Tag / man's search for meaning

by Nathan Coumbe

How will you measure your life?

Is it by the number in your bank account?

The amount of influence you have over people and events?

What about your job title and the status it brings?

All valid options. But is that what you’ll want to think about as you take your last breath?

Or maybe you’ll use a different measuring stick.

The amount of art you created.

The number of people you changed for the better.

How well you raised your children… And what tremendous people they became.

You get to choose.

*This post was inspired by the book How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton Christensen et al.

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by Nathan Coumbe

What are you REALLY hungry for?

Ever find yourself staring into the harsh glow of the refrigerator when you know you aren’t hungry?

Or digging through the cabinets, hoping one of those rustling foil bags will “hit the spot”?

If you’re human, the answer to both questions is, “yes.”

When you do this, you might be eating because you’re hungry for something else. 

Us humans often eat when we’re feeling stressed, unfulfilled, upset, or angry. We also do it as a form of procrastination: often a tough project at work is too overwhelming to consider. So we put it off by eating. (This is a big one for me…)

If you can resonate with this, fret not. You’re totally normal. 

I used to eat (a lot) because it was the only thing that was bringing me any pleasure at times. 

Work sucked—not only was it exhausting, but it was incredibly dull and unfulfilling. I wasn’t doing something that was meaningful to me, so I ate… just to feel something.

I also had no hobbies (other than watching Netflix). After college, I went to work full-time on a 9-to-5 schedule. And for some reason, I decided to give up every satisfying, joy-bringing, fulfilling hobby that I had. 

There were other things missing in my life too… Holes that weren’t being filled.

All I could do (so I thought) was fill it with food. It was the only “hobby” I had.

Of course, this wasn’t good for my health. I gained a massive amount of weight, put a dozen inches on my waist, and developed injuries usually only suffered by folks in their 70s.

Any of this sound familiar?

Using food as a coping mechanism is very common. It’s solving a problem for you right now, even if it might cause other problems later. And that’s okay—don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. 

If you’re ready, willing, and able, the first step is to build awareness. Not to change anything, mind you. Just become aware of what’s going on a little deeper below the surface. 

You can start by enacting a simple practice.

Whenever you feel a craving for something…

Whenever you’re contemplating a task at work, then walk to the fridge instead…

Pause for just a moment and ask yourself: “what am I really hungry for?”

  • Is it affection? 
  • Sunlight or fresh air?
  • Dancing? Music? Some other hobby you’ve always dreamed of?
  • Validation?
  • Connecting with a friend or loved one?
  • A job better aligned with your skills?
  • Sex? (You have no idea how often we all substitute food for this one 😬)

Once you pause and think about this for a moment, go ahead and have that snack. And enjoy the hell out of it!

For now, all you need to do is recognize what’s really going on—what’s missing.

Then, if and when you’re ready, go take care of that craving you’re really hungering for. 

by Nathan Coumbe

Freedom, self-discipline, and responsibility

Contrary to what some people believe, freedom doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do whatever you want, whenever you want. 

Dwight D. Eisenhower’s philosophy was that freedom is the opportunity for self-discipline. 

Give a child total freedom and what happens? They live on ice cream and candy bars, set fire to the yard, and traumatize the pets and neighbors. In short, they become the quintessential “hooligan” so many suburbanites fear.

That’s why we have to instill external discipline in them at first and help them internalize it. That’s the only way they can become free without our oversight.

The same is true for adults, especially in our roles as citizens of a state or nation. They must learn how to use their freedom responsibly before they can truly call themselves “free citizens.”

Viktor Frankl said the United States should have set up a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast to compliment our Statue of Liberty on the east coast. He knew you couldn’t really have the latter without the former. 

And to paraphrase Uncle Ben from Spider-Man: “With great FREEDOM comes great responsibility.” We seem to forget that because we’re free, we are responsible for using that freedom in a disciplined manner. 

The late, great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar had a saying:

“Take a train off the tracks, and it’s totally free… But it can’t go anywhere.”

Take whatever meaning from this you will. But I know what it means to me.