Tag / franklincovey

by Nathan Coumbe

Holding Others Accountable Is an Act of Respect

I am in the second week of a leadership course created by FranklinCovey based on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.*

This week’s topic is Habit 1: Be Proactive. For those of you unfamiliar with the 7 Habits, the first habit is about personal responsibility. It posits that we are the creative force in our own lives. We can choose how we respond to stimuli in the world, and these choices drastically alter our results.

One statement this morning stood out more than others:

“Holding people to the responsible course is not demeaning; it is affirming.”

—Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

We show respect when we refuse to let others blame circumstances for their situations. Holding others responsible tells them “you are where you are because of the choices you’ve made.” 

At the same time, we are communicating another message:

“You can make choices now that can lead you to a better situation.”

Of course, our environmental factors must be taken into account. Outside, uncontrollable forces definitely influence our lives. Our upbringing, sex, gender, or socioeconomic status can make things easier or harder. But they do not determine our lives! 

Each of us has within us what Viktor Frankl calls “the last of the human freedoms.” We can choose our response to any stimulus. It may not seem like much to you, but this idea was incredibly liberating to me. 

“Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.”

Show another person respect. Let them know they have the power to choose. 

When you choose, you change things.

*If you want to level up your leadership skills, and earn an industry-recognized certification in the process, check out FranklinCovey’s LeaderU courses at leaderu.us.

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by Nathan Coumbe

How to get an education that pays during your quarantine

When was the last time you learned something new?

It was probably a few minutes ago when you read an article on your favorite social media site, and you weren’t even aware you were learning. Why not do it intentionally?

Learning and education don’t cease when school ends. If it does, you’ve made a choice, and you will quickly find yourself becoming obsolete.

No one cares about the degree you got 10 years ago. They want to know if you are competent in the areas needed to accomplish the kind of work you want to do.

Learning and going to school are not the same thing. You might have hated school, but you definitely love learning. School requires that you do things you hate, but you aren’t in school anymore. You can learn whatever you want to learn right now.

Always wanted to learn how to draw? Do you want to redo math, not because you have to but because you want to? Maybe you want to learn calligraphy or tennis. Perhaps you want to get a new job, but you don’t have the marketing skills needed by the company. Now is the time, and now you HAVE time.

Learning anything new is part of your ongoing education. Why not do it intentionally? What are you doing right now to invest in your own education?

I’ll give you some ideas.

How to learn for free (or at least cheaply)

  1. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you only do one thing on this list, do this one. The $10 you spend on this book will be the best investment you ever make. It will change your outlook on life, it will improve your relationships with other people, and it will revolutionize how you act.
  2. Take online courses.
    • LinkedIn Learning
    • Udemy
    • Coursera – want a recommendation? Seth Godin has the absolute best courses on Udemy. Start there.
    • Khan Academy (retake high school absolutely free and enjoy it this time)
    • CreativeLive – learn how to draw, take stunning photographs, start your own creative freelancing business, and so much more.
    • Massachussetts Institute of Technology OCW (seriously, take actual courses from MIT absolutely free)
    • edX – Speaking of great schools, this website lets you take real, full courses from Ivy League schools from the comfort of your living room for free. No strings attached. If you want a certificate to hang on your wall or post on LinkedIn, you can pay a small fee and get proof that you completed Ivy League courses.
    • HubSpot Academy – become an expert in marketing for absolutely nothing.
  3. Read books.
    • Libraries still exist. Even if they aren’t open right now, you can download e-books for free from every library in the country. Go read books on subjects about which you are curious. It doesn’t cost you a dime.
    • Download the Kindle app for free on your phone. Then buy The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Seriously. You can buy books on every subject imaginable for less than $10 each. Most of the time you can get them for $5 or even $0.99. There is no excuse for failing to read. Swap 30 minutes a day of mindlessly scrolling Instagram, and you will become an expert on a subject in a matter of weeks or months.
  4. Subscribe to magazines.
    • Read the Harvard Business Review. It is well worth $18 a month. Get an entire master’s degree in business for what you spend on lunch.
    • Success Magazine and Inc. are two of my favorites. The former will inspire you to live your best life; the latter will give you much-needed insights on how to succeed in any work or business.
  5. Listen to podcasts – again, FREE.
    • “Akimbo” by Seth Godin
    • “48 Days to the Work You Love” by Dan Miller
    • “EntreLeadership” from Ramsey Solutions
    • “On Leadership with Scott Miller” from Franklin Covey
  6. Watch TED Talks and documentaries on Netflix or Amazon Prime Video.

