Freedom from consequences

Trevor Noah recently said something I feel very strongly about. I’m paraphrasing a bit:

“People who are pro-free speech [at all costs]…are only really pro-free speech about their speech that might offend other people.”

Or, I might add, that may be despicably untrue…then an algorithm picks it up and spreads it to gullible or ill-informed victims…

But here’s the thing: freedom of speech protects you against government intervention.

It doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole (or evil) without consequences.

It also doesn’t protect you from businesses, corporations, or individuals limiting what you say.

You can’t say “bomb” in an airport without being tackled by TSA agents.

You can’t tell a restaurant owner to “eat shit and die”—then expect to be allowed back in to eat.

You also can’t say terrible things to a person and force them to stick around and listen… At least not in the real world (but apparently we expect others to do just that online).

That’s not free speech.

Somehow we’ve conflated (incorrectly) the idea of “I can say whatever I want no matter what,” with part of the First Amendment of the US Constitution.

But:

Everything you say or do has consequences.

They might be good OR bad, but consequences of some sort will ensue regardless. That’s a natural law of the universe. And it’s immature to say or do something awful, then get upset when it has negative consequences for you.

This argument we’re having about what’s “allowed” to be said on the internet—it isn’t an argument about free speech.

Rather, it’s a conversation about actions and their consequences.

Our desire to avoid taking responsibility for those actions…and who determines what those consequences are.

You can do whatever you want…

You just can’t control the outcome of whatever you do.

“When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.”

—Stephen R. Covey

What Happens When We Don’t Think Win-Win?

Until we can believe that there is enough to go around, that each of us has the possibility to win alongside others, we cannot live effectively in an interdependent world.

Instead, we will see the world through the paradigm of scarcity. Everything becomes a competition rather than a chance for cooperation and mutual benefit.

Get more insights delivered directly to your inbox. Subscribe below!

How to Make Revolutionary Change in Your Personal Life and Career

Dr. Covey taught me perhaps the most important and fundamental life lesson of all. It’s the idea of paradigms and the See-Do-Get formula.

What Are Paradigms?

Paradigms are our ways of seeing the world. As Dr. Covey describes it, they are maps of the territory we are navigating. As we know, maps are a representation of the world but not the world itself. These “maps” affect every aspect of our daily lives.

See-Do-Get

Our paradigms put us into a cycle known as “See-Do-Get”. How we see something (our paradigm) affects our behavior (what we do). Our behavior affects the results we get. These results then reinforce our viewpoint. They become a never-ending cycle that can only be short-circuited by changing how we “see”. We must examine the map.

A Story to Illustrate the Point

I once knew a teacher whose students approached him about putting on a short play for the school. They saw this as a way to put the English literature they were studying into a fun and creative context. But this teacher saw his students as an uncreative bunch of hooligans with no talent. He did not believe them capable of staging anything worthwhile.

Grudgingly, he let the students “try” to put something together. Because of his mindset, he failed to encourage them, coach them, or help them in any way. His only offering was scathing criticism because he saw no possible positive outcome. The students became increasingly frustrated and unhappy with their efforts. They began to believe their teacher correct in his views and quit the project after a few weeks. Their “failure” further reinforced the teacher’s own paradigm.

I felt devastated when I found out about the situation from the students. Why did it happen that way? Because he saw them as uncreative, incapable, and without talent, he treated them as such. He failed to help or encourage his students and did nothing but criticize and condemn. This behavior led to the results he expected all along.

The Root of Any Problem

How we see a problem (or person, political party, or random happenstance) is a problem itself. It affects our behavior and the results we get, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Design thinking teaches us to reframe problems in ways that allow us to take positive action on them. Only by changing how we see something can we get to the root of the issue. If you want to make positive change in any area of your life, first examine how you see the problem.

What would have happened had this teacher been aware of the way he saw his students? What if he had taken a step back and seen them as young, curious, and full of potential? Maybe he would have treated them as budding thespians and offered encouragement. This change in behavior might have led to a fun, engaging, and successful student project. And who knows? It might have had lasting effects on all the students, even the ones who came to watch.

Instead, his negative mindset destroyed all hope of having any success at all.

I’ll leave the final word on this subject to Dr. Covey himself:

“If you want to make minor improvements, change your behavior. But if you want to make quantum improvements, change your paradigm.”

—Dr. Stephen R. Covey

What more advice for living an effective life? Subscribe below.