Children flourish if parents reward their efforts rather than outcomes.

Annie Duke’s decision-making education makes it clear that good decisions don’t always result in good outcomes. All decisions involve luck to a certain degree, so neither we nor our children can control how things might turn out.

Sometimes, a good decision leads to a bad outcome, and other times, a bad decision leads to a good outcome. This means we must reinforce good decision-making first and foremost, not just praise decisions that lead to results we like.

This is not to say that all children deserve a participation trophy. It means that we should appropriately reward good effort (i.e., good decisions) and discourage bad decisions, even if they lead to a positive outcome.

The “how” of achievement matters as much, if not more, than the “what.”

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