Don’t let it paralyze you.
If you failed to do something through inaction, hesitation, or indecision, remember the feeling of regret it left in your gut.
Not to punish yourself or
Another opportunity of some kind will come your way, and you’ll feel hesitant or indecisive again. But if you remember the regret you felt the last time, you’ll realize how much better you’ll feel this time if you act.
Use it to make better decisions in the future.
One person. Just help one person with whatever skill you have, whatever problem she has.
This one act doesn’t have to dictate the entire course of your life, business, career, or whatever else you’re worried about.
Nor do you have to plan everything perfectly from the start. No need to create a business plan, figure out all the courses and certifications you need to take, or get an accountant on retainer. At least not right now.
The important thing is to start. Help this one person in front of you.
If it goes well, then you can decide whether to help another in the same way. Or not.
One decision doesn’t have to dictate every other decision that follows.
At the end of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (spoiler alert), Harry stands near the lake waiting for his father to appear and ward off the dementors attacking Sirius’s, Hermione’s, and his past selves.
After waiting for an agonizing amount of time, he realizes that he was the person who conjured the Patronus and drove the creatures away, not his father. He was the person he’d been waiting for all along.
Even without time travel, this is a relevant lesson to us. We often sit around waiting for someone to swoop in and save the day. We wait for someone else to act.
The problem is that everyone else is doing the same thing—they are all waiting around for someone else to rescue them from whatever the problem may be.
At some point, you must wake up and realize you are the hero of your story. You are the person everyone else is waiting for to act.
Someone eventually has to take a stand, so it might need to be you.
Why can’t you organize a study group to work through a difficult Udemy course?
Why can’t you pick yourself to be a successful musician (rather than waiting for a record company to do it)?
Why can’t you organize a petition to get an environmental ordnance passed through your local government?
Why can’t you start that small marketing agency on the side and build it up to your full time gig?
Why can’t you throw together a fundraiser to help a down-on-her-luck mom keep her house for a year?
Why can’t you coach someone else to help improve their health and well-being?
You don’t need another credential. You don’t need permission.
You just need the skill… and the desire to act.
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The secret to winning Jeopardy?
Hit the buzzer before you know the answer
If you wait until you know the answer, that split second hesitation lets the other person get ahead of you.
If you hit the buzzer first, you’ll at least have a chance of getting it right.
But if you wait, the opportunity to succeed instantly passes you by.
(H/t to Seth Godin for reminding me of this principle.)
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You can sit and think all you want… Contemplating your next step, figuring out all the possible outcomes, anticipating roadblocks.
But eventually, you’ll have to do something.
And most of the time, that sort of thinking is just procrastination. And it usually happens because we’re scared to take action.
Ideas aren’t eggs. Sitting on them doesn’t help them hatch.
If you want to figure out if something is right or possible or good for you, try it and see what happens.
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There is a war going on, a content war—one of which we are all a part. If you are on social media or have a smartphone, you now have a voice.
We have two choices:
We can sit on the sides and watch passively, soaking up everyone else’s content and letting it sway us one way or another.
Or we can choose to create, contribute, and add our voice to the mix and try to be heard. To change someone for the better. To make a difference however small.
It’s true you may never be noticed. You might be drowned out by all the other voices. But doing the work is still worth it—in fact, it’s all that matters.
If we do not speak up, there is no chance that we can improve anything. And those that seek to make things worse will overtake those who want to make things better.
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No one ever got paid for an idea alone. Only those who came up with an idea, or took someone else’s, and acted upon it have made a difference worth anything.
“I have more respect for the fellow with a single idea who gets there than for the fellow with a thousand ideas who does nothing.”
—Thomas Edison
I have dozens of ideas pop into my head each day when I’m taking a shower, walking at the park, or driving in silence. Not one has generated anything for me or anyone else except those I showed to the world.
Better to have one idea and the will to act upon it than 1,000 ideas and procrastinate.
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Something I’ve been working on a lot during my deep dive into creativity and self-awareness is dealing with fear. It’s always there, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to find a way to get rid of it.
What I have learned, however, is simple: feel the fear…then act anyway.
Almost nothing we do in modern life is actually dangerous – it just feels dangerous, and our amygdala tells us to run as fast as we can in the other direction. Making a cold call, sending out batches of promo materials to prospective employers, sitting in an interview…none of these things are dangerous. They just feel dangerous.
Jumping out of a plane with no parachute is dangerous; driving while wearing a blindfold is dangerous.
Trying something new where you may be told no? That’s not dangerous.
I’ve decided to feel the fear, and act anyway. First, it was making a phone call to get contact information for someone in charge of a job I desperately wanted to take. Then it was beginning the sales process of promoting myself to that person. Today, it was reaching out to an old contact – a professor at a local college – about working for her in her program.
Each time, I felt tremendous fear, then did the thing that scared me anyway Euphoria followed fear, then the fear melted away.
And so far, 2 out of the 3 times, it has paid off. The person I called was incredibly kind and more than happy to give me the information I was seeking (why was I so scared?).
The contact at the college was very positive in her response (again, why was I so scared?).
And the third person? Well, I’m not done selling myself to him yet.
What is, and was, the worst that any of them could say? No? That’s not scary or dangerous. It just means I’ve got to try something else.
But the best part of all this? If I act and succeed, then I win! If I act and fail, I STILL WIN! How? Because I did something that scared me, which makes it easier to do it again next time in a different situation. Because I’m exercising the muscle of action in the face of fear. Because I’m not basing my self-worth over how other people feel about me, what they say about me, or whether or not they say yes to my proposal. I don’t feel the need for that approval anymore – it’s just a happy bonus if I get it.
I will quote Susan Jeffers at length here:
“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures…Take a risk a day – one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.”
–Susan Jeffers
I’ve decided to make fear my companion on this adventure called life. I hope you will too.
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