I have been working on my self-talk a lot recently, and a technique that I have found that really helps me get out of my own way is swapping out the word “but” for the word “and”. This idea came to me after reading a short, but very impactful, blog post by Scott Miller of FranklinCovey entitled “I Can’t Do That”.

How is “but” sabotaging us?

To illustrate the point of how this process can work, let me give you an example with which I am currently wrestling. I studied classical and jazz percussion in college, something that I absolutely loved and found great fulfillment in pursuing. Then I made some stupid decisions and am now currently without a drum set or anything other than a snare drum and some sticks. I would love to start another side hustle using my musical skills and abilities, but I have talked my way out of it many times without even trying. My normal thinking would be “I would love to start a business using my musical skills to teach and play the drums, BUT I don’t have an instrument other than a snare drum.” Well, there you have it – nothing can be done now. I’m stuck. There is no possible way for me to do anything with the skills or resources at my disposal.

Perhaps you already see how this works, but I will walk through it all the same. If I just change the word “but” to the word “and”, something magical happens. “I would love to start a business using my musical skills to teach and play the drums, AND I don’t have an instrument.” Now it is just a problem to solve rather than a brick wall preventing me from making any progress. I could easily follow it up with “so…[insert solution to problem]”, and I have just gotten out of my own way and on the path to a side-hustle. (As an aside, I am positioning myself as an expert snare drummer with a focus on musicality and technique that can be applied to the drum set as well as other percussion instruments.)

Implementation

There are plenty of others ways you can implement this:

• I want to lose weight, but I don’t have much time.
• I want to start my own business, but I don’t have any startup capital.
• I want to get a job in web development, but I don’t know about JavaScript.

You know the drill now – we use “and” now.

• I want to lose wait, AND I don’t have much time, so I should find a physical activity that I enjoy that doesn’t take up much of my time.
• I want to start my own business, AND I don’t have any startup capital, so I should find a business idea that costs little or nothing to start making a profit.
• I want to get a job in web development, AND I don’t know about JavaScript, so I should sign up for an online course or read a book about the subject.

What about you?

Are there things you want to do, AND the word “but” is getting in your way? See what I did there? It’s now just a problem for you to solve! The next time you start talking yourself out of doing something, try this little technique and see if you come up with a possible solution to your problem. You’d be surprised how easy it is.