Tag / philosophy

by Nathan Coumbe

Are We Really “Born to Do” Anything?

It’s a question asked by lots of career counselors, coaches, and well-meaning advisors.

“What do you feel you were ‘born to do?'”

What if the honest answer is we aren’t born to do anything specific?

There is an entire area of philosophy dedicated to this idea that was first theorized by John Locke. (You can check out the basics here.) But I’m focusing on talents and passions today.

Was Van Gogh born to paint? Was Steve Jobs born to create the iPhone? Seth Godin would argue no. His answer to this question is simple. Here’s how I understand it:

No one is predetermined to use a certain medium for his or her art. We simply adopt the means and medium of whatever is available to us in our time.

In one of his podcast episodes, Seth says he doesn’t believe that Van Gogh would have painted with oils had he been born in the 20th century. Nor would Steve Jobs have created the iPhone had he been born in the 1700s (the resources and advancements in science were not available for that to have been possible).

And yet, each of us is genetically unique. You have never occurred before and will never occur again in this universe. Surely that means that we are born with innate talents and leanings.

Part of me thinks that’s true. And yet part of me also believes, as career coach Dan Miller says, “Passion is more developed than discovered.”

By this, he means we become passionate about things we engage with over and over again.

I find this idea incredibly liberating. Why? It means if we aren’t satisfied with what we are doing—if our passions are no longer feeding or fueling us—we can choose a new passion. We can develop it to something that feels like we were born to do it.

Maybe, in the end, it all comes down to choice and what’s available to us in our time.

What do you think? Were you born to do something? Leave a comment today!

by Nathan Coumbe

Accepting things as they are doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about them

The latest newsletter by Ryan Holiday on Stoicism (feel free to read it here) got me thinking about the difference between stoically, proactively accepting something as it is versus doing so in a passive, resigned way.

Holiday points out that Stoics were once criticized as being “too resigned…[accepting] the status quo.” That particular phrase got me thinking about accepting reality and taking action.

There are plenty of folks in the world who accept things passively, resignedly, like a sad sack – “there’s nothing I can do about it.” However, that isn’t what Stoics, or indeed, any religious or philosophical teaching truly preached.

Jesus told us turn the other cheek.

Epictetus told us to accept the things we can’t control as they are.

However, none of this means we simply roll over and die, accepting our fate. Quite the opposite, in fact. What these teachings tell us to do is face reality, then take action.

Circle of influence

Stephen Covey talks about the “Circle of Concern” and “Circle of Influence” in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; these two circles are precisely the ideas about which Jesus, Epictetus, and other Stoic philosophers were trying to teach us.

There are things that we simply cannot change or do anything about. You can’t control whether someone slaps you in the face. You can’t control the economy, the weather, what the politicians in Washington do, or what your boss is like. You have to accept these as reality, or you will waste time and energy banging your head against the wall.

You can control how you respond to the guy who slaps you in the face, how you handle your money in times of crises, or how you dress and prepare when the weather turns nasty.

You can control how you treat other people, whether or not you vote, whether you actively contribute to your community, or whether you make positive deposits into your most important relationships.

You can control what skills you learn, how diligent you are in your job search, whether you give more than you are asked and build more trust with your boss as a result, and how you react when the boss doesn’t change his behavior.

Complaining, comparing, attempting to change things involving other people’s behavior, or changing the way the world works, for the most part, is ridiculously ineffective. You must instead focus your attention on things over which you have actual influence and control; most of the time those are things involve you: your behaviors, your actions, and your views of the world.

Accepting things as they are is the most important first step in changing how things are.

Until you accept reality as it is, there is nothing you can do to make a difference.

That’s my rant for today. Thanks for reading.

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by Nathan Coumbe

You cannot change people

To change a situation, you must first change yourself.

Notice that it says “situation,” not “person.” You cannot change people.

You can influence people if they let you, but then they are changing themselves.

Influence comes from trust and understanding: to be influenced, they must trust you. To trust you, they must feel understood.

Only when there is understanding can there be trust, and only when there is trust can there be influence.

So you must first change yourself: you must become a person who seeks to understand another, a person who chooses to see the world from the other’s point of view. Whether you agree or not is irrelevant; it is the understanding that matters.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

–Aristotle

If you want to create change, change the one thing over which you already have influence: yourself.

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