Author / Nathan Coumbe

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Posts by Nathan Coumbe

My mission is to learn, inform, inspire, and improve. I am a passionate teacher, an avid writer, a leader of people, and a strategic thinker. Wherever I am, whatever the work I am called to do, my goal is the same: make my little corner of the world better for everyone in it. To do this, I ask better questions and solve more interesting problems for those I serve. Think deeply. Think often. Keep exploring. Always be curious.
by Nathan Coumbe

Rehearse

I had a dream last night in which a very unfortunate situation occurred, and I reacted very poorly. Then, an interesting thing happened – my brain gave me a “do-over.” Without ever waking up, I dreamed the same incident again, but chose a completely different response. I calmly and diplomatically expressed my disappointment in the situation and discussed how and why things had to change.

Of course this was just a dream, but in my conscious hours I have also been pushing myself to pause for just a moment before reacting to a situation and then choose how to respond. This works wonders for unexpected situations at work and at home. However, when you know that situations are going to occur, such as an angry customer, or a difficult task, or delivering bad news to a boss, you can be even more proactive than choosing a response in the moment.

When was the last time you had a dress rehearsal?

Musicians, dancers, actors, anyone who performs, regularly rehearse the material they will present to an audience. Why don’t we all? Each one of us is a performer during the day; whether we are dealing with a difficult person or a difficult task, we have to perform and show empathy and competence to get the job done.

Rehearse these situations when you have a little down time. You know you are going to have angry customers come to you when there is a long wait for service or something of theirs doesn’t work properly, so visualize how you will respond. Make it as real as possible – what sounds do you hear, how does your office smell, what emotions are you feeling in the moment, what are you doing with your hands, with you face? The same goes when you are delivering a presentation to your peers, or having a conversation with your leader about a raise or a new job. Rehearse them in your mind, rehearse them out loud with someone you trust. These are the same visualization techniques professional athletes and artistic performers use to prepare for “game day.”

You are no less of a performer than any athlete or artist, so practice your craft before you deliver it to the public.

by Nathan Coumbe

Do it.

Some people call it “The Grind.” Seth Godin calls it “The Dip.” There comes a time in just about every worthwhile endeavor when things get tough, or boring, or lose their original excitement. The words don’t come and the muse doesn’t speak. You get “writer’s block,” or your sound quality sucks, no matter how hard you practice your instrument. There is a secret to overcoming this:

Do it anyway.

If you are a writer, write something, no matter how short or how bad you think it is. Train the writing muscles.

If you are a musician, play something, even if only for five minutes. No matter how bad it sounds or how little progress you feel you are making, practice anyway. Train the music muscles.

If you are an artist, make something. It might be incredibly similar to something you’ve already done. You might hate it. Draw it or paint it anyway. Train the artistic muscles.

In this way you are also training your brain to get used to regularly producing in your field of endeavor. It’s mental exercise.

Sometimes you just have to do it.

by Nathan Coumbe

Fail and fail often

When Thomas Edison was very young, a teacher told his mother that he was “too stupid to learn anything.” By age 10, he had set up his own laboratory in his family’s home. He became a full-time inventor and set up his laboratory at Menlo Park at age 20. He wasn’t stupid; he was simply born into an industrial, standardized system which sought to stifle his creativity, to make him compliant to the system. The teacher was bad at teaching; the system didn’t know how to properly educate a child.

Our educational system frowns upon children who don’t sit still, who ask too many questions, who can’t regurgitate facts on standardized tests. We are taught to be children who sit still, shut up, and absorb the facts and figures being thrown at us, seldom ever learning how to do anything. Thomas Edison, one of the most influential inventors who ever lived, was one of these children. Each of us is one of these children.

“I have never let schooling interfere with my education.”

– Mark Twain

Edison was not only creative, he was also a failure. And that is something for which we should all strive.

Edison tried over 10,000 different ways of creating a light bulb before finally making the one for which he is famous. A reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 10,000 times?”. Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 10,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 10,000 steps.”

Our educational system frowns upon failure, the greatest teacher of all. The lessons we learn from failure stick with us forever and tend to be much more valuable and useful in helping us make better decisions in the future. We are taught that failure, getting the wrong answer, or writing something poorly, is to be avoided at all costs. Yet the only way to get the right answer is to learn what the wrong one is; the only way to learn to write well is to start writing, most of which will be bad in the beginning.

So what?

Our children, our teens, and yes, us as adults as well, have to get used to the idea of trying new things, of failing. The failures of which I am speaking are not fatal – these are failures in creating something new, or trying out a new skill, or seeking a new way of doing things, of giving something to the world when it might not be accepted.

