Tag / self-fulfilling prophecy

by Nathan Coumbe

Act “as if”

Acting “as if” is the only way to change. 

Reading, studying, thinking—none of that will create change without action. 

People are afraid to take the actions necessary because they don’t feel like they’re “THAT” type of person yet.

But you don’t become “that guy” until you start acting like that guy.

So act as if.

…As if you ARE patient, kind, and understanding.

…As if you ARE lean, strong, and healthy.

…As if you ARE a confident entrepreneur.

…As if you ARE a loving spouse or parent.

Acting as if, a little bit each day, will eventually become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

by Nathan Coumbe

The Transitive Property of Belief

Time for a math lesson! Bear with me—it matters.

The Transitive Property of Mathematics says this: for all real numbers x, y, and z, if x=y and y=z, then x=z also.

That makes sense, right?

Why am I telling you this? Because this same mathematical property affects all outcomes you experience in life.

Think about it: how you see an aspect of reality affects how you behave. How you behave affects the results you get. Therefore, how you see things affects the results you get. X=Y and Y=Z, so X=Z as well.

Dr. Stephen R. Covey called this the “See-Do-Get Continuum.” How we see the world affects what we do, which affects what we get in life. (You can learn all about it in his monumental work The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

Covey likes to say, “How we see the problem is the problem.” In this case, “seeing” could also translate into “believing.”

Here’s an example:

Let’s say you’re a manager and you’ve recently had a few millennials added to your team. If you believe all millennials are lazy and entitled, you’re going to treat them as such. This will so alienate them and undermine your relationship that pretty soon, they’ll start acting out.

Most likely they’ll rebel against you by doing the bare minimum, scraping by because in their minds nothing they do will be good enough to please you anyway. Why should they put out more effort than necessary?

How you saw them affected your behavior towards them, which affected how they behaved (your results). It’s the Pygmalion Effect, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Can you see how this continuum affects us when it come to things like race, gender, or religion? Our beliefs shape our actions; our actions shape our outcomes.

So what’s the bottom line?

If you want to change the world—or maybe just your situation in it—start first by changing your beliefs. Work first on how you see things.

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by Nathan Coumbe

How to Make Revolutionary Change in Your Personal Life and Career

Dr. Covey taught me perhaps the most important and fundamental life lesson of all. It’s the idea of paradigms and the See-Do-Get formula.

What Are Paradigms?

Paradigms are our ways of seeing the world. As Dr. Covey describes it, they are maps of the territory we are navigating. As we know, maps are a representation of the world but not the world itself. These “maps” affect every aspect of our daily lives.

See-Do-Get

Our paradigms put us into a cycle known as “See-Do-Get”. How we see something (our paradigm) affects our behavior (what we do). Our behavior affects the results we get. These results then reinforce our viewpoint. They become a never-ending cycle that can only be short-circuited by changing how we “see”. We must examine the map.

A Story to Illustrate the Point

I once knew a teacher whose students approached him about putting on a short play for the school. They saw this as a way to put the English literature they were studying into a fun and creative context. But this teacher saw his students as an uncreative bunch of hooligans with no talent. He did not believe them capable of staging anything worthwhile.

Grudgingly, he let the students “try” to put something together. Because of his mindset, he failed to encourage them, coach them, or help them in any way. His only offering was scathing criticism because he saw no possible positive outcome. The students became increasingly frustrated and unhappy with their efforts. They began to believe their teacher correct in his views and quit the project after a few weeks. Their “failure” further reinforced the teacher’s own paradigm.

I felt devastated when I found out about the situation from the students. Why did it happen that way? Because he saw them as uncreative, incapable, and without talent, he treated them as such. He failed to help or encourage his students and did nothing but criticize and condemn. This behavior led to the results he expected all along.

The Root of Any Problem

How we see a problem (or person, political party, or random happenstance) is a problem itself. It affects our behavior and the results we get, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Design thinking teaches us to reframe problems in ways that allow us to take positive action on them. Only by changing how we see something can we get to the root of the issue. If you want to make positive change in any area of your life, first examine how you see the problem.

What would have happened had this teacher been aware of the way he saw his students? What if he had taken a step back and seen them as young, curious, and full of potential? Maybe he would have treated them as budding thespians and offered encouragement. This change in behavior might have led to a fun, engaging, and successful student project. And who knows? It might have had lasting effects on all the students, even the ones who came to watch.

Instead, his negative mindset destroyed all hope of having any success at all.

I’ll leave the final word on this subject to Dr. Covey himself:

“If you want to make minor improvements, change your behavior. But if you want to make quantum improvements, change your paradigm.”

—Dr. Stephen R. Covey

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