“Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth.”
–N. Eldon Tanner
Let us each pay our rent in full today.
Let us earn our keep by serving each other in meaningful ways.
Today and every day.
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You’ve probably looked at someone who was in great shape and thought to yourself, “Man, I wish I could be like him.”
Maybe this thought crossed your mind soon after: “If I really enjoyed hours at the gym and grilled chicken and broccoli every night for dinner, I’d be fit too.”
Here’s the thing – fit people don’t necessarily enjoy spending 3-4 hours a week at the gym or eating simple, similar meals over and over again. It’s not a matter of enjoyment.
What they do is subordinate their cravings, emotions, and desires to a higher value system they establish for themselves.
People who are successful at anything do the same thing. Albert E. Gray said it best when he wrote:
“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”
–Albert E. Gray
One of the most important lessons I learned from Dr. John Berardi of Precision Nutrition is that when making change for your health and fitness goals, you are going to be tired; you are going to be hungry sometimes; you are going to be in a crabby mood and not want to do what is good for you. His response: “whoever said this was going to be easy?”
Successful people, whether they are successful in health or fitness, or successful in their families and careers, are just like you and me. They have the same cravings, the same desire to say “screw it all” or “I don’t want to do that” or “I’m scared I might fail/they might laugh at me/they might say no.” The only difference is they make the choice to act anyway.
They are able to do this because they want something more than the resistance is telling them they want in this very moment. They begin with the end in mind and act proactively, rather than living in and for the moment, reacting to whatever whim, craving, or feeling comes their way during any given moment.
This way of living–of choosing to do things that failures don’t want to do–can all be traced back to fundamental principles of effective living. They are embodied clearly and coherently in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. Successful people subordinate their fears and momentary desires to values, principles, and a desired end-goal. They “begin with the end in mind” as Dr. Covey writes in the chapter about Habit 2.
A successful sales person probably doesn’t want to make another cold call and face the very real possibility of rejection. But she does it anyway because the end she has in mind might be a full sales pipeline, a good income to support her family, or the growth of her business (perhaps all three and more). She’s just as scared as anyone else; she still feels the butterflies in her stomach when she dials the number; but she chooses to act rather than react to the feelings of the moment.
You are a successful person already because you have the ability to do this with every task, project, and goal in your life. Realize that it’s all a matter of choice based on the end-result you desire. Envision the end you want to achieve, hold it in your mind in the moment of choice, and make decisions based on which outcomes get you closer to the end you want.
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O God, the Great Creator,
You created me in your image,
Therefore I am to be creative like you.
I know now that I am simply a vessel
For your creative energy.
Help me each day to serve you,
To let this creative force flow
Through me,
So I can make the world
A better and more beautiful place,
For myself and all who inhabit it with me.
Lead me and let me,
Serve as a light,
A beacon to others who wish
To be creative themselves.
Let my artistry shine through
in all work in which I have a hand.
O God, the Great Creator,
I promise to take care of the quantity.
I trust you to take care of the quality.
I know now that I am loved,
That I was created to live
A prosperous and creative life.
For the gifts of love, life, and creativity,
I thank you.
Something I’ve been working on a lot during my deep dive into creativity and self-awareness is dealing with fear. It’s always there, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to find a way to get rid of it.
What I have learned, however, is simple: feel the fear…then act anyway.
Almost nothing we do in modern life is actually dangerous – it just feels dangerous, and our amygdala tells us to run as fast as we can in the other direction. Making a cold call, sending out batches of promo materials to prospective employers, sitting in an interview…none of these things are dangerous. They just feel dangerous.
Jumping out of a plane with no parachute is dangerous; driving while wearing a blindfold is dangerous.
Trying something new where you may be told no? That’s not dangerous.
I’ve decided to feel the fear, and act anyway. First, it was making a phone call to get contact information for someone in charge of a job I desperately wanted to take. Then it was beginning the sales process of promoting myself to that person. Today, it was reaching out to an old contact – a professor at a local college – about working for her in her program.
Each time, I felt tremendous fear, then did the thing that scared me anyway Euphoria followed fear, then the fear melted away.
