Tag / losing weight

by Nathan Coumbe

The messy middle

Any worthwhile pursuit has a messy middle. In his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller talks about what it’s like to cross a stretch of water. We leave the shore and eventually arrive on the opposite side.

But in between those two points, we have “the hard work of the middle.” That’s where the journey becomes a slog, the motions seem repetitive, and the effort seems useless.

Pursuing a goal, starting a business, losing weight… All of these pursuits have that same hard work to be done in the middle.

In almost every case, we start strong and make decent, even quick, progress. But soon after we hit a point where we lose focus and motivation.

“Why am I at the gym for the third time this week? I just want to go home…”

“I really just want to pig out on pizza, beer, and ice cream. I don’t feel like cooking…”

We get frustrated, hit plateaus, and our motivation wanes.

It’s when we hit that point we have to rely on our “why”.

Our reason for pursuing whatever it is has to be strong enough to get us through the messy middle. Seth Godin calls this “the dip” in his book of the same name.

Without a strong why, without a reason to keep pushing through, we burn out and quit.

Not only does our motivation have to be strong, but we have to revisit it every day. Zig Ziglar had a saying about this rule:

“Motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it every day.”

First, identify a strong reason why you want to pursue something.

Then make time every day to review it. Keep your motivation front of mind.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Why are you REALLY doing that?

Years ago, the Toyota Motor Company created a system called “The 5 Whys.” It is a problem-solving technique that helps drill down to the root cause of an issue–in their case, manufacturing problems.

It’s also an excellent personal technique to help you figure out why you are doing, or attempting to do, just about anything.

Why do you want to lost weight? This is now an almost universal goal. If your answer is to look good at the beach or to feel better, you’re probably going to start binging the first time you see a pack of Oreos at the supermarket.

Why? The motivation from those bland, generic reasons are extrinsic (outside of yourself and your reasons for being) and, well…bland and generic. They have no real meaning to you. So try the “5 Whys.”

Why do you want to lose weight?

“So I’ll be strong and fit.”

Why does that matter?

“When I am strong and fit, I’ll be able to accomplish more with my body.”

Okay, and?

“When I can do more, I won’t tire out and break down like I currently am on a regular basis.”

Okay, why does that matter?

“When I am more resilient, I’ll be able to serve others better and longer: I will be able to go up and down stairs without passing out, or help my friend declutter her garage without hurting myself.”

And why is that important?

“Because I feel like service to others is one of the main reasons I’m here…”

Wow! Just like that you now have a deep, intrinsic purpose for losing weight and getting strong. You don’t only want to look good at the beach: you want to serve others at a higher capacity because it’s one of your values.

Now, when you see those Oreos or feel like skipping your daily movement session, you’ll remember that you are striving to serve others.

Your motivation doesn’t have to be service to others, of course. This is highly personal to each of us.

Think of a goal you want to achieve in some area of your life: physical, financial, family, career, personal development, social, or spiritual. When you have a goal, start asking why it matters. Drill down until you either determine that the thing you want is hollow and meaningless or you find the real motivation to accomplish it.

Find the real reasons for what you want in life. You might surprise yourself.

*Note: I first learned about this while being coached by the folks over at Precision Nutrition. I want to thank them for giving me something I can now spread to others.

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