Category / calling

by Nathan Coumbe

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

“What do I want to do when I grow up?”

We have all asked, or been asked, this question.

But it’s the the wrong one—it has multiple answers that change much too often.

Instead, ask yourself : “who do I want to be?”

How do I want to contribute?

What legacy do I want to leave when I am gone?

It might be part of what you do for a living, but it might not.

More likely, you will approach everything you do in life—your job and your personal relationships—with a new sense of wholeness and possibility.

If we start by asking the wrong question, we will never get the right answer.

But if you ask the right question, you’ll at least be on the path to the right answer.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Finding ideal work

“For 95% of people out there, finding something they pretty much like to do most of the time would be a 100% improvement. Shoot for that, and from there, fine-tune toward the ideal.”

–Peter Bowerman, The Well-Fed Writer

Each of us wants to find that dream job that hits every single point on our “ideal career cheat sheet.” So we read, listen, take tests, research, and obsess over and over again without actually ever stepping foot into a field or career to test it out for ourselves, especially if that career is freelancing, entrepreneurship, or any sort of work where you are your own boss.

Start with what you want

I’m learning each day what I want more than anything else is freedom and a better, more balanced lifestyle over some ideal dream job I can’t seem to figure out. That is why I’m exploring this freelance writing field. I’m a good writer (good enough), and I enjoy it well enough, and it would give me time and money to explore the other things I love in life–something my current situation doesn’t allow. I can’t say that I absolutely love every second of writing, every article I write, or every item I write about, but what I do love is the freedom.

My mentor, Dan Miller, has a saying: “passion is more developed than discovered.” Try something out and see if a passion for it, or some aspect of it, develops rather than waiting around for some ideal career to magically drop into your lap.

It’s a quest

I’m not saying “what the hell–just pick something,” but perhaps I am saying “MERELY pick something.” Take something you think you might enjoy well enough, try it out, and see if it gets you closer to your ideal situation. You won’t know until you actually experience it. Then it becomes a step on the ladder to your ideal “dream career.” It’s a process of discovery and exploration.

I don’t think this quest for dream work is a true-false test, and neither is life. Everything we do is more of an open-ended essay question you get to write yourself.

The trick is to start writing.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Successful people do ONE thing all the time

Successful people are normal. They have no superhuman abilities, no extreme discipline honed by years of meditation or special operations training. However, they do something the rest of us don’t always do:

They choose.

Successful people choose what is important to them; they choose to prioritize what is important throughout the day; and they choose to carry out those things regardless of feelings or external triggers.

You must plan to do the things that matter – the things that will get you where you want to go. These are the achievements, contributions, and attributes for which you want to be remembered at your funeral.

Before you can plan them, however, you must define them. How will you achieve what’s important if you don’t know what is important?

You won’t.

But even if you lay out what is important and plan your day accordingly, it will not matter unless you choose to carry out the items of importance. This is what separates successful people from the rest.

“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do….They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”

E.M. Gray – “The Common Denominator of Success”

Even if something is important, and you are aware of its importance, you will find times when you really don’t want to do it. You won’t want to exercise; you won’t want to read your kids to sleep after a long day at work. If you don’t, that’s fine. But you are making a choice based on feelings or circumstances, relinquishing control of your own life.

Every action you take or don’t is a choice. Choose to do the things that further your mission, rather than choosing to let other people, feelings, and circumstances choose for you.

Choose to be successful.

In summary

Define what really matters most to you.

Plan your days based around what is important.

And most importantly, choose to act regardless of how you feel, what other people do, or what is going on around you.

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by Nathan Coumbe

This one is just for me

(These are simply thoughts I needed to work out yesterday. Feel free to skip today’s post, as it is rather selfish. However, if you, for whatever reason, read all the way through this post, think about where all the signs in your life are pointing; ask yourself why you are hesitating going down the road.)

What do you do when all the signs are telling you to go a certain way? Why don’t you just go?

All the aptitude tests, interest assessments, and personal inventories tell you to go do this one thing, but still you hesitate.

Is it because you don’t know the next step to take? No, because you know the next step – get a graduate degree.

Is it because you don’t know the field in which to get the degree? Maybe…you do have trouble choosing between your varied interests.

Is it because of what you read and hear? Perhaps so.

“Professors don’t make a lot of money.”

“Most professors are adjuct, so they have work at multiple schools without receiving benefits from any of them.”

“Colleges are slowly dying – it’s hard to get a job at one, and it isn’t the most secure form of employment anymore. The cost of college is keeping people away, and the student loan crisis is going to cause all of them to fail.”

“You may be teaching in a field you love, but the students might not care about the material.”

“Half of the Ph.Ds out there are working in fields unrelated to their studies.”

Or perhaps it’s internal. Students are borrowing small fortunes without thinking to study things (or party but still somehow get the grade) that won’t guarantee them a stable job and a livable wage. That is something in which I cannot, in good conscience, involve myself.

Is it because you might have to stop working, taking a severe pay cut in order to attend?