And so far, 2 out of the 3 times, it has paid off. The person I called was incredibly kind and more than happy to give me the information I was seeking (why was I so scared?).
The contact at the college was very positive in her response (again, why was I so scared?).
And the third person? Well, I’m not done selling myself to him yet.
What is, and was, the worst that any of them could say? No? That’s not scary or dangerous. It just means I’ve got to try something else.
But the best part of all this? If I act and succeed, then I win! If I act and fail, I STILL WIN! How? Because I did something that scared me, which makes it easier to do it again next time in a different situation. Because I’m exercising the muscle of action in the face of fear. Because I’m not basing my self-worth over how other people feel about me, what they say about me, or whether or not they say yes to my proposal. I don’t feel the need for that approval anymore – it’s just a happy bonus if I get it.
I will quote Susan Jeffers at length here:
“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures…Take a risk a day – one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.”
–Susan Jeffers
I’ve decided to make fear my companion on this adventure called life. I hope you will too.
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To all my wonderful readers:
I apologize for my long absence from the blog. I’ve been on something of a publishing sabbatical for the last couple of months. During that time, I have done a deep dive into my creative self; I’ve been working to heal old wounds, develop my self-awareness, and reconnect with God, artistry, and the creative energy with which we have all been blessed. In short: I’ve put myself through a process of creative recovery as the wonderful Julia Cameron calls it.
This process has brought me back to the blog and what I hope to do with it. For the longest time, it has been my writings on what I’ve learned at work, in my reading, and by listening to great teachers. I’ve decided that I want a different focus: I want this blog to be a place for Creatives to come when they need inspiration, help, or collaboration; guidance on how to make a life with their art; and how to rekindle their creativity as I have so diligently worked to do myself.
As such, you will notice different content posted on here going forward. Some days, there may be photographs; other days might have long-form essays on specific topics. You will see more music posted here, perhaps even some poetry and stories. I will continue to publish educational articles as well: information to help writers, artists, musicians, and anyone else who considers himself or herself a Creative, regardless of the field or medium.
I will also be working to better organize this blog, so that different types of work can more easily be found – essays will have an essay section; music will have a music section, etc.
I want this to become a collaborative community, one where artists can see others’ work, contribute their own, and feel supported in the process. As such, I would like to feature work you wish to share with others here on this blog using my platform (with all credit going to you, of course). It might be a different person each week; it might be the same few people each week. It depends on who is willing to show up, share, and contribute to the community.
This will be a place for art, a place for thinking, a place for creativity, collaboration, and connection with others. It will be a place for love, generosity, spirituality, and goodness.
I will continue to encourage, enlighten, and educate each day for as long as I am able. I hope you will continue to follow me on this journey and contribute along the way.
Sincerely,
Nathan
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“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music–the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.
–Henry Miller
Life is better when you live it for things outside yourself.
“All intellectual improvement arises from leisure.”
–Samuel Johnson
You’ve experienced it before: you’re scrubbing yourself in the shower and a million-dollar idea pops into your head, but by the time you get out it’s gone.
You’re driving down the highway, and your mind starts to wander; pretty soon you’ve concocted in your mind an entire business plan that could make you extremely successful. But alas, you’re driving – you have no way to write it all down.
A bored, quiet mind is a creative mind. Samuel Johnson said it well: “all intellectual improvement arises from leisure.” True leisure is something most of us haven’t experienced in 10 years – before the dawn of the always-on, always-connected smartphone culture.
We don’t know what leisure is anymore; we don’t know how to be bored anymore. Our first instinct when boredom strikes is to pick up the phone and scroll our favorite social media feeds. It preoccupies our minds and rids us of our boredom, but it also shuts off our creativity.
True leisure is allowing yourself to be bored, engaging with your thoughts, letting the mind wander or buzz absently. It’s going for a long walk at the park with no music and no podcasts.
If you want those truly life-changing, million-dollar ideas to come naturally and often, get really and truly bored. Do something on autopilot that puts you into the same mental state as showering or mindless driving.
Give your mind a chance to wander and watch the improvements come.
Zig Ziglar relates a story in one of his talks about a man traveling through Native American tribes early in the 20th Century. What the man discovered was not a single person he encountered in those tribes stuttered.