It might not work. So go fail over and over again until you succeed at something. Try new things, make something, start something, give something to the rest of the world. You might fail. And that failure will teach you a lesson. It will be one of the 10,000 steps in the right direction.

Fail and fail often.

by Nathan Coumbe

Make time for happy

I’ve been dealing with a most ridiculous, and at times comically awful, situation for the last month or so. Yesterday, things came to a head. I won’t go into the details here, but I do wish to share with you my reaction to the situation.

By the time all was said and done, I was absolutely furious. Rage was seeping from my pores; my body was on the verge of convulsion because of how badly I was shaking. I got in my car (slamming the door, of course) and sat and seethed for a few moments more. Then I began to think about how I was thinking and feeling.

Human beings are unique in this respect: we can think about how we think. Because of this, we also get to choose how we react in a given situation. (Read Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, and you can get more into this.) I had a choice – I could be mad, or I could let it go.

I chose mad.

I sat in my car, and I consciously decided, then and there, that I was going to be mad. This situation was so awful, so asinine, that I couldn’t just let it go! I had to be mad.

With a catch.

I gave myself a time limit (a trick I learned from reading the works of Zig Ziglar). It was 4:30pm – I needed to drive home and spend the evening with my wife. Now why would I make my wonderful wife miserable because I was having such a hard time? I decided I would be mad – for a period.

“Nathan,” I said aloud, “6pm. That’s how long you have to be mad. At six o’clock, you are going to let it go, and you are going to be spend a nice evening with your wife. Until 6pm you can be mad as hell.”

5:15pm

By about 5:15pm, I decided it was too exhausting to be mad. I told my wife what I had done, what I had decided, and she laughed. Her whole face lit up; it was as though a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, not just mine. She thought that my whole monologue was hilarious, wonderful, and one of the best things that I could have done. We splurged and got pizza, ice cream, tater tots, and ended up having a nice evening together.

Be mad – with a catch.

Go ahead – react appropriately to the situations in your life. Sometimes they stink. Sometimes they really stink. Just don’t live in the garbage. Give yourself a time limit.

by Nathan Coumbe

Live by the ABCs

I have a mantra that I repeat to myself through out the day, especially when I start to get bored or frustrated with something.

“Always. Be. Curious.”

These are my ABCs. Corny, I know. I don’t care.

My brain never stops; thoughts fly through my mind at light speed in a never-ending stream. There was a time when I tried to drown them out by mindlessly watching television or playing video games. I didn’t know what to do with all the thoughts; at times, they overwhelmed me, annoyed me, or just plain scared me.

Then I learned how to use it to my advantage – I started listening to Seth Godin who taught me to sit with the anxiety created by these racing thoughts and condition my mind to get used to it all rather than try and eradicate it by vegging out in front of a screen. I also read a book called How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci by Michael J. Gelb which taught me to keep a notebook and write down my thoughts and observations throughout the day.

It changed my life.

I have written down some absolutely stupid, ridiculous, useless thoughts in my notebooks, and yet I have also written down profound words of wisdom, insightful revelations about myself and what I want, solutions to problems that have plagued me, and some of the most interesting observations of the world around me which used to just pass me by.

So today, think about embracing your inner child, the one who used to ask questions about everything, the child that had to touch and smell and taste and listen to everything that crossed his or her path as a way to make sense of the world. Sit with your thoughts, without a phone or a tablet or screen in front of you. Let your mind wander. Write some things down.

Always be curious.

by Nathan Coumbe

Don’t bury the gift

My inspirational reading this morning as well as the podcast to which I was listening on the way to the gym both spoke about gifts and talents. All of us have at least one; mine happens to be music. I started taking violin lessons when I was 7 years old and caught on very quickly. Throughout my entire musical career, things related to music came naturally to me, whether it was music theory, the history of music, or picking up new instruments and quickly learning how to play them.

Then I auditioned for college – it was in that audition that I realized natural talent would only carry me so far. As a child and young adult, I rarely practiced – it all came so easily to me, I didn’t feel like I needed to do so. Halfway through my college education, I realized how much I really did have to learn and talent wouldn’t carry me any farther without disciplined, dedicated practice and lots of sacrifice.

I quit.

I suppose it was fear – something which came so easily to me was suddenly difficult, it was work, it took time to develop.

I buried my gift.

For a couple of years, music was absent from my life – I neither played nor listened to music. I shut it off.

Nurture yours

After a lot of reading, listening, thinking, and rewiring, I realized that I had been gifted with an affinity for music and had to nurture it in some way. I was no better than anyone else, and certainly much worse than others, it was something that simply came naturally to me and needed to be developed (imagine how much further along I would have been had I taken the raw talent when younger and practiced). But I finished my music degree and brought music back into my life.

