If we don’t know what we mean when we talk of fairness, we can’t make informed decisions on whether something is fair or not.
The first step is to set an agreed-upon expectation of what fairness means to the group.
Category / communication
Writing changes how we speak
I sent my mom a hilarious video the other day. One portion contained tons of Gen Z slang she didn’t understand.
Now, me being a millennial, I knew what it all meant (even though I don’t use it myself). She asked me to translate, so I did.
Now, as hysterical as this scenario sounds, it actually brought up a good point.
Members of Gen Z speak the way they text rather than texting the way they speak (which is what us “old folks” do).
Nearly everything said is a shorthand for something else… because it’s faster to type the slang or shorthand than it is to write out the word or sentence.
Now, even though my generation had AIM (that’s AOL Instant Messenger for you youngsters), Napster, MySpace, and the like, we never adopted shorthand as a way of speaking in person. I would argue that’s because only a small portion of our communication happened in shorthand using this technology.
We spent most of our time hanging out in real life, talking on the phone, chatting in class (and being punished for it). In short, most of our communication was through spoken, rather than written, word.
But since Gen Z was the first generation to grow up with the ubiquity of cell phones and social media (rather than having it introduced later in life like it was for Millennials), it’s completely changed the way they communicate.
A huge majority of their time is spent “writing” in the since that they are using written communication in some form.
Texting. Messaging. Making Reels and TikToks. Creating snippets of text on SnapChat.
Which brings me back to the original point of this post.
Language changes as writing changes, so writing changes how we speak.
It’s a fact of history: our vocabularies expanded exponentially because we started writing things down. And the more we wrote down, the more clarity we were able (and needed) to create about what we were trying to say.
So when you spend all day writing as your main form of communication, the spoken language changes to reflect your writing.
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Would you sign your name to it?
There’s an old saying among lawyers:
“If a man is willing to say it, he ought to be willing to put it on paper and sign his name beside it.”
There’s a great episode of “Parks and Recreation” where Ron Swanson gets a typewriter. He then proceeds to type letters to countless people with whom he takes issue.
And he signs his name at the bottom. Even better, when they confront him (in person), he stands by what he said in his letter.
Social media has given us anonymity and the seeming ability to comment (often cruelly and brutally) without fear of consequences. We say things we’d never have the courage to say to a person’s face.
So, the next time you plan on being an asshole in semi-public, ask yourself:
Would you sign your name to it? Would you be like Ron Swanson?
Freedom from consequences
Trevor Noah recently said something I feel very strongly about. I’m paraphrasing a bit:
“People who are pro-free speech [at all costs]…are only really pro-free speech about their speech that might offend other people.”
Or, I might add, that may be despicably untrue…then an algorithm picks it up and spreads it to gullible or ill-informed victims…
But here’s the thing: freedom of speech protects you against government intervention.
It doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole (or evil) without consequences.
It also doesn’t protect you from businesses, corporations, or individuals limiting what you say.
You can’t say “bomb” in an airport without being tackled by TSA agents.
You can’t tell a restaurant owner to “eat shit and die”—then expect to be allowed back in to eat.
You also can’t say terrible things to a person and force them to stick around and listen… At least not in the real world (but apparently we expect others to do just that online).
That’s not free speech.
Somehow we’ve conflated (incorrectly) the idea of “I can say whatever I want no matter what,” with part of the First Amendment of the US Constitution.
But:
Everything you say or do has consequences.
They might be good OR bad, but consequences of some sort will ensue regardless. That’s a natural law of the universe. And it’s immature to say or do something awful, then get upset when it has negative consequences for you.
This argument we’re having about what’s “allowed” to be said on the internet—it isn’t an argument about free speech.
Rather, it’s a conversation about actions and their consequences.
Our desire to avoid taking responsibility for those actions…and who determines what those consequences are.
You can do whatever you want…
You just can’t control the outcome of whatever you do.
“When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.”
—Stephen R. Covey
The only thing we have in common
There is exactly ONE THING that all human beings have in common with each other:
We are all completely different.
We all see things differently. We’ve all had different experiences, good and bad. We were born physically different. We were raised in different cultures.
And we’d be fools to believe this didn’t affect the decisions we make and the things we want.
Once we understand that, we can begin to work with each other to actually make things better.
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