Category / happiness

by Nathan Coumbe

Sensible and human things

I found this quote in one of my old folders. It seems apt for our current situation:

“This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.” 

—C.S. Lewis, On Living in an Atomic Age (1948)

by Nathan Coumbe

Two types of happiness

Hedonic Happiness: Happiness that comes from the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

Eudaemonic Happiness: Happiness that comes from living a meaningful life.

You say you want one, but do your actions speak otherwise?

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by Nathan Coumbe

Happiness is a by-product

It is pursued and obtained indirectly by doing things—consistently, deliberately, and long-term—that may not always be physically enjoyable in the moment but inevitably result in a feeling of happiness.

Instead of trying to will happiness into existence, focus on the conditions that bring about happiness—sound mind, healthy body, meaningful work, deep relationships—and perhaps it will emerge. —Clay Skipper

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by Nathan Coumbe

Two ways to have more

The first way is the one we most often focus on: earn more money.

Get a higher-paying job to buy a nicer house, go out more, and live a life of luxury. In short, you want to earn more money to have the freedom and flexibility to live a better life.

But there’s an inverse to this idea: needing less.

Lower your expenses by moving into a smaller home, downgrading to one car, or making more meals at home. Decrease what you need money for, and you get the same effect: more freedom and flexibility, but with the money you already make.

One isn’t better than the other, but one might be easier to obtain.

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by Nathan Coumbe

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

It’s a stupid interview question. The only true answer is: “I have no idea.” Because I don’t know what this job will look like until I start doing it. 

Will I want to keep doing it? Will I want a promotion (if one’s available)? Will the job be obsolete by that time? (That one is more and more likely.)

But it’s a great question to ask yourself. Not because you know the answer—it will most likely change as time passes. It’s because the outcome you envision for yourself can help dictate the behaviors you take now. 

If, in 5 years, you see yourself retiring early and spending your weeks on the beach, you know there are some things you need to do. Pay off debt. Invest aggressively. Save, save, save!

If, in 5 years, you want to compete at a high recreational level in tennis, you need to work on conditioning drills, mobility, tennis skills…and hire a coach. 

If, in 5 years, you want to send your first child off to kindergarten, you know now that you should work on your finances, improve your health, and have a conversation with your partner about starting a family.

It’s a stupid interview question. But it’s a great life question.

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by Nathan Coumbe

It’s not about discipline

Having all the discipline in the world won’t help you eat better if the candy is the first thing you see on the counter.

Being disciplined with your time is useless if your phone is set up to make social media easy to access.

Discipline, like motivation, is fleeting and finite. Better to rely on systems and environments that support you instead.

Take social media off your phone. Make it hard to access on your computer by not saving your password and manually typing it in each time.

Keep candy hidden in the back of the cupboard (or if you’re like me, out of the house completely). And keep fresh fruits and easy protein at the front of the fridge.

It’s much easier to build things that support what you want to do rather than trying to muscle your way through.

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by Nathan Coumbe

The joyful life

No original thought today… Just sharing some wisdom on how to live a joyful life.

“Many people view their habits and routines as obstacles or, at the very least, obligations to get through. Making the morning coffee, driving your kids to the next activity, preparing the next meal—we often see our routines as chores to be completed.

But these are not moments to be dismissed. They are life. Making coffee can be a peaceful ritual—perhaps even a fulfilling one—if done with care rather than rushed to completion. It’s about the amount of attention you devote to these simple moments, and whether you choose to appreciate them or bulldoze through them on the way to the next task.

Find the beauty and joy in your daily rituals and you will find beauty and joy in your daily life. To love your habits is to love your days, and to love your days is to love your life.”

—James Clear

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by Nathan Coumbe

How will you measure your life?

Is it by the number in your bank account?

The amount of influence you have over people and events?

What about your job title and the status it brings?

All valid options. But is that what you’ll want to think about as you take your last breath?

Or maybe you’ll use a different measuring stick.

The amount of art you created.

The number of people you changed for the better.

How well you raised your children… And what tremendous people they became.

You get to choose.

*This post was inspired by the book How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton Christensen et al.

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by Nathan Coumbe

Childhood inclinations

Don’t get in the way of your children’s natural inclinations.

If they want to write, encourage it. If they want to dance or sing, help them do it. If they want to play sports, give them the means to do so.

We all seem to be wired for different things. Trying to become something we’re not is the worst possible way to live.

by Nathan Coumbe

What could you do with 30 minutes a day?

Here are just a few things…

  • Read 20 books a year
  • Build a strong, resilient, powerful body
  • Cook a delicious and nutritious meal with your partner
  • Write three pages of something… or finish a book in less than a year
  • Learn a new language
  • Develop a new skill like drawing, dancing, or public speaking

Where does this time come from?

By saying no to a few minutes of social media each day. Or watching one less episode of your favorite show. 

That small sacrifice can pay enormous dividends in your future, and your life satisfaction in general.