You have a gift.

There is at least one thing that comes easily to you. Some people may tell you that it isn’t a talent or a gift, but I say it is. Perhaps it isn’t an obvious one, or a gift over which others ooooh and aaaahhhh. Maybe you speak very well, or understand electrical systems, or the inner workings of cars, or have a deft hand at puppetry! It doesn’t matter – if you have an natural inclination towards something, develop it.

Do something with it. Get better. It may not bring you money or riches, but nurture it anyway. Practice the one thing (or more than one thing) at which you were uniquely gifted, however seemingly big or small the talent.

Get better at it. Develop your gift, and when it gets difficult, keep going.

Don’t quit.

by Nathan Coumbe

You are a unique work of art

Have you ever copied something? For instance, if you were learning to draw, you probably traced or copied some other piece of art in order to practice. Or maybe if you are a musician, you have emulated or copied something that one of your favorite artists played on a record or put up on YouTube.

Here’s something to think about – even if you copied it “perfectly,” it still wasn’t exactly the same. The note you played was probably infintismally sharper or flatter than the note the musician played; the line drawn probably had one or two atoms difference in the width or the length. So, in a certain respect, the art was original – it was yours.

You are quite similar to these “copies” – similar in many ways to those that have come before you or to the people working in your same career. Even if you try to be exactly the same or to strive for perfection, you will be different in some minuscule, perhaps microscopic, way.

At the very least, genetically you are one of a kind. I am paraphrasing Robert Greene here, in a book he wrote called Mastery, in which he says that each one of us has never happened before and will never happen again. We are original works of art, no matter how similar we may feel to others.

This is wonderful, because it means that each one of us has the potential to become something great, something different, to bring something to the world that has never before existed.

So go ahead and copy, emulate the people you admire, and learn from as many different sources as possible; each time you do it, whatever you do will be ever so slightly different. Eventually you will become who you were uniquely made to be, and you will give your gifts to the rest of us.

P.S.

Mastery is one of my all-time favorite books. It studies the great masters of many different crafts in varying periods in history. I highly recommend it for those of you interested in finding some inspiration on mastering your creativity. Find it here.

by Nathan Coumbe

Start something.

A number of weeks ago, my wife and I went out to play some pick-up soccer with folks in our community; it didn’t quite go as planned. After a flurry of text messages, it turned out that a flat soccer ball and someone’s annoying brother had wrecked our hopes of playing soccer that evening (yes, there is more than one obvious solution to this problem, but that’s not the point of this story).

We refused to let those issues stop us, and we had an idea (and luckily, a frisbee). We decided to teach the folks who were originally going to play soccer with us how to play Ultimate Frisbee. One hot, sweaty, muddy, grass-covered hour later, our group collapsed on the ground, exhausted and exhilarated. Not only did they all have a blast, they all wanted to know when the next game was happening. Since then, we’ve been playing 2-3 times a week, we have created a subscription calendar that anyone can get to see when the next game is, and our interest and attendance in the group has been steadily growing.

So why I am telling you this story? It’s really quite simple:

Start something.

Do something. Write something. Play something. Call someone and see if they are interested. Send them a text message. Put up a flyer.

Start something.

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

– Walt Disney

We all have ideas that could start something – it may not be a new career or financially lucrative, but it could start a community league, or a charity, or a movement (and it could also be a new career AND financially lucrative).

Just so you know – it might not work.

WHO CARES?

If you never try to do it, then it definitely won’t work.

Do you play guitar? See if you can go teach someone else the basics. Do you draw or paint or sculpt? See if there is someone you know that might want to try a new hobby. Are you an awesome chess player? Find a friend that always wanted to learn or start a group that meets each week to play a tournament.

Start something. It might not work; it might be a bad idea. Do it anyway. And then do it again tomorrow. It might not work.

But what if it does?

by Nathan Coumbe

Debt is killing your creativity

Are you a Creative?

Do you make something for the rest of the world to read, see, hear, or consume? Are you an artist, a musician, an actor, a writer, a blogger, photographer, videographer?

It doesn’t matter what your “art” is – you are a Creative.

I have four words to say to all of my fellow Creatives out there:

GET. OUT. OF. DEBT.

It doesn’t matter if you have a little debt or a lot – it is killing you. It’s a weight holding you down, preventing you from giving your best to the world – and we need your best.

How many of you went to college and racked up a massive amount of student loan debt to complete a degree in the arts? I did. By the time I finished my sophomore year of college, I had racked up $25,000 in student loan debt. Ironically, I was working so much as a freelance musician, teacher, and retail associate that, along with my partial scholarships, I could have paid the other half of my tuition out-of-pocket and keep my living expenses paid (as a matter of fact, when I “woke up” in my junior year, that’s actually what I managed to do, but the damage was already done).

