Courage starts with you

It’s tempting to ask why people who have more power than you don’t use that power to change the situation.

But what about you? Why can’t you muster the courage to write a letter, make a phone call, or attend an event?

If you’re afraid to do something small in service to the change you want to make, how can you possibly expect someone else to do something bigger and potentially more consequential?

Often, the bigger the impact an action has, the more courage is required to act.

So, you must start small. Start with yourself, with the small things you know you can do.

Be brave in the little moments to model courage for others when the big moments come.

Are you scared?

…Or just excited? 

Fear and excitement create a lot of the same physiological reactions in your body.

Jittery hands.

Feeling clammy. 

Elevated heart rate. 

We’ve got this little thing in our brain (the amygdala) that did a great job keeping us safe on the savannah and in the jungles thousands of years ago… But now it’s keeping us from bravely shipping our art… or leading other people.

The problem is it can’t tell the difference between a saber tooth tiger (real danger) and the not-so-dangerous act of publishing your work. 

It FEELS dangerous… But it’s not. And yet we get the same physiological reaction. 

So maybe you aren’t scared. Maybe you’re just feeling excited about possibilities instead. So when you feel those feelings, you should ask yourself, “What am I excited about?”

Is this the kind of fear that is keeping me safe from harm? 

Or is this the kind of fear that is keeping me from being at my best?

Fear Accompanies Us On All Our Exciting Adventures

Something I’ve been working on a lot during my deep dive into creativity and self-awareness is dealing with fear. It’s always there, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to find a way to get rid of it.

What I have learned, however, is simple: feel the fear…then act anyway. 

There Is No Danger…

Almost nothing we do in modern life is actually dangerous – it just feels dangerous, and our amygdala tells us to run as fast as we can in the other direction. Making a cold call, sending out batches of promo materials to prospective employers, sitting in an interview…none of these things are dangerous. They just feel dangerous.

Jumping out of a plane with no parachute is dangerous; driving while wearing a blindfold is dangerous.

Trying something new where you may be told no? That’s not dangerous.

Action Overcomes Fear

I’ve decided to feel the fear, and act anyway. First, it was making a phone call to get contact information for someone in charge of a job I desperately wanted to take. Then it was beginning the sales process of promoting myself to that person. Today, it was reaching out to an old contact – a professor at a local college – about working for her in her program.

Each time, I felt tremendous fear, then did the thing that scared me anyway Euphoria followed fear, then the fear melted away. 

And so far, 2 out of the 3 times, it has paid off. The person I called was incredibly kind and more than happy to give me the information I was seeking (why was I so scared?).

The contact at the college was very positive in her response (again, why was I so scared?).

And the third person? Well, I’m not done selling myself to him yet.

What is, and was, the worst that any of them could say? No? That’s not scary or dangerous. It just means I’ve got to try something else.

Win or Learn

But the best part of all this? If I act and succeed, then I win! If I act and fail, I STILL WIN! How? Because I did something that scared me, which makes it easier to do it again next time in a different situation. Because I’m exercising the muscle of action in the face of fear. Because I’m not basing my self-worth over how other people feel about me, what they say about me, or whether or not they say yes to my proposal. I don’t feel the need for that approval anymore – it’s just a happy bonus if I get it. 

I will quote Susan Jeffers at length here:

“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures…Take a risk a day – one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.”

Susan Jeffers

I’ve decided to make fear my companion on this adventure called life. I hope you will too.

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