Tag / criticism

by Nathan Coumbe

Art hardens you against feedback

I spent years of my life being criticized (often brutally) by teachers and peers during my time as a musician.

It hurt—a lot. For a while, anyway.

Eventually you realize something:

It’s not about you. It’s about the work.

Even when the comments seem personal or exceedingly harsh.

You realize there’s this other thing you’re trying to bring into the world (in my case, a piece of music). And there are ways to do it that are creative and wonderful… And ways to do it that are just plain wrong.

At some point, the musician realizes that the people they’re making art with all have the same goal: to bring to life a beautiful piece of music in the way it needs to be.

And when you’re all working toward that shared goal, it makes the feedback easier to bear. You learn to separate the self from the art.

It’s not about you—it’s about the work.

For more daily musings like this, subscribe below:

by Nathan Coumbe

Anything you do will be criticized

Creators will be judged no matter what they do. 

Writers…

Musicians…

Entrepreneurs…

Anyone who creates anything for a living faces judgement. And usually criticism. 

But you’ll also get judged for doing nothing. 

“If you could have, why didn’t you?” is the other question we all face. 

You’ll get judged for doing nothing. You’ll get judged for doing something. 

So you might as well do SOMETHING.

by Nathan Coumbe

Have mercy on the critics

Julia Cameron writes that every critic she’s ever met was, in reality, a blocked artist who couldn’t bring him- or herself to create art of their own…

So they tear down other people’s work because that’s what’s easier.

I remind you of that to say this: absolutely, let’s hear it for all the amazing and brave creators…

But also have mercy on the critics and encourage them to create something of their own.

(Also, make sure you go through The Artist’s Way at least once in your life… It’s truly life-changing for creators of all sorts).

by Nathan Coumbe

We Are Our Own Worst Critics

Artists tend to have little faith in themselves or their work. They prejudge, rewrite, and scrap work without ever letting the work just “be.” 

We don’t feel it’s good enough, so we don’t hit “Publish” or “Post”. We fail to contact that company or that prospective client with a work proposal because we don’t feel we are good enough to get the job. 

I’ll let you in on a little secret:

Your work isn’t good enough.

It isn’t good enough by your own definition of “good enough to ship,” which in all likelihood is actually the definition of “perfect.” It’s not good enough for your impossibly high standards. 

That doesn’t mean it isn’t good. It might even be great. 

If your definition of “good enough” is actually “perfect,” you will fail. Nothing you ever make will be perfect. Nothing will ever be “finished” with that mindset. 

Ship your work anyway. 

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

–Leonardo da Vinci

It is when we decide to abandon our work that it’s good enough to ship. Some work will be better than others; some days you will struggle.

But you are an artist, and artists create.

You will never feel that what you produce is good enough. It’s called “The Resistance”. Your amygdala – the “fight or flight” part of your brain – is telling you to run and hide to avoid being criticized or judged. 

It is wrong. Don’t listen to it. Ship your work anyway. Don’t procrastinate because you don’t think it’s perfect (it never will be). 

Don’t let the definition of “perfection” become your definition of “good enough.” That way leads only to frustration and regret. 

Want more inspiration to embrace your creativity? Subscribe below!

Note: occasionally I include affiliate links for products that have helped me along the way. I receive a small commission from the affiliate on any purchase you might make. You do not pay anything extra for this.

by Nathan Coumbe

Why criticism doesn’t work

Criticism sucks. At times, it’s necessary for growth, but it still sucks.

How did you react the last time someone criticized you? I’m guessing you retreated inward, or perhaps you did the opposite and lashed out to defend your actions.

People don’t like to be wrong, and they like it even less when their wrongdoing is pointed out. Criticism only creates a need in others to justify their actions.

Really, when someone does something wrong, the only useful thing to do for either party involved is to respond proactively. On the lowest level of proactivity, this means living by Jesus’ principle of “turning the other cheek.” Simply choose not to react–easier said than done, I know, but it can be developed with practice like any skill or muscle. At a higher level, this might mean never taking offense to the wrongdoing in the first place. This idea is the epitome of stoicism.

As you go about your day, assume that each person you meet is angry, negative, reactive, and will blame everyone and everything he meets for his circumstances…except himself. If you do this, you’ll soon realize that criticizing or reacting to him does nothing except, perhaps, to make you feel better.

It won’t solve the problem; he won’t learn the lesson you want to pound into him; and the only growth anyone makes will be that of resentment and ill will between each party.

Don’t be a critic; be a model of what you wish others to do. It’s the only way to create the change you seek. Learn how right here.

Join 904 other subscribers
by Nathan Coumbe

Praise the good. Ignore the rest.

If you want to create lasting influence with others, or change for the better, there is really only one way to do it:

Praise the good.

“So long as a person did anything good, he would praise him and use him for the service in which he excelled, but to his other conduct he paid no attention…”

–Cassius Dio writing about Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius

When Emperor Marcus Aurelius wanted to influence other people, to reinforce the behaviors and actions he wanted to see, he would praise the person who did the good deed. This is actually quite Pavlovian in its execution.

Conditioning good behavior

Remember Pavlov from your introductory psychology class? Pavlov would ring a bell before he gave his dogs food; the food caused the dogs to salivate. Eventually the dogs associated the ringing bell with food and would salivate when the bell rang, even when Pavlov did not give them food.

Marcus essentially did the same thing with those in his service: whenever they did something of which he approved, he praised it. This constant reinforcement of the good conditioned his people to do more good work in the future. But there is a second part to Dio’s observation above…

Pay no attention to the rest

Not only did Marcus praise the good, he ignored the behavior and actions he didn’t want to continue. Why did he do this?

There is a wonderful little book who’s first chapter discusses this at length:

“Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.”

–Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

How often have you had a positive outcome after you criticized someone for doing something? I would hazard a guess at 10%.

When you criticize someone, they get angry, defensive, and emotionally illogical. He or she will justify the action rather than accept that it was wrong. It’s a natural human response. We don’t like to be wrong, and we definitely don’t like other people pointing out our poor behavior.

Therefore, the only way to get the results you want from other people is to praise them when you seeing them do the good deeds you want done. Criticizing the bad doesn’t work: it only causes resentment.

“We are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures brisling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

–Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

(Of course, there are some behaviors that are dangerous, illegal, immoral, or that might harm others; these behaviors must be stopped immediately. Those sorts of behaviors are not the topic of discussion here.)

Be a model

How do let others know what good actions or behaviors are? You must be a model. Do the things you want others to do; be the kind of person you want others to be.

Seth Godin likes to say, “people like us do things like this.” Invite people to be “people like us,” whoever you think “people like us” should be. Then, do the things you want others to do, and when they follow, praise them for it!

Model good behavior. Praise others when they perform good work. Ignore the rest.

Join 904 other subscribers