Category / integrity

by Nathan Coumbe

Do you know a virtuous person?

Who do you know who is courageous?

Wise?

Disciplined?

Just?

Do you know anyone who embodies all four of these cardinal virtues?

How much better would things be if you had a boss like this? A coworker or employee?

How would the world improve if we had leaders like this?

It’s hard to succeed with only one or two. You need all four to be truly effective.

The German soldiers who steamrolled Europe were courageous and disciplined. But they were brave and disciplined for the most unwise and unjust of reasons.

You can probably think of several people who were incredibly wise… But who lacked the courage to stand up and do the right thing when the time called for action.

We need more virtuous people in the world.

They aren’t born this way. They make themselves so.

by Nathan Coumbe

Does “how” or “what” matter more?

If someone achieves a good outcome through manipulative or unethical means, is the outcome still good?

If that same person makes a great decision based on sound information and principles, but it leads to a bad result, was the effort still “good” in a moral sense?

by Nathan Coumbe

How do values appear in your life?

What do you value? And how do you structure your life so that the things you value are apparent?

If you say you value thinking, how do you engage with that value on a daily basis?

  • No social media?
  • Embracing boredom?
  • Avoiding mindless TV binging?
  • Walking in silence?
  • Writing when ideas strike you?
  • Writing or thinking in public? (Publishing something)

If you say you value your health, how does that show up in your day?

  • Eating lots of fruits and vegetables?
  • Cooking more meals at home?
  • Intentional movement?
  • Finding ways to build more movement into your day so you don’t have to think about it?

Values are developed through action. They requires practice to become part of who you are.

by Nathan Coumbe

Reward the effort, not the outcome

Children flourish if parents reward their efforts rather than outcomes.

Annie Duke’s decision-making education makes it clear that good decisions don’t always result in good outcomes. All decisions involve luck to a certain degree, so neither we nor our children can control how things might turn out.

Sometimes, a good decision leads to a bad outcome, and other times, a bad decision leads to a good outcome. This means we must reinforce good decision-making first and foremost, not just praise decisions that lead to results we like.

This is not to say that all children deserve a participation trophy. It means that we should appropriately reward good effort (i.e., good decisions) and discourage bad decisions, even if they lead to a positive outcome.

The “how” of achievement matters as much, if not more, than the “what.”

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by Nathan Coumbe

Would you sign your name to it?

There’s an old saying among lawyers:

“If a man is willing to say it, he ought to be willing to put it on paper and sign his name beside it.”

There’s a great episode of “Parks and Recreation” where Ron Swanson gets a typewriter. He then proceeds to type letters to countless people with whom he takes issue. 

And he signs his name at the bottom. Even better, when they confront him (in person), he stands by what he said in his letter.

Social media has given us anonymity and the seeming ability to comment (often cruelly and brutally) without fear of consequences. We say things we’d never have the courage to say to a person’s face. 

So, the next time you plan on being an asshole in semi-public, ask yourself:

Would you sign your name to it? Would you be like Ron Swanson?

by Nathan Coumbe

Freedom, self-discipline, and responsibility

Contrary to what some people believe, freedom doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do whatever you want, whenever you want. 

Dwight D. Eisenhower’s philosophy was that freedom is the opportunity for self-discipline. 

Give a child total freedom and what happens? They live on ice cream and candy bars, set fire to the yard, and traumatize the pets and neighbors. In short, they become the quintessential “hooligan” so many suburbanites fear.

That’s why we have to instill external discipline in them at first and help them internalize it. That’s the only way they can become free without our oversight.

The same is true for adults, especially in our roles as citizens of a state or nation. They must learn how to use their freedom responsibly before they can truly call themselves “free citizens.”

Viktor Frankl said the United States should have set up a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast to compliment our Statue of Liberty on the east coast. He knew you couldn’t really have the latter without the former. 

And to paraphrase Uncle Ben from Spider-Man: “With great FREEDOM comes great responsibility.” We seem to forget that because we’re free, we are responsible for using that freedom in a disciplined manner. 

The late, great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar had a saying:

“Take a train off the tracks, and it’s totally free… But it can’t go anywhere.”

Take whatever meaning from this you will. But I know what it means to me. 

by Nathan Coumbe

Here’s how to know if you’re manipulating someone…

If they knew EXACTLY what you knew about your…

  1. Product
  1. Service
  1. Idea

And knowing exactly what you know, they wouldn’t…

  1. Buy it…
  1. Use it…
  1. Believe it…

Then, yes, you’re manipulating them. 

On the other hand, if they knew exactly what you know, and they STILL wanted to engage with it, you’re doing something right. 

Don’t create or sell things you aren’t proud of. 

by Nathan Coumbe

Voting for others’ needs

How would you vote differently if you took your wants and desires out of the equation?

What if—instead of voting based on the promises politicians make that make your life better—you considered how those promises would affect others? 

The people who are different from you…

Those that have less than you (or more)…

Would you still believe that those policies were the best for everyone? Or do they just help you?

And do they actually help you? More importantly, do you believe they’ll follow through with them when so many don’t? Most of it’s just rhetoric after all.

Would you demand more, and better, from your elected officials?

Something to consider when the time comes.

by Nathan Coumbe

Build integrity like a muscle

Integrity simply means keeping promises you make—both to yourself and others. 

It’s almost like a muscle, something that must be stretched and strained so that it can grow bigger and stronger over time. 

The best way to develop integrity is to start making tiny promises to yourself, then follow through with them. 

Every time you schedule or write down a task…

  • Writing a blog post
  • Taking a 20-minute walk
  • Eating a serving of vegetables with dinner

…you’re giving yourself the potential to build your integrity muscle. 

Then, when you follow through on those tiny commitments, your sense of integrity gets stronger. 

Soon you’ll be able to make bigger and bigger promises to yourself and others.

But most importantly, you’ll have trained yourself to follow through. 

That’s how you become a person of integrity: one tiny promise at a time.

What’s one small thing can you promise yourself today?