Did you put your instrument, your camera, your computer, or maybe even your art supplies on a credit card? Did you borrow money for a car? I did – two cars, actually, and the first one was somewhere near 30% interest!

It may feel normal, but debt is preventing you from making your greatest contributions to the rest of the world.

Debt is making your career decisions for you.

You didn’t make a bad decision by studying your art or your craft – you simply made a bad decision with money.

How many of you took an 8-5 job after you finished your degree because you had to pay the bills? What opportunities have you turned down over the years because you had the weight of your debts hanging around your neck? How many of you have quit your art because you have to spend so much time making money at a “real job” instead of creating?

What would you do differently today if the obligations of paying the minimum payments to which you are so accustomed weren’t around anymore? Would you move to a new city? Take a more enjoyable job? Would you quit the 8-5 grind? Would you start creating again?

Debt sucks.

Debt may be normal in our society today, but I don’t care. I know from personal experience how damaging it is to our creativity. Make the decision today – declare debt to be the enemy of your art.

“How can I possibly live without debt?”

A year and a half ago, my wife and I made the decision to declare debt as the enemy of our art. Since then, we’ve gotten on a budget, told our money where to go, and paid off nearly $30,000 in student loan, consumer, and car debt. We are on a plan to be totally debt free within two more years.

No, we don’t make six figures. No, we don’t live rent-free with relatives. We simply have sacrificed, planned, and made the decision to change. We still have fun, even on a budget; we still eat awesome food every now and then. But we have decided to make our own decisions about what we want to do in life, not let the crushing weight of our debts make those decisions for us. It can be done; we are living proof.

The world needs your creativity. We need your art, your words, your music, your voice. Please don’t let debt stifle it anymore.

P.S.

If you want to know how we have been so successful in throwing off the yoke of debt, please feel free to reach out to me here on my blog or at any of the social media sites listed on the home page. I have a lot of resources I’d love to share with you, as well as some awesome people you should listen to. It would be my pleasure to talk to you.

We are big fans of the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps as a roadmap for getting out of debt and building wealth, as well as his company’s EveryDollar budgeting app for keeping track of your money and telling it where to go.

by Nathan Coumbe

Replace One Word and Solve a Problem

I have been working on my self-talk a lot recently, and a technique that I have found that really helps me get out of my own way is swapping out the word “but” for the word “and”. This idea came to me after reading a short, but very impactful, blog post by Scott Miller of FranklinCovey entitled “I Can’t Do That”.

How is “but” sabotaging us?

To illustrate the point of how this process can work, let me give you an example with which I am currently wrestling. I studied classical and jazz percussion in college, something that I absolutely loved and found great fulfillment in pursuing. Then I made some stupid decisions and am now currently without a drum set or anything other than a snare drum and some sticks. I would love to start another side hustle using my musical skills and abilities, but I have talked my way out of it many times without even trying. My normal thinking would be “I would love to start a business using my musical skills to teach and play the drums, BUT I don’t have an instrument other than a snare drum.” Well, there you have it – nothing can be done now. I’m stuck. There is no possible way for me to do anything with the skills or resources at my disposal.

Perhaps you already see how this works, but I will walk through it all the same. If I just change the word “but” to the word “and”, something magical happens. “I would love to start a business using my musical skills to teach and play the drums, AND I don’t have an instrument.” Now it is just a problem to solve rather than a brick wall preventing me from making any progress. I could easily follow it up with “so…[insert solution to problem]”, and I have just gotten out of my own way and on the path to a side-hustle. (As an aside, I am positioning myself as an expert snare drummer with a focus on musicality and technique that can be applied to the drum set as well as other percussion instruments.)

Implementation

There are plenty of others ways you can implement this:

  • I want to lose weight, but I don’t have much time.
  • I want to start my own business, but I don’t have any startup capital.
  • I want to get a job in web development, but I don’t know about JavaScript.

You know the drill now – we use “and” now.

  • I want to lose wait, AND I don’t have much time, so I should find a physical activity that I enjoy that doesn’t take up much of my time.
  • I want to start my own business, AND I don’t have any startup capital, so I should find a business idea that costs little or nothing to start making a profit.
  • I want to get a job in web development, AND I don’t know about JavaScript, so I should sign up for an online course or read a book about the subject.

What about you?

Are there things you want to do, AND the word “but” is getting in your way? See what I did there? It’s now just a problem for you to solve! The next time you start talking yourself out of doing something, try this little technique and see if you come up with a possible solution to your problem. You’d be surprised how easy it is.