Are you afraid you’ll fail? Perhaps you are worried you might get the degree, but you won’t be good enough/smart enough/talented enough/hard-working enough to be the best, which means you might not be sought out by the people who need the expertise you went to obtain.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Wisdom and Mission

Life is like a tuning fork: when struck, the tuning fork resonates a true pitch, one that doesn’t alter as long as it rings. Each of us is like a musician in an orchestra: we must strive to tune ourselves to that tuning fork, the true pitch ringing in our lives.

How much effort do we expend trying to create our lives, our careers, our families, based on how others have succeeded? We strive to emulate other families – keeing up with the Joneses next door. We constantly research which careers pay the most or have the most advancement potential, hoping that the next job is the right fit.

It doesn’t work.

Each of us has unique characteristics and traits we were either born with or developed over time. Would not we be better served in trying to find things in the world that matched us, rather than attempting to mold ourselves into something “out there” in the world?

It would be like a musician seeing a tuning fork then creating his own, hoping that it was the right pitch but with no knowledge of the subject (himself). Were he to use it to tune his instrument, he would find that the pitch isn’t correct.

Your mission in life isn’t something you create; neither is wisdom. Victor Frankl said that we detect rather than invent our missions in life. It’s already there: you must simply align yourself with it, not strive to create it.

Wisdom isn’t created – you cannot make yourself wise. You must seek it out, finding it in others who have come before you, in scripture or great writing, and in your own experience of the world.

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life….Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” – Victor Frankl

Seek your mission; seek wisdom.

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by Nathan Coumbe

2020 vision is great. 2040 vision might be better.

(I had to jump on the bandwagon and write one of these “20/20 vision” posts; I hope you will forgive me.)

I once had 20/20 vision in both eyes; a degenerative disorder in my right eye quickly reduced my vision to around 20/80. With glasses, I am able to see at approximately 20/40.

Speaking metaphorically, my 20/40 vision will probably serve me better than 20/20 ever would. Here’s why:

I could make all sorts of plans for 2020, and if I achieved them, you might consider me quite successful. But how would we truly know?

If I only look to the end of 2020, all that I accomplish this year might take me in the wrong direction. Only by looking further out, to 2040 and beyond, can I truly know if what I accomplish this year will matter long-term.

I have to determine what I want said about me on my 50th birthday, not my 30th. What will be important to me in 20 years? What are my principles and values I wish to live by? What is my mission? What achievements and contributions do I wish to have and make? If I die at 50, what do I want said about me at my funeral?

Having that 2020 vision is great; we should all strive to accomplish extraordinary things this year. Just make sure that you look out far enough, so that what you accomplish this year has meaning in 2040 and beyond.

Happy New Year, all.

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by Nathan Coumbe

How do you ensure that you are pursuing your version of happiness?

You must define it.

What is it that you value? What principles do you want to guide your life?

Love? Kindness? Generosity? Education? Career?

What kind of person to you want to be?

Curious? Successful? Entrepreneurial? Intelligent? Understanding?

What do you want to do?

Write a book? Go skydiving? Play at Carnegie Hall?

What do you want to have?

A five-bedroom home? Two children? A golden retriever? A BMW?

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

Until you start defining your vision for your future, you cannot truly determine what your path to success will be.

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by Nathan Coumbe

What is the art that is yours to do?

How do you identify it?

Seth Godin asked the question, “Where are the spots [in your personal/professional/creative life] in which you are most afraid?” 

Find the places and things you are afraid of, and determine why you are afraid of them. Then you can identify what you need to go work on.

“Begin with the thing that scares you.”

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by Nathan Coumbe

Show up because it’s the right thing to do

Show up.

Every single day.

Just do it. (Sorry Nike).

This may sound like I’m trying to get you to go crush it at the gym, but I am not.

Whatever you feel called to do, however you feel called to do it, it will not happen unless you show up and do the work.

That may mean writing blog posts every single day whether or not the muse speaks to you. It may mean coaching an employee even if it isn’t a requirement of your job. It might mean practicing your instrument or drawing a quick sketch, even if you don’t feel inspired or if you’ve drawn something like it ten times before.

Showing up, getting your idea out into the world, helping just one other person simply by being there…it isn’t just good for you – it’s the right thing to do.

You never know when your work will get noticed; you just have to keep producing.

Show up. Because it is right.

by Nathan Coumbe

Luck happens

Sometimes, it comes down to sheer luck.

You’re sitting in the right booth, reading the right book, and someone notices.

She comes over and asks what it is that you do; you proceed to tell her how you help people. Eyes light up, connections are made, recommendations are given to you about who else you can help with your craft.

What a lucky meeting!

And yet…if I hadn’t been working so diligently for months on my new endeavors, this lucky encounter never would have occurred. Had I been sitting in the booth watching Netflix, she would have walked right past me.

So yeah, luck happens, but it still pays to prepare and practice your craft so that you are ready when the lucky moments occur.

I’ll take slow, persistent effort sheer luck any day.