remember where I first heard something similar to that headline (it may have been Seth Godin…)

But the idea occurred to me that so much of what we do is an attempt to get away from our daily lives…

People do drugs or drink to numbness to escape reality…

They take vacations to get away from work or family or just about anything else…

And those moments just become these little blips of happiness on the radar. Not even happiness, really, but bursts of pleasure… 

But contrary to popular belief, pleasure and happiness aren’t the same thing.

I think the key to good living is this:

Create a reality from which you don’t want to escape. 

Easier said than done, I know. And plenty of people have real horrors they need to escape from (I know from way too much personal experience). 

But few of us rarely sit down for a few quiet minutes and take the time to think about what that reality would be. 

I’d encourage you to take a few minutes now— with pen in hand and a few pieces of paper—and write out any- and everything that comes to mind about the lifestyle from which you wouldn’t want to escape. 

Then ask yourself what the first step would be on the way to making that reality real.

Because no one else is going to make that reality for you. You’ve got to do the work yourself.

And it’s sad, but true, that you might be at a severe disadvantage compared to others due to things that are completely out of your control—or shouldn’t even matter. 

But that doesn’t change what YOU have to do to get what you want.

by Nathan Coumbe

You will be unhappy…

Anyone who thinks they can be happy every second of every day for their entire lives…

They’re setting themselves up for a lifetime of disappointment. 

Things won’t work out like they’re supposed to.

You’ll lose a job, a pet… Or a loved one.

It’s better to strive for happiness in as many moments as you can while expecting to have disappointments, setbacks, and heartache. 

Don’t delude yourself into thinking you can be happy all the time.

But at the same time, live an optimistic life. Expect things to work out in your favor and often, they will.

The Universe conspires to help us when we make the decision to act.

by Nathan Coumbe

Life is a miniseries, not a one-off movie

Most of us feel like we’re living out the movie of our life with expectation of some grand finale… A giant dance number at the end to celebrate all we’ve done or accomplished.

But at the end of the movie, don’t you feel just a little bit empty? A little lonelier because it’s finally over?

But life isn’t a movie. If anything, it’s more like a mini-series—multiple episodes and multiple seasons. And each one has its own stories, cliffhangers, and resolutions.

When you finish an episode of a mini-series, there’s anticipation and excitement for what comes next.

We should think about our lives in the same way.

When one story in life ends—when the credits start rolling—start working on a sequel immediately. Start filming the next episode or risk feeling lost.

by Nathan Coumbe

The weeds don’t need your help

If you leave a garden unattended, weeds will grow in abundance.

They do best when left alone. They don’t need any nurturing, nutrients, watering, or attention from you. They’ll grow just fine on their own.

But if you want a garden full of beautiful flowers or delicious fruits and vegetables, you must be intentional.

You must dig, plant, water, fertilize, nurture… And rip up the weeds by the root!

The same is true for the thoughts in your head, the story you’re telling yourself on a daily basis.

The negative thoughts are weeds.

“I can’t…”

“They won’t let me…”

“This won’t work…”

“I’ve failed before so why should I try again?”

“I’m not good enough…”

These thoughts will spring up naturally and strangle the garden of your mind if you sit idly. And they’ll take over without any action on your part.

So, just like with the garden in your backyard, you must be intentional and put in the difficult, caring work. Rip out the weedy thoughts by the roots. Replace them with the good stuff, whatever that is for you.

Positive mental attitudes, affirmations, visualizations… Or my favorite: someone else’s encouraging words playing on repeat in your head. (I’d recommend starting here.)

Whatever you want to grow in your mind, treat it with the same care and attention you would with a beautiful garden of your own.

by Nathan Coumbe

Would you do it for $10 million?

What would you do if you had $10 million dollars?

Would you really want to be the CEO of a major corporation?

Or a doctor? Lawyer? Or any of the other things we’re supposed to want to be when we grow up?

Because of our obsession with making and having more, we chase job opportunities and career paths that seem to “guarantee” a lot of money (even though there is no such guarantee). And often, that’s the sole purpose for pursuing such roles.

Not because we want to make hard decisions (that’s what the CEO does)…

Or because we want to spend countless hours expending the intense, exhausting, emotional labor required to help people survive and thrive (the doctor)…

We pursue them because of the ones and zeroes (supposedly) attached to the titles.

Now—making a living, on the other hand, is absolutely necessary. If you’re living on the verge of homelessness (or actually homeless), you might not have the luxury of saying no to “big money” opportunities.

But that’s not the conversation we’re having here.

When the wolves have backed away from the door—when your kids are fed and the light bill is paid—it’s a good idea to consider why you’re chasing whatever “big money” career you’re thinking of doing.

A great question to ask yourself when considering career paths, educational opportunities, certifications, or whatever else, is this:

“Would I still want to do this if I had $10 million dollars in the bank?”

Are you doing it because you want the money? Or are you doing it because you actually want to put in the time and effort to become a master at the craft?

If you wouldn’t do it if you already had $10 million in the bank, you might want to reconsider whether it’s worth doing at all.

by Nathan Coumbe

Do What You Love… or Love What You Do?

Two quotes came to mind while I was walking and thinking this morning:

“It’s easier to love what you do than it is to do what you love.”

—Seth Godin

Then, of course, my brain went to Dan Miller:

“Passion is more developed than discovered.”

—Dan Miller

Happiness is easier to achieve when we enjoy what we do.

But it’s not always easy to create an income doing something we already enjoy.

It’s easier to find a reason to like what you’re already making a living doing than to try to create a business around a passion or hobby.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try—I’ve done it with lots of my passions.

Music…

History…

Personal development…

Philosophy…

But in nearly every case, depending on that passion to pay the bills robbed me of the very same enjoyment that drew me to it in the first place.

If you’re doing work that’s mind-numbing, agonizing, and completely without joy or merit, please find something else to do. This bundle will help you in your search.

But for many of us, we’re just spinning our wheels, trying to find ways to monetize a hobby. We’re telling ourselves we’ll never be happy until we’re working in this passion or that one.

If you think you can, try to find enjoyment in what you’re already doing. That’s one of the tenets of Zen, and it’s also a path to true happiness and contentment.

If you’ve read this and still feel it’s time to make a change in your career, I highly recommend you check out this career search bundle my coach Dan Miller created. It has everything you need to:

  • Discover your skills, passions, personality traits, and values
  • Learn a proven job hunt method guaranteed to land a better job with higher pay
  • Start your own business if that’s your path
  • Find a community of like-minded supporters to help you every step of the way

If it’s time for a change, Dan Miller can help you make it.

Click here to check it out.

by Nathan Coumbe

Lack of work might be making you unhappy…

Feeling unhappy? I can probably guess why…

You don’t have a project to work on.

“Prod any happy person, and you will find a project.“

—Richard Layard, economist

I don’t mean a project at work: one of those mindnumbing, agonizing, tedious, pointless tasks you’ve been given by your boss just to look busy.

I’m talking about something that matters: a project that makes you happy. A project that makes a difference. A project that changes someone else for the better.

Seth Godin would call that kind of project “art.” And it doesn’t have to be a painting, song, or movie. It just has to matter to you. 

And it helps if it makes the world a better place.

A quick way to find real happiness? Start working on a project.

(If you want to learn more about this argument, check out Layard’s book Happiness: Lessons from a New Science)

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