Tag / personal growth

by Nathan Coumbe

Do you know a virtuous person?

Who do you know who is courageous?

Wise?

Disciplined?

Just?

Do you know anyone who embodies all four of these cardinal virtues?

How much better would things be if you had a boss like this? A coworker or employee?

How would the world improve if we had leaders like this?

It’s hard to succeed with only one or two. You need all four to be truly effective.

The German soldiers who steamrolled Europe were courageous and disciplined. But they were brave and disciplined for the most unwise and unjust of reasons.

You can probably think of several people who were incredibly wise… But who lacked the courage to stand up and do the right thing when the time called for action.

We need more virtuous people in the world.

They aren’t born this way. They make themselves so.

by Nathan Coumbe

I hate getting feedback… Don’t you?

I hate getting feedback…

It hurts. It stings. It can crush your soul—especially if you think you’re already kicking butt. 

But it’s also the best way to figure out where you can grow to hit your goals.

That’s why I actively seek it out in everything I do. 

Musicians Are Brutal

This practice came from my time in university. I was studying to be (and working as) a professional musician. 

Every week, I had multiple lessons, rehearsals, and performances. And after each one, my teachers, bandmates, and mentors had feedback for me.

It was brutal (to put it mildly). But it made me a better musician. 

These people were better than me, more experienced, and knew what needed to be done to succeed. 

I’ve carried this practice with me into every job I’ve had. It’s made me a better leader, writer, and marketer.

“A mark of a competent adult is their ability to accept feedback. The mark of a child is their expectation of praise without merit.”

—Donald Miller, Business Made Simple, p. 15

Surround yourself with people who want you to improve and succeed in your roles. Actively seek out feedback. 

The more you do it, the better you’ll get. But I can’t promise it won’t sting.

How do you feel about feedback? Are you actively seeking it out?

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by Nathan Coumbe

Why criticism doesn’t work

Criticism sucks. At times, it’s necessary for growth, but it still sucks.

How did you react the last time someone criticized you? I’m guessing you retreated inward, or perhaps you did the opposite and lashed out to defend your actions.

People don’t like to be wrong, and they like it even less when their wrongdoing is pointed out. Criticism only creates a need in others to justify their actions.

Really, when someone does something wrong, the only useful thing to do for either party involved is to respond proactively. On the lowest level of proactivity, this means living by Jesus’ principle of “turning the other cheek.” Simply choose not to react–easier said than done, I know, but it can be developed with practice like any skill or muscle. At a higher level, this might mean never taking offense to the wrongdoing in the first place. This idea is the epitome of stoicism.

As you go about your day, assume that each person you meet is angry, negative, reactive, and will blame everyone and everything he meets for his circumstances…except himself. If you do this, you’ll soon realize that criticizing or reacting to him does nothing except, perhaps, to make you feel better.

It won’t solve the problem; he won’t learn the lesson you want to pound into him; and the only growth anyone makes will be that of resentment and ill will between each party.

Don’t be a critic; be a model of what you wish others to do. It’s the only way to create the change you seek. Learn how right here.

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