Tag / overcoming fear

by Nathan Coumbe

It’s Just a Simple Fear of Failing

Dan Miller sent out an email a couple of weeks ago entitled “Why Are You Stuck?” It struck a nerve in me, so I pinned that email to the top of my inbox and read it every day for the last two weeks.

Today, I finally took the time to craft a response and send it back to him. I thought I’d share it with you as well.

I’m a great writer—in fact, I do that in my day job. That, combined with my teaching experience, is why I was hired. Because I’m good at, and enjoy, writing, I keep thinking about, journaling about, and contemplating becoming a freelance copywriter as a 15-hour a week side business.

(Click here if you’d want to learn how YOU can start a business with only 15 hours per week)

I eventually want to become a full-time marketing consultant and a business coach for aspiring entrepreneurs and small business folks. I’m already doing the latter as part of my day job, just not as often as I’d like.

And…I keep getting cold feet, talking myself out of it. But today, I think I’ve finally been able to express what’s holding me back. It’s not a fear of cold-calling people or getting rejected…

I’m afraid I’m going to let them down! I’m afraid I’m going to fail to live up to my prices. Or write bad copy. Or that I’ll wireframe and write copy for a website, and it won’t work! I’m terrified of charging someone money for something and failing to deliver what I promised.

It seems disappointingly simple that my hold-ups come down to a simple fear of failure. But there it is. Dan asked me the question, and this morning I finally had an answer for him.

What’s holding you back? Maybe you’re thinking of starting a business or becoming a freelancer yourself. If so, I encourage you to click here and enter your email address.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Fear Accompanies Us On All Our Exciting Adventures

Something I’ve been working on a lot during my deep dive into creativity and self-awareness is dealing with fear. It’s always there, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to find a way to get rid of it.

What I have learned, however, is simple: feel the fear…then act anyway. 

There Is No Danger…

Almost nothing we do in modern life is actually dangerous – it just feels dangerous, and our amygdala tells us to run as fast as we can in the other direction. Making a cold call, sending out batches of promo materials to prospective employers, sitting in an interview…none of these things are dangerous. They just feel dangerous.

Jumping out of a plane with no parachute is dangerous; driving while wearing a blindfold is dangerous.

Trying something new where you may be told no? That’s not dangerous.

Action Overcomes Fear

I’ve decided to feel the fear, and act anyway. First, it was making a phone call to get contact information for someone in charge of a job I desperately wanted to take. Then it was beginning the sales process of promoting myself to that person. Today, it was reaching out to an old contact – a professor at a local college – about working for her in her program.

Each time, I felt tremendous fear, then did the thing that scared me anyway Euphoria followed fear, then the fear melted away. 

And so far, 2 out of the 3 times, it has paid off. The person I called was incredibly kind and more than happy to give me the information I was seeking (why was I so scared?).

The contact at the college was very positive in her response (again, why was I so scared?).

And the third person? Well, I’m not done selling myself to him yet.

What is, and was, the worst that any of them could say? No? That’s not scary or dangerous. It just means I’ve got to try something else.

Win or Learn

But the best part of all this? If I act and succeed, then I win! If I act and fail, I STILL WIN! How? Because I did something that scared me, which makes it easier to do it again next time in a different situation. Because I’m exercising the muscle of action in the face of fear. Because I’m not basing my self-worth over how other people feel about me, what they say about me, or whether or not they say yes to my proposal. I don’t feel the need for that approval anymore – it’s just a happy bonus if I get it. 

I will quote Susan Jeffers at length here:

“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures…Take a risk a day – one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.”

–Susan Jeffers

I’ve decided to make fear my companion on this adventure called life. I hope you will too.

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