This phenomenon fascinated him, but he could never find a reason why. Finally, he asked one of the elders in the tribe why this was so. The elder informed the man there was no word in their native language for “stutter.”
No label, no problem.
In a fantastic article in The New Yorker, the author writes about the phenomenon known as “writer’s block.” What’s most interesting is this problem is not world-wide. The idea did not penetrate Europe until the 1800s, and even today, most Europeans don’t know what it is. It seems to be almost strictly an American issue.
No label, no problem. If you don’t have a way to identify something as a problem, it can’t be a problem.
We are all creative at something. We don’t get blocked: we get scared that what we create isn’t good enough. We feel there is some ethereal muse that must speak to us before we can make anything worthwhile.
That’s crap.
Seth Godin has, what I believe to be, the most profound podcast episode I’ve ever listened to called “No such thing (as writer’s block).” One of my favorite sayings in the episode is this: “plumbers don’t get plumber’s block.” No plumber says he’s feeling too overwhelmed or uncreative enough to fix a pipe. They just fix the pipe. Surgeons don’t wait until they hear the muse speak to them to operate – they practice their craft every day and perform when it’s time to perform.
Your art, whether it’s writing, music, painting, communicating, or leading people, is a craft – it’s a trade! Like blacksmithing, welding, or some other trade, it’s something that you learn, practice each day, and use to make something.
If you’re a writer – write! Every day. Write something. Set a timer for 30 minutes and write. If you can’t think of what to write, write “I can’t think of anything to write,” over and over again until a new thought pops into your head. When that thought pops into your head, write it down too. Don’t worry about it making sense, being fantastic, or winning a literary prize. Just write.
Insert your own art into the statement above and adapt it to your own situation.
You aren’t blocked – you’re scared. Don’t wait for the muse. Do your work.
It’s a trade like any other.
Criticism sucks. At times, it’s necessary for growth, but it still sucks.
How did you react the last time someone criticized you? I’m guessing you retreated inward, or perhaps you did the opposite and lashed out to defend your actions.
People don’t like to be wrong, and they like it even less when their wrongdoing is pointed out. Criticism only creates a need in others to justify their actions.
Really, when someone does something wrong, the only useful thing to do for either party involved is to respond proactively. On the lowest level of proactivity, this means living by Jesus’ principle of “turning the other cheek.” Simply choose not to react–easier said than done, I know, but it can be developed with practice like any skill or muscle. At a higher level, this might mean never taking offense to the wrongdoing in the first place. This idea is the epitome of stoicism.
As you go about your day, assume that each person you meet is angry, negative, reactive, and will blame everyone and everything he meets for his circumstances…except himself. If you do this, you’ll soon realize that criticizing or reacting to him does nothing except, perhaps, to make you feel better.
It won’t solve the problem; he won’t learn the lesson you want to pound into him; and the only growth anyone makes will be that of resentment and ill will between each party.
Don’t be a critic; be a model of what you wish others to do. It’s the only way to create the change you seek. Learn how right here.
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”
–Zig Ziglar
You cannot read a book one time and consider yourself done with it. You have not learned it all or digested enough of it to make any difference in your life. The same is true of motivation – one speech will change your life, but only for a day. You must revisit and remind yourself daily of the message that so inspired you. You must practice it daily.
I’ve found the same idea to be true of working with people in any sort of leadership or supervisory position. Managing people is also like bathing: you have to do it every day.
I found myself in previous roles aggravated by having to remind people of the same tasks, duties, and responsibilities. In my mind, if I delegated something to someone, that should have been the end of it. It should have been taken care of from that point forward.
It rarely was. I found myself constantly having to remind teammates to do this or remember that. This frustration had nothing to do with anyone’s incompetence or irresponsibility and everything to do with my mindset. Managing people requires setting a goal and then helping your people along the path to that goal. They will not achieve it on their own with all the competing priorities set before them during a typical workday. It must be made fresh in their minds daily. Don’t let the need to remind your people daily of what you expect from them cause irritation or frustration on your part. It’s part of the job.
The lesson for today is to bathe every day, motivate every day, and manage every day.
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