There is no reason for you not to come out of this crisis with new skills, new knowledge, and an unofficial masters degree in one subject or another.

Be proactive. Take control of your education today.

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by Nathan Coumbe

“But why is no one listening to me?”

You are having an argument with your spouse, and she doesn’t understand your point of view, no matter how much you push it.

Your children won’t do anything that you ask them to do. They won’t engage or communicate with you; they shut down every time you try to talk to them.

You are writing blogs and posts, but no one is reading or responding to them.

You’ve created a product that will change lives, but no one is buying it.

Naturally, you ask the question:

“Why is no one listening to me?”

You feel you are doing everything right. You have the right ideas or the right argument; you know more than your children; this product is truly amazing and has revolutionized the way you see and do things. And yet, no one is listening. No one is engaging. No one is buying.

Why?

Because you aren’t listening to them.

The only way to get others to listen to you, to engage with you, to buy from you, is to listen to them and understand their points of view, their wants, and their needs.

If you bludgeon people over the head with your arguments and ideas, they won’t accept them; they don’t have the same ideas, the same noise inside their heads. They are telling themselves different stories. The key to being listened to, to making an impact, is to understand those other stories.

You don’t have to agree with them, but you do have to listen to and understand them. When people feel understand, when they feel heard, when they know that you see them and their side of things, they feel more open to hearing what you have to say.

“Seek first to understand, then be understood.”

–Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

No one is listening to you because you aren’t listening to them.

Your spouse won’t listen to your side of the argument because all you are thinking of is your side of the argument.

Your children won’t listen to your advice and guidance – even though you probably do know more and understand more than they do – because they don’t feel like you understand them, how they feel, or the narrative in their heads.

No one is buying your stuff because as awesome as it is, they don’t get how it will benefit them or how it will make them feel once they use it. Why? Because you didn’t take the time to understand what they want or how they want to feel.

Understand

To influence someone, you must open yourself to the possibility of being influenced by the other person. This means creating a feeling of understanding in the other person. This is not meant to be manipulative: you must genuinely want to understand the other person. Also, people can tell if you are simply trying to manipulate them rather than understand them.

Listen to what your spouse wants; listen to how your children feel; listen to the needs and frustrations of your customers.

Understanding must always come first; otherwise you’ll fail.

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by Nathan Coumbe

What does it mean to “be proactive”?

If practiced regularly, the ideas behind these two words will change your life. 

To be proactive means to take responsibility and initiative in your life. 

Being proactive means making a choice; it is the most fundamental human right we have. Stephen R. Covey truly understood this when he read the words of Victor Frankl:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Frankl himself was a prisoner of Nazi Germany during the Holocaust: he lost his wife and most of his family in the concentration camps. In one of the most degrading situations in which a human could find himself, he realized that he still had the power to choose how he responded to his tormentors and imprisonment. 

Even if everything was taken away from you – your health, your money, your freedom – you would still have the power of choice. 

You might ask how Frankl could still have had freedom when everything was taken away. The answer is that he had freedom within his own mind – he could choose how he responded to the events in his life, however horrible.

Each of us has within us the power to choose how we react. If there is a rough situation at work, an angry customer, or a disappointed spouse, there is still a split second in which you can decide how you will respond. 

Response-ability –– your ability to respond appropriately. 

How will you take responsibility for yourself today?

P.S. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and read the first few chapters, especially the chapter entitled “Be Proactive.” You will be amazed at the changes you experience in your everyday interactions.

by Nathan Coumbe

The one book I wish I had read before college…

I have decided that this blog will be dedicated to helping others live a more effective, curious, and creative life. To that end, I believe we should start with basic and universal principles of living a good life. There is one book I wish I had read before I began college: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Dr. Stephen R. Covey.

I first read the book when I was a junior at the University of Southern Mississippi, but I did not take it seriously. I simply believed I had more important obligations. Little did I know that had I practiced the fundamental principles contained within the book, I would have achieved more than I could have dreamed at 24 years old.

These are the seven habits:

  1. Be proactive.
  2. Begin with the end in mind.
  3. Put first things first.
  4. Think win-win.
  5. Seek first to understand, then be understood.
  6. Synergize.
  7. Sharpen the saw.

I will be exploring these in-depth in future posts. I hope that you will be inspired to live a more effective life as you follow along.