Tag / courage

by Nathan Coumbe

Do you know a virtuous person?

Who do you know who is courageous?

Wise?

Disciplined?

Just?

Do you know anyone who embodies all four of these cardinal virtues?

How much better would things be if you had a boss like this? A coworker or employee?

How would the world improve if we had leaders like this?

It’s hard to succeed with only one or two. You need all four to be truly effective.

The German soldiers who steamrolled Europe were courageous and disciplined. But they were brave and disciplined for the most unwise and unjust of reasons.

You can probably think of several people who were incredibly wise… But who lacked the courage to stand up and do the right thing when the time called for action.

We need more virtuous people in the world.

They aren’t born this way. They make themselves so.

by Nathan Coumbe

Courage is a skill

Seth Godin has arguably one of the best ideas for getting a project started that you’ll ever read. It’s called “First, ten.”

The idea is to share what you’ve created—a book, podcast, newsletter, business idea, whatever—with 10 people who already know and trust you. And if it’s good, they’ll share it with three, five, or ten others. Soon, your idea will spread, and you’ll have the opportunity to do it again.

But sometimes, even that is too terrifying to contemplate. So what can you do instead?

Find a single person. Just one person who loves you unconditionally and whom you trust implicitly. Maybe it’s your sister, your mom, or your best friend.

Share it with them. Not because they’ll praise you for it or because they’ll share it widely. Do it simply to show your fear who’s boss.

Stretch that courage muscle by starting as small as possible. Because bravery is a skill. It can be learned through practice and repetition.

by Nathan Coumbe

Why do we diminish our work?

An acquaintance of mine in Seth Godin’s Purple Space Community announced a new project. It was one I never would have thought of, yet still found fascinating and potentially life-changing for some people.

But he ended his announcement by saying, “I know it’s not significant or anything…”

Why do we do that? Why, when we embark on a new journey or start something new, do we diminish it from the outset?

Because we’re afraid it might not work.

Because we don’t want to feel a sense of letdown.

Because we equate “significance” with the size of the impact, not the impact itself.

Significance: the quality of being worthy of attention; importance.

Nowhere in that definition does it say anything about being worthy of attention to a large number of people. It just says “worthy of attention.” And if it’s worthy of attention to a few people, that makes it significant to those people!

I shared with him the Tale of the Starfish:

A young girl was walking along a beach where thousands of starfish had washed up during a storm. When she came to a starfish, she picked it up and threw it back into the ocean.

A man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? You can’t save them all. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl picked up another starfish and hurled it into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference for that one!”

by Nathan Coumbe

Fear keeps the majority out of power

It only takes one person for something evil to occur. For example, one of the reasons many authoritarian countries haven’t changed their regime already is that the vast majority of people live in fear of the handful of people who would commit evil on behalf of the leaders.

This is a question of power. If every single person in the country realized that they only have power because they can get other people to do bad things, the leaders would no longer be in power. 

The flipside of that is that it only requires one person being willing to harm or kill another for these people to be able to keep their power. 

It’s contagious—one person begets another person willing to commit harm (or too scared to refuse). Pretty soon, a tiny minority of people grows who are willing to commit evil to keep this one person in power.

Because not everyone says no, the minority rules, and the majority seems powerless. As such, the people who are in the majority must seemingly be willing to face death at the hands of the minority to effect change.

by Nathan Coumbe

Let regret guide you

Don’t let it paralyze you.

If you failed to do something through inaction, hesitation, or indecision, remember the feeling of regret it left in your gut.

Not to punish yourself or

Another opportunity of some kind will come your way, and you’ll feel hesitant or indecisive again. But if you remember the regret you felt the last time, you’ll realize how much better you’ll feel this time if you act.

Use it to make better decisions in the future.

by Nathan Coumbe

Courage starts with you

It’s tempting to ask why people who have more power than you don’t use that power to change the situation.

But what about you? Why can’t you muster the courage to write a letter, make a phone call, or attend an event?

If you’re afraid to do something small in service to the change you want to make, how can you possibly expect someone else to do something bigger and potentially more consequential?

Often, the bigger the impact an action has, the more courage is required to act.

So, you must start small. Start with yourself, with the small things you know you can do.

Be brave in the little moments to model courage for others when the big moments come.

by Nathan Coumbe

Courage comes first

All other virtues depend on courage in their execution.

To some extent, all worthwhile endeavors require going against the status quo or doing something difficult. This requires bravery.

Being a courageous politician sometimes means opposing a tyrannical leader, even if that figure has mass appeal. But doing the right thing requires courage in this case.

Acting justly (i.e., doing the right thing) is often unpopular. (How depressing!)

Persisting in the face of opposition requires courage.

Doing the right thing often requires someone “going first,’ also known as leading! You must be courageous to lead, as you must be willing to fail.

by Nathan Coumbe

Start with one

One person. Just help one person with whatever skill you have, whatever problem she has.

This one act doesn’t have to dictate the entire course of your life, business, career, or whatever else you’re worried about.

Nor do you have to plan everything perfectly from the start. No need to create a business plan, figure out all the courses and certifications you need to take, or get an accountant on retainer. At least not right now.

The important thing is to start. Help this one person in front of you.

If it goes well, then you can decide whether to help another in the same way. Or not.

One decision doesn’t have to dictate every other decision that follows.

by Nathan Coumbe

You are the one you’ve been waiting for

At the end of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (spoiler alert), Harry stands near the lake waiting for his father to appear and ward off the dementors attacking Sirius’s, Hermione’s, and his past selves.

After waiting for an agonizing amount of time, he realizes that he was the person who conjured the Patronus and drove the creatures away, not his father. He was the person he’d been waiting for all along.

Even without time travel, this is a relevant lesson to us. We often sit around waiting for someone to swoop in and save the day. We wait for someone else to act.

The problem is that everyone else is doing the same thing—they are all waiting around for someone else to rescue them from whatever the problem may be.

At some point, you must wake up and realize you are the hero of your story. You are the person everyone else is waiting for to act.

Someone eventually has to take a stand, so it might need to be you.

by Nathan Coumbe

Virtue development and woodworking

“We become builders by building, and we become harpists by playing the harp. Similarly, then, we become just by doing just actions, temperate by doing temperate actions, brave by doing brave actions.” —Aristotle

Like any craft, virtue must be practiced. You get better at woodworking by doing woodworking. You get better at leadership by leading others.

Virtue is no different: You develop courage by being brave in trying or risky situations. You develop discipline through practicing self-control and keeping promises to yourself. You develop justice by doing the right thing repeatedly, especially when it’s hard (that’s where courage comes in). You develop wisdom through wise decision-making, intentional learning, and self-reflection.

Virtue isn’t something you “have.” It’s a part of you that must be cultivated.

This post is a follow-up to a previous one: What is virtue?